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Improving my sex life
Hello,
I am a married woman of 38 years married to a man my age. Recently I've discovered myself getting terribly turned on by dominant behavior in the bedroom, being bound, held, spanked all turns me on tremendously, since then I tried to make my husband aware of those fantasies.
We attended a BDSM workshop together, and we ended up buying a few things such as a paddle, some restraints and a blindfold in the hope of using them soon. Well, ever since he has only used the paddle once, despite me telling him how much I do love it and that I wish nothing more than for him to use it.
Our sex life is basically a long list of quickies, he also finishes immediately apologizes for it and says that he would really like to dominate me in the bedroom, yet he never acts upon it, I simply can't understand why?
He knows I simply love that, we have the tools and as he says, he would love to dominate me, yet when it's time to act upon it, he just sticks to his old fashioned ways that for me at this point are a bit boring.
Why would he, despite stating that he would like to dominate me, and me giving all the encouraging I possibly can not act upon it?
I am a married woman of 38 years married to a man my age. Recently I've discovered myself getting terribly turned on by dominant behavior in the bedroom, being bound, held, spanked all turns me on tremendously, since then I tried to make my husband aware of those fantasies.
We attended a BDSM workshop together, and we ended up buying a few things such as a paddle, some restraints and a blindfold in the hope of using them soon. Well, ever since he has only used the paddle once, despite me telling him how much I do love it and that I wish nothing more than for him to use it.
Our sex life is basically a long list of quickies, he also finishes immediately apologizes for it and says that he would really like to dominate me in the bedroom, yet he never acts upon it, I simply can't understand why?
He knows I simply love that, we have the tools and as he says, he would love to dominate me, yet when it's time to act upon it, he just sticks to his old fashioned ways that for me at this point are a bit boring.
Why would he, despite stating that he would like to dominate me, and me giving all the encouraging I possibly can not act upon it?
Well maybe he would really love to do it but he just feels awkward when it comes time to do so. I know I'd love to do role play and stuff but I feel stupid when it comes time. Even with encouragement there's still that insecurity there. Maybe just gradually do those things. Build he's confidence. Just before y'all get started say I'd like you to spank me with your hand. You can work up to the paddle. Just start small and slow. He should start letting go once he sees how fun it is and how much he also likes it. You should also ask what he'd like to do.
Good luck :)
Princess.
Good luck :)
Princess.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Your husband gets over excited and ejaculates prematurely. After ejaculation, it takes half an hour to get erection again. So quickies are not possible. He can do edging to prolong his erection. Edging is withhold pumping when he is on the verge of ejaculation till the urge is dissipated. Then start again. withholding and pumping will enable him to have a long time erection.Google 'Edging" and learn details.To stop ejaculation, he has to take deep abdominal breathing.Read messages dealing with premature ejaculation.
When he has the urge, don't give in to him doing a "quickie". By allowing him to do a "quickie" every time, he gets his bit and then is either too tired or can't be bothered satisfying your needs.
You could have a system where you take a turn to satisfy each others sexual needs.
Is he too tired or just can't be bothered to take the time to satisfy your sexual urges? May be you should set an evening planned in advance to have a "playful time".
You can also stimulate him and then ease off if he comes too quickly to prolong erections.
Best wishes.
You could have a system where you take a turn to satisfy each others sexual needs.
Is he too tired or just can't be bothered to take the time to satisfy your sexual urges? May be you should set an evening planned in advance to have a "playful time".
You can also stimulate him and then ease off if he comes too quickly to prolong erections.
Best wishes.
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