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Need help with sexual life with my wife
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Need help with sexual life with my wife

Hi all

I don't know if this is the right place to post this question or not.

I have been married for 10 years and I have 2 lovely daughters. My problem is that my wife is not interested in having sex for some reason I don't know what it is. it has been decreasing for the last 4-5 years. Now we have sex like once in 1 or 2 months. To be frank with you I like sex, that's why I am masturbating something like 3 -4 times a week. Also she doesn't get aroused even while we are having sex. She seems like doing it because she is my wife and must do it from time to time, not because she likes to have sex. Even we have the same position because she says that is the way she likes.

I don't know what to do. I don't want to divorce her, because I don't like to make my daughters suffer from this also I can't continue my life like this. you know we will only live once, so what is the point of not enjoying it
7 Comments Post a Comment
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139792_tn?1299416777
It is always a good practice to consult doctor first to rule our physical and mental issues. you may ask her to do female deer exercise, or kegel exercise.Google both the words , let her learn the exercise and then practice regularly. with deer exercise, she should be Okay within a month.While doing intercourse, see that her clitoris is rubbed by the dorsal part of your penis.You may search for methods to stimulate clitoris in different websites.
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Avatar_f_tn
You're in the right place. This is the Sexual Health forum.
There could be several reasons why your wife does'nt have much of a sex drive. Taking care of 2 children, a husband and a home can be so draining. If she's working outside of the home it can of course be even more draining. I would recommend sitting your wife down to talk. Ask her if this is the problem, being tired and drained. If it is then maybe you can pitch in more with the kids and housework. If this is not the problem then talk to her about seeing gynecologist. It could be a hormone problem.
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4851940_tn?1385441629
Your wife may have a low libido drive.

It would be a good idea when you are both alone to talk with her about sex and if there is anything that puts her off or the different touches that she enjoys that turn her on.

Rather than just have sex, you need to arouse your wife by caressing and kissing and touching in erogenous places on her body.  When she is fully aroused (use lubrication if you need to, both on yourself and on your wife), then you will both be able to enjoy penetrative intimacy in which ever position that is comfortable for you both.  Afterwards, don't just turn away and go to sleep, give her a cuddle and kiss her.

Sometimes it is just nice not to have penetrative intimacy, but to give each other (on different days) an intimate message to the point of reaching a climax.

If you wife is taking any medications, that can have an effect on the libido as well as any other issues that can cause her stress and anxiety and like remar mentions, you wife just being too tired and too exhausted to think about sex.  

Hope you get to work things out.

Best wishes.

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13167_tn?1327197724
I kind of have different thoughts.  

I went through a period of years where I had zero libido,  which is unusual for me.  I really think it's a brain/hormone thing and not a psychological thing.  For me,  anyway.  I think I had enough kids and my brain said that's enough,  we won't be making any more for awhile.  

For me,  I would have been happier with just a quickie where I wasn't pressured to pretend to "get in to it".  I wasn't going to get in to it,  so sex became even more burdensome having to have it last forever with lots of foreplay and then having to answer to why I did or didn't have an orgasm.

Although this isn't the best solution,  if you make sex quick with no pressure on her part to initiate or become really passionate you will probably get a lot more sex.  And then hopefully her libido will return at some point.  

Best wishes.
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4851940_tn?1385441629
Psychological problems mean "with your brain thought patterns".  
The way people are taught and brought up about sex or experience traumatic experiences, can be affected psychologically with regard to having any sexual experiences later.  This means that physically there is nothing wrong, but the mind puts a block, or there is a fear of engaging in sexual intimacy with their partner.

To me sex is a very intimate moment that is the ultimate in getting close to the person you love.  And a "quick in and out jobby" does not show the caring and affection between two lovers, but just an act of sex for the sake of sex.  That is fine if both partners agree to that, but women do need to be aroused so that the natural lubricating fluids flow in readiness for penetration.  Having a quickie can be very painful for the woman if she is dry.

Everyone is different.  Some couples may find that having an intimate session now and then fine, whilst other couples may have a desire for more passion and sexual intimacy and engage in intimate interactions more that a few times a week.

My view is that any man who just wants and does a "quickie" without considering the emotions of his partner and ensuring that she is ready to "receive" him is very selfish and uncaring.  

A lot of women never experience an orgasm just through penetrative sex.

There are also other techniques that can be used to enjoy giving and receiving sexual pleasure without having to take part in penetrative sex.

Best wishes to all.







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Avatar_f_tn
Agree with this
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139792_tn?1299416777
Sexual activity is two way phenomenon.If a couple has satisfactory sexual relationship, their life will be happy on all fronts. Physiologically also sexual activity promote good health. Most of the sexual problem can be resolved by mutual cooperation.
It is believed that couple having a balanced sexual activity lives longer. there children are happier. In short well balanced sexual life give a long and happy life.Other domestic problem can be solved easily with couples who are sexually satisfied..
Sexual energy is most powerful and creative energy which can be transmuted to mental, physical and spiritual energy to bring happiness and longevity.
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