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Sex with Transsexual - Worried
Hello.
I made a very stupid mistake and had sex with a transsexual sex worker. A big issue I have is that I am married and I'm terrified of giving something to my wife, as well as obviously worried about getting 'for life' infections such as herpes and HIV. I am still in touch with the SW, and she says that she has tests for STDs every 2 months, with the most recent a month before we met. She says she is clean.
Firstly there was lots of kissing, some mutual masturbation, some anal sex and oral sex. The anal sex was only given by me to her, it lasted about 10 minutes and I used a condom that did not break. We also rubbed our penises together in mutual masturbation with no condom and ejaculated on each other (away from the genital area and mouth) The oral sex, however, was performed on her and on on me with no condom... hence this is the part I am most worried about. I have been obsessively checking under my foreskin every day for the last 3 weeks and attempting to masturbate normally (once or twice a day). For most of the time since, the glans has looked pretty normal but I have had what I can only describe as a 'weird' feeling in the penis, sort of like an ache, which has shown itself on and off since that night. Now, in the last day or so I have noticed a red, blotchy pattern appear on the glans under the foreskin. There is no discharge, pain, itchiness or swelling... just this blotchiness (which seems to come and go - as I type this it can't really be seen) and the 'weird' feeling. My sex drive is also well down and morning/involuntary erections don't seem to come so often.
A bit of medical background. I was recently taking antibiotics for a chest infection, and that stopped around a week ago. I am generally in good health, but I was feeling run down for a while with the chest infection and have probably been drinking too much in the last month or two. I am also uncircumcised.
The final twist is that I live in another Asian country in a city where there are no English-speaking doctors and where sexual diseases are not well understood or talked about. I am pretty sure I can have the tests and stuff but the fact I can't talk about it with a knowledgeable doctor in my own language makes things even scarier.
I have managed to hold off sex with my wife for a few weeks by giving an excuse, but it won't wash forever. I am freaking out and would really like some advice. I'm not sure even what advice, but just needed to talk to somebody. I feel so stupid and guilty right now, and I'm finding it difficult to focus on work or anything else. I know a definitive HIV test can't be done for a few months, but can I test reliably for other things? Thanks for listening.
I made a very stupid mistake and had sex with a transsexual sex worker. A big issue I have is that I am married and I'm terrified of giving something to my wife, as well as obviously worried about getting 'for life' infections such as herpes and HIV. I am still in touch with the SW, and she says that she has tests for STDs every 2 months, with the most recent a month before we met. She says she is clean.
Firstly there was lots of kissing, some mutual masturbation, some anal sex and oral sex. The anal sex was only given by me to her, it lasted about 10 minutes and I used a condom that did not break. We also rubbed our penises together in mutual masturbation with no condom and ejaculated on each other (away from the genital area and mouth) The oral sex, however, was performed on her and on on me with no condom... hence this is the part I am most worried about. I have been obsessively checking under my foreskin every day for the last 3 weeks and attempting to masturbate normally (once or twice a day). For most of the time since, the glans has looked pretty normal but I have had what I can only describe as a 'weird' feeling in the penis, sort of like an ache, which has shown itself on and off since that night. Now, in the last day or so I have noticed a red, blotchy pattern appear on the glans under the foreskin. There is no discharge, pain, itchiness or swelling... just this blotchiness (which seems to come and go - as I type this it can't really be seen) and the 'weird' feeling. My sex drive is also well down and morning/involuntary erections don't seem to come so often.
A bit of medical background. I was recently taking antibiotics for a chest infection, and that stopped around a week ago. I am generally in good health, but I was feeling run down for a while with the chest infection and have probably been drinking too much in the last month or two. I am also uncircumcised.
The final twist is that I live in another Asian country in a city where there are no English-speaking doctors and where sexual diseases are not well understood or talked about. I am pretty sure I can have the tests and stuff but the fact I can't talk about it with a knowledgeable doctor in my own language makes things even scarier.
I have managed to hold off sex with my wife for a few weeks by giving an excuse, but it won't wash forever. I am freaking out and would really like some advice. I'm not sure even what advice, but just needed to talk to somebody. I feel so stupid and guilty right now, and I'm finding it difficult to focus on work or anything else. I know a definitive HIV test can't be done for a few months, but can I test reliably for other things? Thanks for listening.
Thanks but the STD forums don't appear to be very active, so I chose this one instead.
Yes It's not ideal being here but I'm not in, say, a muslim country or anywhere else that extramarital sex may be considered a crime... I should be safe in that respect. Also there is usually somebody who can speak some English in the hospital. It's just not as comfortable as back in my western home country with it's proper GUM clinic and understanding nature.
I know the risk of HIV is very low, considering the anal sex was safe with lots of lube and oral sex is considered very low risk (though I will of course test for that too anyway).
What I am worried about after reading around is herpes. That's the one that I am truly, really worried about since it's for life... so, my life could be destroyed by 10 minutes of oral sex :( My wife would kick me out, I'd lose her, my son , my job... everything :(
Yes It's not ideal being here but I'm not in, say, a muslim country or anywhere else that extramarital sex may be considered a crime... I should be safe in that respect. Also there is usually somebody who can speak some English in the hospital. It's just not as comfortable as back in my western home country with it's proper GUM clinic and understanding nature.
I know the risk of HIV is very low, considering the anal sex was safe with lots of lube and oral sex is considered very low risk (though I will of course test for that too anyway).
What I am worried about after reading around is herpes. That's the one that I am truly, really worried about since it's for life... so, my life could be destroyed by 10 minutes of oral sex :( My wife would kick me out, I'd lose her, my son , my job... everything :(
COMMUNITY LEADER
Yes this type of mistakes does make us freak. I do appreciate your situation. You already know what you have to do but your circumstances are not favorable to take needed steps. You may have to take help from local person or a doctor who knows English language. You have to search for such a doctor and that too expert in STD. Your task is uphill one. I hope you get some help....
You may post your message in STD forum. You may proper help from the members of that forum.
You may post your message in STD forum. You may proper help from the members of that forum.
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You are reading content posted in the Sexual Health Community
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Discharge often isn't normal, and could mean an infection or an STD.
STDs aren't transmitted through clothing. Fabric is a germ barrier.
Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.
