Was I raped? Physical signs.

[Swimtohawaii]

Okay, back in December I was in a rough place in my life, making many bad decisions. I attended a small get together where there was drinking and drug use. I was intoxicated but not enough to not remember things. I remember most of the night with a few blank spots inbetween. I remember as the night was winding down I got into bed with a friend and I remember he and I were making out and he was fingering me rather hard. I remember other friends walking into the room and quickly leaving upon realizing what was happening. Then I remember talking to him for a while after that then everything goes blank. I think because I fell asleep. But I'm not entirely sure. So the next morning I wake up still in his bed, him next to me asleep, in EXTREME abdominal area pain as well as vaginal burning and blood everywhere. I also had to pee so bad, that may be unrelated. Blood All over my legs and such. I cleaned up and left immediately. We never talked about the night again and soon after, the friend ship dissolved.

So about four months later a found myself in a loving relationship with a man who encourages me to be a better version if myself and choose to loose my virginity to him. So we have sex and there is no blood no pain nothing. He has good size down there so it's not that he just wasn't big enough. So no 'popped cherry' so to say. Which gets me to thinking what if that old friend really raped me and that's why there's no tell tale signs of loosing my virginity when I finally had sex.


I know this is long and I may have missed a part. Please ask any questions that will help answer my question. I just want to know if I was raped. If there is any way to tell physically that you were raped when you wake up the next morning? Thank you in advance

[AnnieBrooke]

It's interesting that you're not commenting on the plausible (getting a period sounds right to me, with the cramping and abdomen pain, or maybe sex with the friend, or rough fingering) and focusing right on the sensational (gang rape).  Get tested for STDs, and then try to get past this.  Unless your friend with whom you had the event can remember and will tell, there is just no way to know what did happen.  Beating yourself up over "What ifs" is not going to do you any good mentally.

[Midnight_Sun]

Gang rape? Seriously?

[Midnight_Sun]

Of course anything is possible. However giving your friend the benefit of the doubt, I'm guessing you ruled out the possibility that you got your period? Abdominal pain and bleeding sounds an awful lot like menstruation. Is it possible you got your period while he was fingering you, and perhaps the awkwardness is a result of this fact.

[remar]

If both of you were drunk there could have been intercourse and neither of you remembered what happened. Him being rough with fingering you could have caused the pain and blood also. Like the above poster said, you will probably never know what happened for sure. You're in a better place with your life now and that's a great thing. I wish we could tell you for sure what happened but we can't. We're always here if you need to talk though.

[Swimtohawaii]

Oh my, no that's not how it was. Two separate thoughts really. Sorry for not clarifying that. And thank you for you help.

[Dalubaba]

Vaginal bleeding may indicate rape. the doctor can find out if it was a rape. Ste check is necessary to rule out any stds.It can be a gang rape as well.Of course id depends on the type of people they were and whether thy were over drunk.

[AnnieBrooke]

I don't know, it sounds plausible.  But a lot of women lose their virginity without floods of blood, or any blood, for that matter.  I don't know that anyone losing their virginity has extreme abdominal pain.    

Why does the new guy encourage you to be a better version of yourself by losing your virginity to him?  Or was that a combination of his thoughts and your thoughts?  I'd be creeped out if a guy encouraged me to rise to be a better person by sleeping with him.

Anyway, it doesn't sound like you will get an answer from the first guy about whether the two of you had sex that night when you were incapacitated.  All you can do is get an STD check and put it all behind you.