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Why is my boyfriend choosing masturbation over me??
"My boyfriend and I have been dating off and on for 12 years. We are both in our late twenties. We have always had a good sexual chemistry in the past. However, when we got back together 2 years ago, something was different. He masturbates at least twice a day. And for the last 6 months we've had sex only a handful of times. I've tried everything!! Send him dirty texts, pictures. He comes home to find me naked. I stroke his ego, I tried to find out what porn he watches to try and figure out what he likes. But no luck :( He is extremely defensive when I try to bring it up. He says I'm trying to control him, I'm being too sensitive. I began to think I wasnt attractive enough, so I started working out. He said I was getting too skinny and I was trying too hard. He said I need to relax and just go with it. So...I do...and he still opts to masturbate instead of being with me. It hurts sooo bad. He says last night he is sorry for not being very sexual. He had no reason, just that he as sorry. I told him how it made me feel. He quickly said it had nothing to do with me. An hour later I go to bed and he heads for the bathroom to take part in his lil activity...the shower constantly smells because of this lil activity he chooses too. What do I do???"
I forgot to add this earlier: your boyfriend might be secretly dealing with sexual dysfunction, or maybe even a porn addiction? You can do research online to see if any of these descriptions match any signs that you have noticed about your boyfriend's behavior.
Hi,
I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. In my opinion, masturbation is perfectly normal, unless it takes precedence over an intimate relationship with your significant other. My suggestion to you would be to have one more open discussion with him about how this affects you. Be gentle, but firm when you tell him that his masturbating should not take priority over sexual intimacy with you. Tell him once more about your expectations you have for the sex life that you want to share with him. If he is non-responsive, or if he shuts you down, this is a definite sign that you might not be compatible. If you don't begin to see positive changes soon, don't waste any more time on this relationship. Everyone deserves to feel appreciated and attractive when they're in a LTR; if that is missing in this relationship, consider moving on.
Good Luck
I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. In my opinion, masturbation is perfectly normal, unless it takes precedence over an intimate relationship with your significant other. My suggestion to you would be to have one more open discussion with him about how this affects you. Be gentle, but firm when you tell him that his masturbating should not take priority over sexual intimacy with you. Tell him once more about your expectations you have for the sex life that you want to share with him. If he is non-responsive, or if he shuts you down, this is a definite sign that you might not be compatible. If you don't begin to see positive changes soon, don't waste any more time on this relationship. Everyone deserves to feel appreciated and attractive when they're in a LTR; if that is missing in this relationship, consider moving on.
Good Luck
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