Sex life

[Shabazz]

My spouse and I have been together for 8 years.  Lately, I've been more sexually motivated.  I am 34 years old and it's always been about my husband becoming satisfied.  I partially blame myself because, I've allowed this for 8 years. Now that  I am at my peek.. I want and need more. He does not do any oral. I brought a toy and doesn't want to use it on me. He stated that If I brought the toy, he would try it out. Not hardly!  I cannot remember the last time he gave me an orgasm.   He is a Good man and a Great father.. But, what am I suppose to do? Get my stimulation from a toy.  Sometimes it's o.k.. But, not all the time. He seems as though he is scared and hasn't had a lot of experience in this matter.  However, with me I've had and them some with men who taught me and vice versa! Prior to our relationship... I am frustrated and horney @ the same time.  What should I do? Where should I go? But, the main question is how will my marriage survive IF he does not help us? He does NOT see the importance in this matter. Your advice is greatly appreciated in this matter!

[SeriousSam]

What type of sex toy?  If it's vibrator a lot of guys are intimidated by ones that are phallic shaped and larger than them.  What are your desired results?  It may be that you can get a toy that makes him part of the toy, or the show!

[nicegirl66]

while sex doesn't define a relationship it's still a very important part of it.  you and your hubby need to comunicate clearly with both of your needs and desires.  you say he doesn't like giving you oral sex....any idea why?  some men can be put off by the smell or taste, but I hear that eating certain foods a bit before sex (fruit is the only thing coming to mind at the moment but there is more) can affect the taste and smell.  Sad to say...but when I eat McDonalds I find afterward I smell rather "greasy" in that area afterwards...so I avoid Mcpukes lol.  the same goes for men.  depending on what my hubby has eaten lately his " flavor" for me can be bitter or sweet or something inbetween.  It may have to do with hygene (sorry I am not saying you aren't a clean individual or anything like that)....lack of hair in the pubic area lessens scents that he may not find appealing...maybe have him try using saran wrap or a dental dam over your privates....you still get all those lovely feelings from him and that barrier between you may make him feel less anxious about the situation.  But in my opinion you two need to talk alot...sex is a big subject because people are so varied in their turn-ons and turn-offs.... and those things can change as we discover things about ourselves.  It can feel embarassing....but you can't let this go on as it has been.  hope this helped some.

[jml1986]

You need to really sit that boy down and have a long heart to heart. He may be embarrased but better that then to remain frustrated. I have recently myself started reaching my peak and I had to tell my husband the he needed to step it up in the bedroom. Thank god he was willing to do so and now we are tearing it down in the sex department. Good luck