Weird, oscillating erectile dysfunction

[greeley101]

Hello,

I have been having sex with my girlfriend for over eight months now.  For the first 2 - 3 months or so, things were great and there were no problems.  However, about 5 months ago, I was unable to attain an erection one night.  Since then, I have oscillating bouts of what is effectively erectile dysfunction.  For maybe a month or so, I won't have any problems.  Then, for about a week, I will have a string of instances where I won't be able to maintain an erection long enough to have intercourse (even though I am usually able to initially acquire one).  As far as I can tell, this pattern hasn't been accelerating since it's onset; it seems fairly constant.

There are several auxiliary pieces of information that pertain to this problem:

1) I am always able to maintain an erection via masturbation.

2) I am not as sexually aroused by my girlfriend as I was in the first 2-3 months (but isn't this normal?), and I think this does have some part to play in the problem I have.  However, that's not to say that I'm not sexually aroused by her at all.  There are many times that I am very aroused by her.  Usually, during these periods, I can attain and maintain an erection.  But, there are also a few times that I am not as aroused.  There are also a few times (maybe 5% of the time) that I'm not aroused at all.  During these latter instances I usually cannot even attain an erection.

3) The first time I lose an erection in one of these bouts usually makes me very nervous about losing my erection on future occasions; it is this I think that doesn't allow me to maintain an erection the next few times.  In these instances I may be very sexually aroused; but a nagging doubt creeps in and I pretty much instantly lose my erection.  However, what is particularly baffling is that sometimes I have that nagging doubt and I *don't* lose the erection.  This is usually how I'm able to get out of these bouts (otherwise presumably I'd never be able to have an erection with my girlfriend).  I do not know why this happens; the initial sexual desire seems about the same.  Furthermore, there have been a couple of occasions where I had an erection, didn't have any nagging doubts, was very aroused, and yet still lost the erection.  There was one instance where I didn't even realize it at first: I thought I still had an erection.

4) Many times I feel a sense of lethargy right after I lose my erection (but not before I acquire it).  This makes it very hard to reacquire an erection for very long (although I have been able to do it a couple of times).

Does anyone know what is going on?  I'm pretty sure most of it is psychological based on the anxiety I feel and the varying degrees of attraction I feel for my girlfriend at that point in time; yet there are enough exceptions to this that make me feel like it might be in part physiological.

Are there any solutions?  I'd be interested to some extant in medications like Viagra, but I'm guessing most doctors wouldn't prescribe it to me as I'm both young (25) and can maintain an erection while masturbating.  However, I don't think that would rule out its effectiveness; it may be that I have a mild form of erectile dysfunction that only reaches threshhold on a few rare occasions or when I feel anxious.  I am also open to solutions to the psychological side.


Thank you.

[THE_FRENCH]

SAme thing has happened to me and i am only 18 i was perfect before but now i cant stop thinking i will lose even during masturbation i think about it and i go soft is there a problem what should i do

[thebetrayedone]

I would venture to guess that physiologically you are 100% fine.  The fact that the majority of the time you can have sex means you are alright and probably just your average joe.  

You may want to monitor when and how frequently you masturbate in relation to  the times you find you cannot find an erection.  Too much masturbation is a common cause of ED.

Another thing you may want to consider is the fact that you've been with the same woman for a while now.  It may just be you are maturing in the relationship and naturally don't have as strong a sex drive.  Do not fret over that, my wife and I had sex twice a day for the first few months we got together, and eventually it is now a few times a week.  Finally, it could be ancillary stresses - big city life, school, job, family issues, etc. which can be causing you to momentarily lose the moment.  

I wouldn't worry about it = the short answer.