This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.
I met my current gf 6 mnths ago. We had different life styles growing up sexually and relationships. I stayed in 7 yr relationship with my ex. Since the break up i had one night stand, couple dating here and there nothing lengthy, and then her. In that span from 7yr GF to couple dating/gf in-between i was cheated on 3 times, one of which by the 7yr girl. I have a terrible sense of abandonment (from past mother issues) and now from relationships.
On her end she has had 1 lengthy relationship being 8 months. The other few real relationships being labeled a "bf and gf" last weeks. Everything in-between up until her being 28 yrs of age have been in casual dating, multi sex partners and one night stands. She said she has been trying for yrs to seriously date but she is picky and none of the men she meet are to her standards for a real relationship.
Which leads me to my problems....over these yrs she has become accustom to speaking, text men a lot, and thinks nothing of it. When she became official with me she would still receive text from men being subtle yet forward with comments (men acting in this way), and in my eyes its men trying to "get it in" as most men do and don’t care if they are taken or not. She says she doesn’t see it and they are all just friends. To her that may be the case but as a man i think i know better...at her last job as a flight attendant she would exchange numbers with men and get into contact with men for work related questions help etc. where they would be together sometimes on trips it was good to keep your co workers numbers i guess, yes woman too but the men to woman ratio def leaned in the men department. She said it just so happen to be men, that it is a coincidence.
Her new line of work and in training (which i am with her per her request to move out with her )and it is highly dominated by men, by a lot. She is in study groups with men, exchanging numbers with men all the time, there are women here as well but the only ones who will send a text to be funny etc are the men. She says they know i have a bf "i" have met them and most have gf's. Then why is the females not texting as much or at all? Why is it always men? Is this normal to get text from men all the time work/ school/ and sometimes non related and not from women in the same way? Wouldn’t you talk to the women via text more then the men? Am i wrong in thinking all men just want to sleep with anyone given the chance taken or not?
I know i have some serious trust issues and always want to see who is texting her and she always would let me look, i have all her passwords, she let me in to her past by me asking about it. Thats the ONLY reason i know about her past. She says she loves me very much and tells me that all the time. She has been very patient with me through all this me causing problems at home having emotional meltdowns of fear to be left .....again. I am at the end of the rope and dont know what i can do to stop this irrational fear...and want to know if these thoughts are irrational based upon what i have explained. I just want to fix all this one way or another.
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