Anal sex with a large penis

My question is whether an really large penis can permanently damage the internals of the receptive person.  

However I have had a steady partner for 2 years who had an extremely large penis, I would say over 10 inches.  He always used a condom.  He was always very gentle, used abundant lubricant and would always stop at the hint of any discomfort I had.  I was quite amazed that with certain limitations I could accept his whole penis in my anus.  

Now however, I am having ireggularities and constipation in my bowels for an extended period of time.  I have ceased having sex with this large individual for the past 6 months.  I have had a full colonscopy with no apparent findings (although I was too embarrassed to specifically tell the Dr doing the colonoscopy that I have had anal sex in the past).  Is it possible that a large penis when inserted gently without pain can still do damage and not be revealed in a colonoscopy?  I noticed after have sex with him that it would take a number of days before I could have a normal bowel movement.  This never occurred when i had anal sex with smaller sized men.

[Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D.]

It is possible that constipation might occur with a large penis impacting fecal materials over a period of time-- but I don't know why you would be having irregularities and constipation long after the man was out of your life. I know its embaressing to talk about this with a doctor- but I think you should. There is probably some other reason for continuing constitpation, etc that does not relate back to your sex life- but the doctor should have all the facts so he can make a diagnosis. Believe me, doctors have heard everything- and anal sex is not rare.  He or she needs to know what you have been doing just to give you better medical attention and analysis. I am not a medical doctor so I don't know what other kind of compliations could occur. I do know that anal sex can cause temporary constipation but I think something else may be going on that is causing your continuing problems.  In any case, go see a doctor to see if there is any medical information about your specific situation.

[pertykitty]

even if embaressing, you need to be honest with your dr. he cant properly diagnose if he doesnt know right? good luck!

[surfergirl602]

just remember that the longer the penis, the further everything gets rammed up in there.....

[monkeyflower]

I think it's certainly safe to say that if it didn't hurt during anal, then he didn't do any damage. Therefore, whatever's going on now has nothing to do with your previous anal experiences. However, you should still never be afraid to tell your doctor anything...

I would highly recommend reading "Anal Pleasure and Health" by Jack Morin. It is definitely the anal bible--everything you wanted to know about your anus and then some :-)

[readyfreddy]

thanks for all of your comments.  I have just ordered the book you mentioned.

[Trialanderror]

I can imagine there could be nerve damage that hinders the usual feeling of "having to go". I`m only guessing but giving birth did that to me temporarily just by squishing the colon.

[monkeyflower]

There are a lot of misconceptions about anal in general (even among doctors, sex therapists, etc.), so I just wanted to follow up on this. It's true that your anus is relatively delicate and fairly easily torn (tiny tears/fissures--not talking about rupturing something, lol). However, if you're relaxed, you can probably take more than you realize. Some people are really into anal fisting and anal stretching in general, and suffer no resulting damage--and a fist or some of the huge butt plugs I've seen are a lot bigger than any penis I've ever seen ;-) You would just be amazed at how much your body can adapt to. The key is to use lots and lots of lube, go slow, and stop doing (whatever) if you feel pain. That's why numbing creams are such a horrible idea for anal sex. Pain is your body's way of telling you something is wrong.

T&E: I'm guessing that you experienced some pain during childbirth ;-) Any trauma to the anus that could lead to nerve damage would be equally obvious and painful.

[pertykitty]

i just cant imagine what would make a person want a fist up their butt or someone wanting to!

[Trialanderror]

Quite right, MF... Mind you, during childbirth it is hard to tell where any pain is coming from. When you are delivering a pumpkim through a keyhole, there is no more feeling for anal or vaginal. It is all madness with a happy ending.
And PK, some people like to get hemmorhoids, I guess.

[monkeyflower]

Well, I'm a sex educator, and I've done an enormous amount of research. Plus I'm interested in all things medical.

Unfortunately, you've touched on one of my major pet peeves. The whole concept of trapping fecal matter and building up toxic material in your intestines is absolute nonsense. I think you might be imagining your intestines are like a stopped-up pipe, where material has collected on the inner walls, slowing down the drain. But that isn't how it works. Anything you push back in is going to come out with the rest.

I would suggest you read the book I suggested previously, Anal Pleasure and Health. I would also suggest you do some reading on the process of digestion. Not from the perspective of those who believe in colonics and that kind of quack stuff (and it is pure, unadulterated quackery), but from actual medical sites/books.

And back to the actual topic: it's fine if you don't like anal; it's definitely not for everyone. But don't discount it as unhealthy for everyone just because it doesn't appeal to you.

[kenziesmom]

Wow.  I didn't know we had an anal sex educator on the forum.  Heck, I didn't know one could be an anal sex educator.  Seriously, I aplogize if I stepped on toes with this one.  You seem to have a lot of knowledge on the topic.  I will give credit where credit is due.  I will NEVER have experience in this area.

I do, however, disagree with your comment about whatever comes in must come out.  That may be true with your area of expertise, but not always with fecal matter.  My mother died at a young age from colon/rectal cancer.  I remember for years, she had difficulty going to the bathroom.  She would be constipated for weeks at a time.  When they removed her rectum and part of her colon, they found toxic, fecal matter built up inside.  If a digestive system is unregulated, it can cause all kinds of havoc.  No, I am not a doctor, nor do I claim to know it all.  I have researched a lot of health issues, and truly stand by this.    
You also mentioned that things like colonics are quackery.  I do agree that some people are looking to make a quick buck off of poor souls who want so desperately to find a healthy cure.  There ARE many alternative health practitioners who are legitimate though, and who have the best interest of their patients in mind.  Many herbal remedies have been used for centuries with researched and documented positive effects.  If you wish others to be open minded about the joys of anal pleasure, please reciprocate and be open minded about health practices you may not follow.  

[bookerswife]

I work for a cancer center and anal sex can burst blood vessels and cause some serious complications! A lot of our colon cancer patients are gay men... and one of the questions that we ask as a screen when we see new patients that are being seen for colon cancer asks the if they repeatedly have had anal sex. A lot of the women answer yes! It is a great big opening for HIV! Thanks but no thanks... if my coochie isn't good enough for my DH anymore.... exit left! Good thing I have one of those DH's that thinks it is absolutely gross to have anal sex!

[PGB]

"EXIT ONLY"

[kenziesmom]

You mean a CANCER CENTER believes that anal sex may be unhealthy?  I guess that would count as a medical site.  Hmmm...  Do you think THEY know what they are talking about, MonkeyFlower?

[monkeyflower]

Well, working in a cancer center doesn't automatically make you an expert on cancer risks. A lot depends on your job, training, openness, etc. However, "It is a great big opening for HIV," is true for several reasons. And if you contract a high-risk strain of HPV anally, that can cause anal cancer, which may be one of the reasons they ask about anal sex. There can also be trauma to the anus if you're not careful, such as fissures (as previously noted), and it can be painful if you're not relaxed and/or inexperienced. But anal sex itself certainly does NOT cause colon cancer. It does not cause impacted feces or whatever else you think.

I am so sorry your mother died from colon cancer; that can be a long and excruciatingly painful process for everyone involved. It must have been very hard for you to see this. But it is completely irrelevant to the question of whether anal sex is good or bad for you.

And whether you feel comfortable with anal is also irrelevant. The fact is, when done right (i.e. with no pain, lots of lube, condoms, etc.), anal sex is fine. But I'm not going to try to convince you further. You're welcome to disagree; certainly plenty of people do. Some doctors, even--medical opinion is obviously influenced by their own personal beliefs. So if you're interested in pursuing this further, you can do the research; there's plenty of it out there. But in the meantime, please don't give people obviously inaccurate, opinion-driven advice.

[kenziesmom]

Listen, I never dreamed I would debate with someone about anal sex, nor did I want to have the original poster's thread hijacked.  I think we need to agree to disagree about this. As you have stated to me: "please don't give people obviously inaccurate, opinion-driven advice," I am going to say the same to you.  You have based your opinions pro anal sex on research and books, as I have based my opinions anti anal sex on research and books.  Somebody working at a cancer center may be a credible source for information, and I don't think it is your right to discredit what they have to say.  She wasn't claiming to be an expert.  You are the only one that seems to think you know everything there is to know about the topic.  For some reason, you have a strong passion for and are very defensive about what goes in and out of the rectum.  That is your skeleton in the closet.
And the only reason I brought my mother's cancer into the situation is because she did have digestive irregularities.  I was not saying that she got cancer from anal sex, but was merely discrediting what you said about "The whole concept of trapping fecal matter and building up toxic material in your intestines is absolute nonsense."  Fecal matter that is trapped in the colon has been proven to be a risk factor for colon cancer.  
Also, I don't think it was your place to tell the poster : " whatever's going on now has nothing to do with your previous anal experiences."  That is YOUR opinion.

[Trialanderror]

I have never read any anal sex instructions as I am so old-fashioned that I would never join body parts that mix creation of life with digestion of food. Thus I may be ignorant to the secret pleasures for a woman. What strikes me as obvious, though, is that it is mostly men who like to talk the female into this experience without females being too keen on it. Many just play that game to appear raunchier than the latest porn movie star their guy has seen. Guys, I don`t know what to think. On one hand we worry about E-coli on food or antibiotic resistant super bugs that enter through tiniest injuries, on the other hand nobody seems to care about fecal bacteria in the blood stream. Just think it`s a man-made bad idea.

[bookerswife]

Thanks Kenziesmom! You are absolutely correct... I am not an expert but I do believe that a doctor that has been working with cancer patients for over 25 years might be pretty damn close to an expert! So I would listen to him way more than I would take your advice! You are right some people love having anal sex and "anal fisting".... people like having sex w/out condoms with people they don't know! I don't care if you discredit what I say! I know that not every person who has anal sex will get cancer... just like not every person that smokes will get cancer either. But why risk it?  It is just a personal choice. If you choose to do it... that is your choice! I will not look down on you what so ever! But if you need a doctor... just let me know!

[bookerswife]

Anal sex is considered to be the most dangerous of sexual activities.[8] This practice exposes the participants to a number of hazards. These are of two kinds: infections, due to the high number of infectious microorganisms not found elsewhere on the body, and physical damage to the anus and the rectum due to their vulnerability. Inexperienced individuals can also find it painful.[9]


[edit] Infectious diseases
Among the diseases with which anal sex is associated are HIV[10], anal cancer[11], typhoid fever[7] and various diseases associated with the infectious nature of fecal matter or sexual intercourse in general. Among these are: Amoebiasis; Chlamydia; Cryptosporidiosis; Giardiasis; Gonorrhea; Hepatitis A; Hepatitis B; Hepatitis C; Herpes simplex; Human papillomavirus; Lymphogranuloma venereum; Pubic lice; Salmonellosis; Shigella; Syphilis; Tuberculosis. [12][13][14]


[edit] HIV/AIDS
The high concentration of white blood cells around the rectum, together with the risk of cuts to the rectum and that one of the functions of the rectum is to absorb fluid, increases the risk of HIV transmission because the HIV retrovirus reproduces within the immune system's T-cells/CD4 cells. Use of condoms and other precautions are a medically recommended way to lessen risk of infections. Unprotected receptive anal sex is the most risky sexual behavior in terms of HIV transmission [15][16][17].


[edit] Physical damage
Physical damage to the rectum and anus can manifest as generalized ano-rectal trauma, hemorrhoids, anal fissures[18], anal fistula and rectal prolapse.


[edit] Incontinence
Incontinence has also been reported, the result of the anal sphincter losing its tonus.[8] A 1993 study published in the Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine found that 35% of individuals receiving anal intercourse experienced episodes of frequent anal incontinence.[9] Though this study has been used by some to impute incontinence as a characteristic of male homosexuals, this is held to be a mistaken interpretation, as the conclusions of the study were contingent on the activity rather than on sexual orientation.[10]




THIS IS FROM THE WIKIPEDIA ENCYCLOPEDIA!

[neveragainunprotected]

exit only?

[PGB]

EXACTLY...if it were meant to be any other way, would there be 2 of them??