This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.
I am 24. And have a little bit of an issue im able to get an erection but no matter how long the sexual activity in unable to reach an orgasm or ejaculate. Now it's hot and humid does this have anything to do with it??? Please help......
Heat and humidity are probably not a problem, unless you're having sex outside where it's hot. However, you may need more stimulation during penis-vagina sex (p-v), or you may need to delay p-v until you’re very, very turned on. I’m also wondering how aroused you are by your partner(s). You could be bored with this person--or persons, or perhaps the relationship--or relationships isn’t (or aren't) satisfying to you.
There could be other reasons you’re not turned on: Men receive so many messages that sex is about “performance” and pleasing a partner, rather than just enjoying the pleasure of it. Everything is goal-oriented—like a football game. The other message that many men receive is that sex is somehow dirty and wrong, unless you’re doing it for reproductive purposes. Sometimes this can creep into our unconscious thoughts and sabotage any pleasure. Some men are very affected by cultural or family messages that unmarried women who have sex are somehow “dirty” or evil.
So, to recap: you may have negative attitudes about sex in general, or you may have performance issues or be bored or frustrated. Either way, it’s easy to get trapped in a cycle of trying too hard, which, in turn, just leads to more stress. Think about the issues I’ve raised and see if any are true for you. Remember not to put pressure on yourself. Just relax and enjoy whatever pleasurable feelings arise when you’re touched by your partner. Another thing that might help you is to get some accurate information about male sexuality. I highly recommend the book “The New Male Sexuality,” by Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D., widely available online both used and in paperback. This book has helped thousands of men to better understand themselves. Good luck! Dr. J
I'm going to assume that you probably masturbate frequently and/or watch alot of pornography. If so, try cutting that out for a few days. You may notice sex is more enjoyable and you will orgasm without trying.
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