Is it normal to not "***" from oral sex?

[Aimee514]

My boyfriend doesn't *** from oral sex. He says he never has, but it makes me feel like maybe I'm not doing something right, he always enjoys it tho. We have a great sex life, we're comfortable with eachother. He just doesn't *** from oral and I don't know why.
My question is, is this normal?? Should I be worried?? Is there anything I can do to help?? Like a trick I should try or a technique I don't know about. Any suggestions would be much appreciated :)

[Janice M Epp, PhD]

Hi Aimee

First of all, there’s no such thing as “normal” when it comes to sex. Whatever you and your boyfriend enjoy is what’s “normal” for you. I think what you’re really asking is whether the fact that your boyfriend doesn’t orgasm from oral stimulation means something negative about you. Be assured it probably doesn’t.

Many men find that they don’t get strong enough stimulation from a mouth on their penis. It feels good; it’s just not what they need. And so what? Do you get strong enough stimulation to orgasm from everything your bf does? Of course not. It’s no reflection on him; merely your anatomy. So stop worrying—and please don’t put any pressure on him to orgasm this way. Enjoy what the two of you have, and don’t look for things to worry about.

Here’s some information for you about oral sex and men: Most people think that going down on a man isn’t quite as complicated as going down on a woman, since his penis is right there, in your face (as it were). As in all aspects of sex, there is no one-size-fits-all technique. In other words, having his penis sucked on as though it were a popsicle may or may not be what drives your particular guy (or guys) crazy.

Here are some things you can do when giving oral sex to a man; but please, before trying them, check in with him about his preferences or whether he’s willing to be experimental and let you just go ahead and have your way with him.

• Caress his penis with one or both hands, with your breasts, or with any other parts of your body
• Lick his entire penis like an ice cream cone
• Lick the underside of his penis from the base to the tip
• Run your tongue under his coronal ridge (the bottom ridge of the helmet)
• Lick, caress or even tickle his testicles
• Use both hands while using your mouth (this will also help you control the depth of penetration)
• Pinch, twist or stroke his nipples
• Caress his anus—if he’s willing, try inserting a well-lubricated finger inside

Remember to keep a bit of saliva in your mouth while you’re giving oral sex. You don’t need a lot, and this will help supply a natural lubricant. And, again, please don't expect that he'll have an orgasm. He may love what you're doing, but it just doesn't send him over the edge. Have fun and play safe. Good luck! Dr. J

[gagootza]

i was married for 9 years and never climaxed from oral sex.my first time was in 1989 with a girl whom i loved deeply.sometimes if you don't care enough about a person that prevent you from having a climax during oral sex.or he may be trying too hard.he's trying to make it happen but what ehe really needs to do is relax and let his body make it happen.theres nothing wrong with you.i love oral sex more than anything but it just wouldn't happen untill i met the right person .i've only had three women in my ifetime make it happen and i'm 61 years old.when he gets to the point where he can't get enough of you because he loves you so much it will happen.now i'm not saying all men are that way.good luck and i hope i was of some help to you

[larbec7]

I can tell you what works well for me.  While my wife is sucking on my penis she also strokes it with the same rhythm and sometimes harder and that normally works well.  Also, I know when I am the horniest and if I am at the point during the day and she gives me oral, well...I am ready to c u m.