This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.
I have no sex drive or desire or at least it is very low. My dr did give me Levitrabut it does not seem to work. My relationship is suffering badly from this problem. I am 55. Is my sex life suppose to be over already. I do not understand what is happening to me. I still think about sex but the act itself is impossible. No real desire and no erection. This is not good. I am about to be alone. It probably does not help that my wife is 12 years younger than me. Is there anything i can do or am I doomed?
Levitra is an anti-depressant. If you've been diagnosed with depression, that could be interfering with your sexual desire. Indeed, Levitra can affect both desire and erection. You need to see a psychiatrist who is trained in sexual side effects of various medications in order to investigate whether there's an alternative anti-depressant with no sexual side effects that will work for you.
I’m wondering what you mean when you say you've lost your desire. When did this happen? Is it recent, or has it been building for awhile. Are you tired? Do you work hard? Are you stressed? All these can affect our desire and/or physical ability to be sexual. Certainly a man in his 50’s may, indeed, be tired and stressed. It’s not unusual at all for sexual frequency to drop off in our 40’s or 50’s, since our stamina isn’t the same as when we’re younger. Maybe when you’re young, you can run a marathon, but once you get a bit older, you might be satisfied with running a mile or so. It doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy what you do—you just need to make adjustments.
And, of course, there are numerous other factors that can affect sexual desire--such as relationship issues (any unresolved conflicts?), your wife's attitude/behavior (does she treat you as desirable? Has her appearance/demeanor changed?), and your attitudes about sexuality
Sex isn't over when you're 55. In fact, it isn't over until you join your ancestors. We sexologists have a saying: "use it, or lose it," meaning as long as you're sexual, thinking sexual thoughts and thinking of yourself as a sexual being, you can have great sex. Oh, it might be different than the sex you had when you were 30, but it can be just as hot, fun and satisfying. It's all about your attitude. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
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