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Oral contraceptives and libido supplements
Studies have shown that oral contraceptives decrease a woman's sex drive because they effect certain hormones. Can I take "natural" libido supplements to enhance my sex drive while I continue to take the pill? Will the supplements reverse the effect of the contraceptive on my hormones and pose a greater threat for conception?
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Hi.
It's not unheard of for oral contraceptives to inhibit desire, but it's unlikely. Sounds like you're expecting to have orgasms from penis-vagina sex, and that may be what's bothering you. Here's some information:
Most of us learn about women’s orgasms from movies, TV and books. You know: the perfect, romantic, spontaneous, simultaneous, earth-moving Big O. We’re supposed to orgasm from 2 minutes of penis-vagina sex in the missionary position in the dark with a partner who is clueless. So we put this pressure on ourselves and are mostly disappointed when it doesn’t happen.
Here’s the reality: In women, the clitoris must be stimulated—either directly or indirectly—in order for orgasm to happen. The clitoris is our primary sex organ--not the vagina--and consists of the glans (or head), the hood which covers the glans, and the shaft. Most women do not orgasm from penis-vagina sex alone, so please don't put pressure on yourself to do so.
For most women, orgasm results from a constant circular motion around the shaft and glans. Also important to know is that once a woman’s orgasm begins, if the stimulation is removed, the orgasm will end. Orgasm is characterized by a series of pleasurable, involuntary contractions in and around the vulva (clitoris, vagina and inner/outer lips). Most women have between 5 and 8 contractions per orgasm.
It takes time and practice to learn about your own orgasms before you share them with a partner, and it's important that you “own” your orgasm fully and not let someone else define how you should be responding. The best way to find out what you like is to experiment when you’re alone. Check out the area around your clitoris first. Be sure to use some lubrication and gently touch around the top and sides to find out what feels good. You may need to do this many times before you get comfortable and used to the intensity. Find the sensitive spots that feel good. The best part of this learning experience is that it’s fun!
Once you understand your own body’s responses, then you can begin to share them with a partner—even more fun! Be patient. It takes time to learn and to build up trust, but if you do this now, you’ll be setting yourself up for yummy sex for the rest of your life. I highly recommend the book, "For Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality," by Lonnie Barbach. It's widely available in paperback, and is a step-by-step program for learning about your own sexual response. In addition, it contains lots of sharing by women about their own personal journeys of sexual self-discovery. I think it will help you immensely.
And one final word about orgasms: They last about 10 seconds, and yet we put so much value on them. Besides orgasm, there are lots of pleasurable things to enjoy during sex--whether it's with yourself or with a partner. So please don't focus solely on orgasm. If you put that kind of pressure on yourself, it becomes a "job" instead of fun. And sex can be lots of fun if you relax and enjoy all the sensations. Sex is a grand buffet of wonderful dishes. If you focus on only one, you'll miss out on all the other wonderful flavors. Good luck! Dr. J
It's not unheard of for oral contraceptives to inhibit desire, but it's unlikely. Sounds like you're expecting to have orgasms from penis-vagina sex, and that may be what's bothering you. Here's some information:
Most of us learn about women’s orgasms from movies, TV and books. You know: the perfect, romantic, spontaneous, simultaneous, earth-moving Big O. We’re supposed to orgasm from 2 minutes of penis-vagina sex in the missionary position in the dark with a partner who is clueless. So we put this pressure on ourselves and are mostly disappointed when it doesn’t happen.
Here’s the reality: In women, the clitoris must be stimulated—either directly or indirectly—in order for orgasm to happen. The clitoris is our primary sex organ--not the vagina--and consists of the glans (or head), the hood which covers the glans, and the shaft. Most women do not orgasm from penis-vagina sex alone, so please don't put pressure on yourself to do so.
For most women, orgasm results from a constant circular motion around the shaft and glans. Also important to know is that once a woman’s orgasm begins, if the stimulation is removed, the orgasm will end. Orgasm is characterized by a series of pleasurable, involuntary contractions in and around the vulva (clitoris, vagina and inner/outer lips). Most women have between 5 and 8 contractions per orgasm.
It takes time and practice to learn about your own orgasms before you share them with a partner, and it's important that you “own” your orgasm fully and not let someone else define how you should be responding. The best way to find out what you like is to experiment when you’re alone. Check out the area around your clitoris first. Be sure to use some lubrication and gently touch around the top and sides to find out what feels good. You may need to do this many times before you get comfortable and used to the intensity. Find the sensitive spots that feel good. The best part of this learning experience is that it’s fun!
Once you understand your own body’s responses, then you can begin to share them with a partner—even more fun! Be patient. It takes time to learn and to build up trust, but if you do this now, you’ll be setting yourself up for yummy sex for the rest of your life. I highly recommend the book, "For Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality," by Lonnie Barbach. It's widely available in paperback, and is a step-by-step program for learning about your own sexual response. In addition, it contains lots of sharing by women about their own personal journeys of sexual self-discovery. I think it will help you immensely.
And one final word about orgasms: They last about 10 seconds, and yet we put so much value on them. Besides orgasm, there are lots of pleasurable things to enjoy during sex--whether it's with yourself or with a partner. So please don't focus solely on orgasm. If you put that kind of pressure on yourself, it becomes a "job" instead of fun. And sex can be lots of fun if you relax and enjoy all the sensations. Sex is a grand buffet of wonderful dishes. If you focus on only one, you'll miss out on all the other wonderful flavors. Good luck! Dr. J
Hi Dr. J. Thank you for your reply. I guess I should have given more information about myself, because I realize that there are many reasons for a woman to experience low sex drive. I am 23 and was married 6 months ago to a man I have been with for 6.5 years. We waited for intercourse until we were married, so it has always been fun and new for us. I am very happy with my husband and my life. We have excellent communication, and we discuss what we like and what we don't like about sex. We have tried a variety of positions, so there is definitely no boredom.
Ever since I can remember, I have had a very healthy appetite for sexual activity, but many times I have trouble reaching orgasm. I have been on monophasic birth control pills for 9 months. I didn't seem to experience any negative side effects, but lately I do have a lower libido, and I can't seem to figure out the reason. We have sex about 6 times a week, but it's harder for me climax with a lower drive. I just wanted to be clear that I can't find any negative libido contributors in my life, so my birth control was the only thing left to blame.
I appreciate your comments and advice. I may choose to seek another pill, but my current brand seems to be great for my body (except for the potential libido loss). Please write if you have any further insight.
Thanks again. Lynger.
Ever since I can remember, I have had a very healthy appetite for sexual activity, but many times I have trouble reaching orgasm. I have been on monophasic birth control pills for 9 months. I didn't seem to experience any negative side effects, but lately I do have a lower libido, and I can't seem to figure out the reason. We have sex about 6 times a week, but it's harder for me climax with a lower drive. I just wanted to be clear that I can't find any negative libido contributors in my life, so my birth control was the only thing left to blame.
I appreciate your comments and advice. I may choose to seek another pill, but my current brand seems to be great for my body (except for the potential libido loss). Please write if you have any further insight.
Thanks again. Lynger.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Hi.
I don't' know what "studies" you've read, but this is misinformation. First of all, there are around 200 different types of oral contraceptives available, each with a different formulation of hormones. Secondly, every woman's body reacts differently to these medications. It's not a "given" that oral contraceptives have affected your sexual desire.
It sounds to me as though you're going through a period of low sexual desire. Certainly, some women find certain oral contraceptives to have side effects. If you want to determine whether your particular pill has affected you, ask your gynecologist to switch you to another formulation and see if this helps.
The FDA has not found any of these so-called "natural" supplements to be effective. Think about it: if there WERE a pill that could increase your desire, it would be all over the news as well as approved by the FDA. They're ineffective placebos.
Here's some general information about sexual desire:
If you’re interested in sex, but feel no desire to actually be sexual with others—then perhaps you haven’t come across anything that turns you on at this point in your life. That’s understandable. We often go through periods where our desires may take a break. Another possibility is that you’re not currently seeing anyone who turns you on. It may be helpful for you to take an inventory of characteristics that you find attractive or interesting. Are you seeing anyone who has any of those qualities, or are you feeling like you SHOULD be turned on regardless? You’re not going to get pizza by hanging out at a steak restaurant.
And, of course, many other factors can influence desire. You might also examine what else has been happening in your life that may have affected you. Are you content with yourself, with your life, with your relationships? Are there any family or work crises? And how’s your physical health? There are numerous medical conditions that can also contribute to lack of desire.
Are you anxious around potential sex partners? Be aware that anxiety is the enemy of good sex. If you’re feeling anxious or unsure of yourself, your desire for sex will be affected. Or you may have conflicting feelings about being sexual, based on earlier issues in your life. Or you may actually FEEL desire, but suppress it, due to feeling conflicted. Are you aware of any reasons you may have for avoiding sex with others? Do you have a partner who is trustworthy, or do you have some unresolved issues with your partner?
One very destructive message that some women receive is that sex is somehow dirty and wrong, unless you’re doing it for reproductive purposes. Sometimes this can creep into our unconscious thoughts and sabotage any pleasure. Some women are very affected by cultural or family messages that unmarried women who have sex are somehow “dirty” or evil.
So, to recap: you may have negative attitudes about sex in general, or you may have performance issues or be bored or frustrated. Think about the issues I’ve raised and see if any are true for you. Remember not to put pressure on yourself. I’m wondering what YOU think is contributing to this and whether you’ve taken any actions to try to change it. You’ve probably got more insight than you realize. Good luck to you. Dr. J
I don't' know what "studies" you've read, but this is misinformation. First of all, there are around 200 different types of oral contraceptives available, each with a different formulation of hormones. Secondly, every woman's body reacts differently to these medications. It's not a "given" that oral contraceptives have affected your sexual desire.
It sounds to me as though you're going through a period of low sexual desire. Certainly, some women find certain oral contraceptives to have side effects. If you want to determine whether your particular pill has affected you, ask your gynecologist to switch you to another formulation and see if this helps.
The FDA has not found any of these so-called "natural" supplements to be effective. Think about it: if there WERE a pill that could increase your desire, it would be all over the news as well as approved by the FDA. They're ineffective placebos.
Here's some general information about sexual desire:
If you’re interested in sex, but feel no desire to actually be sexual with others—then perhaps you haven’t come across anything that turns you on at this point in your life. That’s understandable. We often go through periods where our desires may take a break. Another possibility is that you’re not currently seeing anyone who turns you on. It may be helpful for you to take an inventory of characteristics that you find attractive or interesting. Are you seeing anyone who has any of those qualities, or are you feeling like you SHOULD be turned on regardless? You’re not going to get pizza by hanging out at a steak restaurant.
And, of course, many other factors can influence desire. You might also examine what else has been happening in your life that may have affected you. Are you content with yourself, with your life, with your relationships? Are there any family or work crises? And how’s your physical health? There are numerous medical conditions that can also contribute to lack of desire.
Are you anxious around potential sex partners? Be aware that anxiety is the enemy of good sex. If you’re feeling anxious or unsure of yourself, your desire for sex will be affected. Or you may have conflicting feelings about being sexual, based on earlier issues in your life. Or you may actually FEEL desire, but suppress it, due to feeling conflicted. Are you aware of any reasons you may have for avoiding sex with others? Do you have a partner who is trustworthy, or do you have some unresolved issues with your partner?
One very destructive message that some women receive is that sex is somehow dirty and wrong, unless you’re doing it for reproductive purposes. Sometimes this can creep into our unconscious thoughts and sabotage any pleasure. Some women are very affected by cultural or family messages that unmarried women who have sex are somehow “dirty” or evil.
So, to recap: you may have negative attitudes about sex in general, or you may have performance issues or be bored or frustrated. Think about the issues I’ve raised and see if any are true for you. Remember not to put pressure on yourself. I’m wondering what YOU think is contributing to this and whether you’ve taken any actions to try to change it. You’ve probably got more insight than you realize. Good luck to you. Dr. J
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