This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.
hi, i posted this in the regular forums before i realized there was a "doctor's section" so i decided to repost it here. anyway, here is my question:
I lost my virginity to my boyfriend about 4 months ago and am physically comfortable with sex, but i am just concerned because the other night my boyfriend tells me that i'm not as tight as i use to be. i now feel self concious because i'm only 19 and have been with one person and i am worried that i'm already "stretched out." i was just wondering if it was possible for your vagina to become stretched out after deep/rough sex or if your partner is large and if so is there a way to fix it and become tighter? thanks
First of all, just for the record- I think your boyfriend is a creep. Why is he saying things that could hurt you or make you worry? He obviously has no feelings for his impact on you. It's all about him. He is feeling that its a little bit less tight and so he's complaining!
As for being "not as tight". Well, sure, a bit. You are not a virgin and the muscles can relax some... But not a lot. That usually doesn't happen , if it happens at all, until after child birth. So, he is probably getting a little less resistance when his penis goes in because you have had sex, but not much.
Of course the problem could be that he has a teenie penis and that's why it doesnt feel as good to him. Ask him about that!!
I'm not a Dr., but there's no way you're "stretched out". Shame on your BF for telling you something like that. Of course as a virgin you're going to be tighter the first few times. But you're not stretched out now. You're as a normal woman should be.
I'm not trying to be too graphic here...But I've been with women who've been having regular sex for many many years...And it's no different than a girl who's been having sex for 4 months.
As far as something you can do about it? Is this guy a virgin too? If that's the case, I can understand him talking about it, but if not, this guy's a bum. Tell him he doesn't feel as big as he used to and see how he likes it.
There are exercises you can do that will allow you to use the muscles down there to "squeeze" thus making it tighter for him. Google something like "vaginal exercises", I'm sure you'll find tons of creative ways. Supposedly it makes the sex better for you also. I found this to be true for myself. I haven't done this in years, but when I "exercised" my "squeeze muscle" regularly, the orgasms got noticeably stronger and longer. It's supposedly the same for women too...
Seriously, it sounds like the guy is trying to down you a bit. Keep an eye on those types of comments. If he keeps it up, drop him quick. It's a man's way of keeping himself as the one in charge or the superior one in the relationship. By belittling or trying to add little doubts about yourself here and there. Like I said, be aware of it.
thank you so much for replying and giving me a guys perspective. he was not a virgin like i was and he made this comment a few days ago and i'm still kind of stressed about it. after thinking it through for the past few days and reading your reply as well as another member's reply i realize that this was a form of manipulation and belittling and i can not allow it to continue. thanks again! i appreciate it.
i just new member here. u know what a surprised coz i was virginize too 4 months ago. i just got married last year and my husband is the first one touch me. and im kept asking him about my vagina is still tight. he told me if im really so wet i am just regular size but if im not its really so tight .. so all i can say to ur bf is he is so damn. im sorry to tell u this.
just be careful wiht him.. does not true. so dont feel depress and sad.
as what ur friend told u here i just read it .. if he still doing it . keeps him drop quick..
Oh my goodness, the things people will tell you. I am a mother of 5 and a grandmother of 10. Believe me, if you're already stretched out for the short time you've been with him, he must be the size of an elephant. Since he's the only person you've ever been with, you're probably not too familiar with male anatomy. Guys often have this thing with how well endowed they are. I'm sure he'd like to think he's big enough to cause this problem in you, but the fact is that the normal male penis is 5 - 7 inches and can pretty much fit inside of your thumb and index or middle finger when they make a circle. Sometimes they get a little more, sometimes a little less, but that's the average.
If a vagina can stretch to pop out a 10 pound baby (like mine did three of the five times I delivered), it can certainly handle anything he is cabable of dishing out. You'd be surprised how many men feel inferior size-wise after watching something 20 inches long pop out of you. And believe it or not, you can still shrink back to a more than enjoyable size for your partner after doing all of that (even after the fifth one).
The exercises the man was talking about earlier are called the kegle exercises. Basically, you strengthen them every time you tighten down the muscle that stops your urine from coming out. The stronger this muscle is, the tighter you can make your vagina during sex AND the stronger your orgasms will be. It also helps you to keep from getting bladder problems when you get older. You can exercise them any time, not just while going to the bathroom. When you keep them tight during clitoral stimulation, you will continue to become more and more aroused, This can make you wetter (which also means his penis will slide in and out more easily). When you first started having sex, you probably weren't lubricating naturally very much because it was all a new experience to you. Now that you are 'getting the hang of it', your body is probably starting to do that a little more which may be what bf is talking about. If you are dry, you will feel tighter because the skin rubs together as he moves in and out. Think of it like rubbing someone's back with our without oil.
BF's comments show how immature and uneducated he is sexually in this area by making the comments he did. Most guys like to think they know it all, but as you can see, he's not even close on this one. Maybe with all of this information you are learning, you can educate him so he won't be so ignorant the next time he gets with a virgin. Playing devil's advocate, if you care about this guy and you think he make the comments out of 'concern' for what the two of you may have done, then my advice would be to explain all of this to him and continue enjoying what you are doing. If you think he said them to control or hurt you, then you should get out while you can. No one needs that in their life.
please dont let what any man says sexual to you in any form ffect you that way! iv been married for 18 years and have had 3 kids and i will be he first to say size does not matter its weather or not he knows what to do with what he has unless he himself feels less then normal and thats not you but most men would rather say its you then admit maybe he is small and cant please you is more likley the case there is also a thing called a penis enlargment toy u could buy him that may help him out (HAHA) all kidding aside never let anyone put you down and stop it now or it will continue and if you trully love this guy maybe show him all the posts on this site he may change his tune! never keep letting someone degrate you on any level and if you show him you believe this then your asking for him to continue saying hurtfull things that in the end you will resent him for and when that happens is that really love is feeling less then you deserve worth it?
Hi I am a new member and would appreciate it if any of you can help me out. I am 23 years old and had sex for the first time. Me and my boyfriend both love each other very much and I was never pushed into having sex by him; but finally couple of days ago we went further than kissing and making out and we had sex after being together for 3 years. I had alot of pain but he was very understanding, gentle and patient with me during my first time. On the other hand, due to cultural restrictions, I told him that I might not want to have sex anymore until I get married, even if it is going to be with my present boyfriend. Fortunately he totally understands since he's from the same culture. As I said the only reason that I don't want to contiue any sexually activity is due to cultural restrictions and I am worried if it is going to be noticable fthat I had sex (even though it was one time for 5-8 mins)
for my future husband ??? Does the vagina size change alot after the first intercourse, and can a man feel the hymen as they go inside? and how would I know if I still have a hymen?
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