Aa
What is wrong with me?
Alright..so. I am 21 year old. I am in a relationship with a girl that I love for years now(yes I am a lesbian).
We've been taking it slow,as I am a virgin and tried to have sex a couple of times...But it seems impossible
to me. It hurts me so much!! I can put 1 finger inside and it feels so unpleasant and abit painful, putting two
is really painful and the other things (dildos) are not even in question. I don't know why, I love her and I want
to do it with her and no one else...I get really horny and wet but still it does not help and we can't do anything to
fix it. I think it is getting to her and she thinks I don't love her anymore, while I do and I can't explane why it
is happening. I don't know who else to talk to, people I spoke to suggested me to get a guy (-.-') and silly
things like that. Any ideas?
We've been taking it slow,as I am a virgin and tried to have sex a couple of times...But it seems impossible
to me. It hurts me so much!! I can put 1 finger inside and it feels so unpleasant and abit painful, putting two
is really painful and the other things (dildos) are not even in question. I don't know why, I love her and I want
to do it with her and no one else...I get really horny and wet but still it does not help and we can't do anything to
fix it. I think it is getting to her and she thinks I don't love her anymore, while I do and I can't explane why it
is happening. I don't know who else to talk to, people I spoke to suggested me to get a guy (-.-') and silly
things like that. Any ideas?
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Hi Caroline.
So where did you get the idea that sex equals penetration? It seems to me that you're locking yourself into a "there's only one way to have sex" mindset. I mean, the beautiful thing about being with another woman is that there's all kinds of wonderful things you can do sexually with each other. Why focus on penetration? Now, if your girlfriend is inflexible and ONLY wants to do penetration sex, that could be a problem.Why not talk about this with her?
If, indeed, you really feel you MUST get comfortable with penetration, I have a couple of suggestions. First, you may be afraid of penetration because the first time you tried it, it was painful. Now you're anxious and you probably tighten up, making it impossible. So relax and slow things way down. Maybe when you're really turned on, let her put just the tip of her little finger inside you. Once that feels OK, go a little deeper and so on.
If this doesn't work, you may want to consider going to your nearest Planned Parenthood or women's clinic and having an exam to determine whether there's any physiological issue.
And here's a great book for the two of you: "The Joy of Lesbian Sex," by Emily Sisley, widely available online, both used and in paperback. There's lots of information about first-time penetration, as well as many helpful tips. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
So where did you get the idea that sex equals penetration? It seems to me that you're locking yourself into a "there's only one way to have sex" mindset. I mean, the beautiful thing about being with another woman is that there's all kinds of wonderful things you can do sexually with each other. Why focus on penetration? Now, if your girlfriend is inflexible and ONLY wants to do penetration sex, that could be a problem.Why not talk about this with her?
If, indeed, you really feel you MUST get comfortable with penetration, I have a couple of suggestions. First, you may be afraid of penetration because the first time you tried it, it was painful. Now you're anxious and you probably tighten up, making it impossible. So relax and slow things way down. Maybe when you're really turned on, let her put just the tip of her little finger inside you. Once that feels OK, go a little deeper and so on.
If this doesn't work, you may want to consider going to your nearest Planned Parenthood or women's clinic and having an exam to determine whether there's any physiological issue.
And here's a great book for the two of you: "The Joy of Lesbian Sex," by Emily Sisley, widely available online, both used and in paperback. There's lots of information about first-time penetration, as well as many helpful tips. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
@Dr.J I don't know, I guess I feel like I should be doing it, without actually enjoying it. First time I tried it did indeed hurt very very much, I never heard any of my friends sayin it hurts in such way.
@ubustmybubble Well, I tried, and for me it is not as easy, and definitively not normal by what Ive heard from other peoples experience. Its not bearable pain.
@Gotmoxy We do that all the time, and enjoy it a lot, we just wanted to take it on a new level, if you know what I mean.But I feel like I cant have enjoyment from penetration and it worries me.
Thank You for your responses, it has helped me a lot!! :)
@ubustmybubble Well, I tried, and for me it is not as easy, and definitively not normal by what Ive heard from other peoples experience. Its not bearable pain.
@Gotmoxy We do that all the time, and enjoy it a lot, we just wanted to take it on a new level, if you know what I mean.But I feel like I cant have enjoyment from penetration and it worries me.
Thank You for your responses, it has helped me a lot!! :)
What about clitorial stimulation?
I trying to be mean, I think its all in your head. Not that your crazy, but just scared of penetration. Believe it or not a lot women are with women for fear of penetration. Just wait until you are super wet and just do it. It only hurts for a moment, then starts to feel good. All us non-virgin did so can you.
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Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
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