Losing your virginity probably wasn't the reason you got depressed. It was most likely that your first time was just very unfulfilling. I was depressed after my first time too because it wasn't very fulfilling.
Once you have a fulfilling sexual experience with someone you really care about, you'll feel much better.
We all make mistakes and that happens to be yours. The best thing you can do now, is caulk it up as a bad experience. You can not change the past, so now that you know better, just do better from here on out. Letting your past dictate your future can make you very miserable, so try to move on.
Your right the experience was emotionaly hollow. I couldn't even get off!!! So really I'm looking for love more than sex.
Your right the experience was emotionaly hollow. I couldn't even get off!!! So really I'm looking for love more than sex.
Look, you made a decision you now regret to some extent. Look to what you can gain from this. The escort did not give you what you wanted from a sexual encounter-examine what it is you wanted- just to get it over with, the physical feeling or an emotional component. Sex can be a difficult thing on many different levels. Now that you have had this experience, you should take the time think about what you want from a sexual encounter- if this is not fulfilling what is? You will be the one to make that determination- yes many people will say sex without love is nothign and ridicule you for seeing an escort- Please have a tough skin on that- they did not walk in your shoes-moreover, we as humans are not perfect, if these people were to open up we culd all find mistakes thye made- so just take that as one perspective- that maybe you wanted something emotional from it and having had a money for a physical contact encounter did not do it for you-