Hi.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I hear from women who expect to have orgasms from penis-vagina sex (p-v) alone. (I’m assuming that’s what you mean when you refer to “having sex”). Please know that there’s nothing the matter with you.
It’s not surprising that “fingering” isn’t getting you off. In women, the clitoris must be stimulated—either directly or indirectly—in order for orgasm to happen. The vagina, all by itself, is not all that rich with sensory nerve endings. In fact, only the first couple inches of are very sensitive, and they tend to be more responsive to direct stimulation rather than the more general stimulus p-v usually provides. For sure, plenty of women enjoy p-v immensely. From a physical perspective, that feeling of fullness can be nice, and can also provide some stimulation of the clitoris’ internal structure. Some sexual positions -- like women being on top, for instance -- can also provide more direct clitoral stimulation.
A major difference between women and men is that generally, the clitoris needs constant direct or indirect stimulation, unlike the penis. For most women, orgasm results from a constant circular motion around the shaft and glans (or head) of the clitoris. Also important is that once a woman’s orgasm begins, if the stimulation is removed, the orgasm will end. In contrast, once men have that first orgasmic contraction, not even a neutron bomb will stop their orgasm!
While many women enjoy p-v sex, for at least 40-50% of them, it usually doesn’t result in orgasm. Why? Because most p-v sex doesn’t provide the steady pressure and reliable stimulation women need for orgasm. During p-v sex, most men use an “in-out” motion that feels great for them, instead of the circular grinding motion that will stimulate the clitoris.
It takes time and practice to learn about your own orgasms before you share them with a partner. The best way to find out what you like is to experiment when you’re alone. Check out the area around your clitoris first. Be sure to use some lubrication and gently touch around the top and sides to find out what feels good. You may need to do this many times before you get comfortable and used to the intensity. Find the sensitive spots that feel good. The best part of this learning experience is that it’s fun!
Once you understand your own body’s responses, then you can begin to share them with your partner—even more fun! What could be better than experimenting and exploring one another and telling each other what you like? Be patient. It takes time to learn and to build up trust, but if you do this now, you’ll be setting yourself up for yummy sex for the rest of your life. Good luck! Dr. J
Hi, have you ever before and just not with him? Are you on any medications? If you don't mind...how old are you? sometimes that makes a difference
i am 16?
no i was a virgin when i started with him ?
no i am not on medication but i have xmer ( i dnt knw how u spell it ) but its a skin condition its not bad at all i have cream for that but thats not ment to affect my healht or anything in anyway ??
Ok, that helps quite a bit. Since these are your first experiences that is most likely the reason you can't. It's more difficult for a woman to **** than it is a man and not all of us ladies reach that point in the same way... It takes time to learn how your own body works and reacts, so be patient with yourself. So you know, must of us (ladies) don't **** when we first start having sex, but it's common for us to not understand why we don't. If you've ever heard "it's better when your older"...well that's one of the reasons. Take care ....and I must add....whatever you do....be ALWAYS use safe practices (condoms) you want to make sure that when you do get older your illness free (from STDs) so you can really enjoy it for years to come!
thnk you that helped me alot