hey, i understand your situation. i think you are feeling too much concious for performance. just relax and feel the difference. it will come naturally. if your thing erects when alone, it will with your girlfriend too. i m sure of it. try to indulge more in foreplay. it could help.
y u need to masturbate when you can perform great sex with your gf. ask your gf to give you *******, if she agrees. you can masturbate when you really feel aroused. but not as a habit.
try it. it will help..
Hi John
It's obvious that something about being sexual with your gf is causing you anxiety, which is affecting your ability to have erections.
Erections go up and down. You’ll find this happening all your life. It doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy sex, but you have to adjust your attitude and relax. I suspect that the first time your penis didn’t respond on command, you started feeling anxious and judging yourself, which can be a vicious circle. The more you worry about erections, the more your penis won’t cooperate. In fact, it can be downright rebellious!
Many men feel that if their erection goes down even a tiny bit, there’s something wrong with them. Where does this come from?
Men receive so many messages that sex is about “performance” and pleasing a partner, rather than just enjoying the pleasure of it. Everything is goal-oriented—like a football game. The other message that many men receive is that sex is somehow dirty and wrong, unless you’re doing it for reproductive purposes. Sometimes this can creep into our unconscious thoughts and sabotage any pleasure. Ask yourself whether you have any conflicts about being sexual—any old messages that might be lurking in your subconscious. Also ask yourself if there's something about being sexual with this particular partner that might be creating anxiety or discomfort.
Since you’re having erections when not with a partner that indicates that your body is working fine—it’s your heart/brain that’s getting in the way.
For more information about erection issues, attitude, etc., I highly recommend the book “The New Male Sexuality” by Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D. It’s widely available in paperback and is an invaluable resource.
Relax, stop putting pressure on yourself and enjoy sex for what it is: pleasure. Give yourself permission to enjoy whatever happens—and find partners who aren’t hung up on performances issues either. Best of luck to you. Dr. J