This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.
I am 24.I have a big problem in orgasm.Whenever I have sex,when I want to put my ... in her ... I suddenly orgasm.my doctor says it is because of masturbating out of limit,but he can not give me a solution.I think it is early for me to have viagra or something like this.please help me.I am not married yet
First, Viagra improves blood flow to the penis and has no effect on delaying orgasm.
If you read some of the other posts, you’ll discover that this is a very common concern—particularly among younger men. I encourage you to look at some of the other posts so you can see that you’re not alone—and also see how easy it is to learn to last longer if you so desire.
Let me clear up some confusion. Masturbation (self-pleasuring) does not "cause" you to come before you'd like to. However, during their early self-pleasuring experiments, many men learn a very quick orgasm pattern in order to avoid detection—like in the bathroom (“You’ve been in there for hours! What are you doing?”) So if you learned to come quickly when being sexual with yourself, that can also set up a lifelong pattern. Learning to come quickly with a partner can also set up this pattern. Guilt and anxiety about sex may also create a situation where some men just want to get it over with quickly so they won’t have to deal with any of those feelings. And, of course, if you’re focused on “performing,” rather than just enjoying yourself, your penis can become incredibly stubborn and uncooperative.
Once you learn to control your orgasm, realize that each man has an individual orgasmic pattern unique to him. A lot of this anxiety about “premature” ejaculation is based on paranoia, and the idea that it's somehow ideal to have erections last way longer than they tend to realistically for most men, most of the time. Sure, sometimes, a man might last 15 minutes, 30 minutes, even an hour, but 75% of all males have an orgasm within 2 minutes of beginning penis-vagina (p-v) sex. I wonder if you’ve asked your partner how long she would like you to last? Are you thinking that if you last longer, somehow she’ll have an orgasm during p-v sex? The fact is that most women DON’T orgasm during p-v sex. It’s a much more effective way for men to orgasm than women, so please don’t attempt to reach some kind of “orgasmic goal” because you think it will ultimately please her.
That said, here are some techniques for lasting longer:
First, slow down during self-pleasuring and unlearn that old pattern of quick orgasm. Try teasing yourself by stimulating yourself just to the point where you feel you’re about to orgasm, then backing off and relaxing, and then beginning again. This will give you a sense of control as well as teach you to recognize your own point of no return (when you know you're about to have an orgasm, no matter what). Another thing to try is when you feel yourself getting close to orgasm, relax, breathe deeply, and cease movement. Some men also find they last longer if they have an orgasm on their own awhile before beginning partner sex. This tends to take the edge off, if you will.
Once you feel in control of your orgasm, you can also examine whether you have any feelings of discomfort with being sexual—either with yourself or with a partner. These feelings of discomfort can create extreme conflict and cause you to feel the need to get it over with quickly. If you look at sex as something to finish quickly—get it up, get it in, get it off—you’ll need to let go of that old mentality. And naturally, if there are any relationship conflicts or you’re angry or feeling resentful about your partner, these can also contribute to wanting to get it over with. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
Thanks a lot,
Your advises is very useful, I tried these many times ago ,But I didn’t reach any results. These are not useful for me. Because I orgasm in less than 2 minutes from start p-v sex. I mean at the first moment I want to start. I think its very uncommon. I don’t have any chance to start thinking about the other point. I think one reason is that I am very horny. I think my penis is very sensory at the top of it. Whenever something touch the top, it seems to become orgasm. When I use Viagra in first act for sex it is not useful, but it is useful for second and third and….I think I am using these tablets because of this, I mean I can use it for one person at each time and I have a very bad time in first act in p-v action, but in other try its get better.
At last I should apologize for my weakness in typing English, but I hope I could let you understand my words. I am waiting for your reply.
Yes, it's difficult for me to understand your meaning. I THINK you're saying that when you first have penis-vagina sex, you have an orgasm very quickly, but if you then keep going, you last quite a bit longer? This seems like a good option for you. Perhaps it would help you to have an orgasm with self-pleasuring before you're going to be sexual with a partner.
I can't tell you why your penis is sensitive; however, if you look at the issues I raised above, maybe one of them is true for you. It sounds to me like you're very anxious and worried, which just makes it that much more difficult for you to enjoy yourself. Dr. J
you answe me kindly and thank for it.
My first p-v action is very bad and I dont have even alittle chance for thinking about anything.If i can solve my problem in first action I solve my disease at all.I dont have any desire for about 15 minutes If i masturbate before have sex with my partner and as you know after 15 minutes all things get into its first situation and I dont have any succeed.I use viagra because of this.I used sildnafil,viagra,sertrazin,and some other tablets.but there werent useful for me.when I feel I orgasm,I keep myself hard and prevent to orgasm,then my penis is weak and I cant do anything with my partner,I dont want to be embbarrase.I use viagra because of this.I will do anything you advice .
Sorry again for my english.
The Content on this Site is presented in a summary fashion, and is intended to be used for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to be and should not be interpreted as medical advice or a diagnosis of any health or fitness problem, condition or disease; or a recommendation for a specific test, doctor, care provider, procedure, treatment plan, product, or course of action. Med Help International, Inc. is not a medical or healthcare provider and your use of this Site does not create a doctor / patient relationship. We disclaim all responsibility for the professional qualifications and licensing of, and services provided by, any physician or other health providers posting on or otherwise referred to on this Site and/or any Third Party Site. Never disregard the medical advice of your physician or health professional, or delay in seeking such advice, because of something you read on this Site. We offer this Site AS IS and without any warranties. By using this Site you agree to the following Terms and Conditions. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your physician or 911 immediately.