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Is it normal for me to want him more?
Hi, I want to know if it is normal for me to want my husband way more than he seems to want to have sex with me. My husband loves having sex, but not often like I do. This has started a lot of arguements in our marriage. When I ask other husbands, they seem to think that it's strange that my husband would not want to have sex at least once every couple of days or more. If I don't say anything, sometimes we won't have sex for weeks. We aren't having sex with other people and neither of us are cheating. Maybe I am the one with too much desire? I just don't know.
Is there something wrong with this or am I making something out of nothing?
Is there something wrong with this or am I making something out of nothing?
The key issue is communiction about the issue regardless if they want to or not. Marriage is a relationship that should be pleasing each other. If you are doing so many things for your wife/husband why are they not interested in doing one thing for you that gives you pleaser. Hang in there! Trying new and exciting things can help. But also, look at stressors and Household chores who is doing all the work these can cause friction and cause bed separation. If you both work then child rearing and household duties should be more equal if possible. Check it out. If a women or a man is tried{which do you think they want more sleep or sex} do not be surprised when the pick sleep. In their younger days they picked sex over sleep but now the interest for some changes. Also age difference, hormones, sex preferences who doing what doing sex"WORK" can drive you to and from the urge of sex. Who's getting the pleasure { are we both or is it always the same person}
Heres some xx rated advise: if you really want it.. Be more aggressive, Do new positions, Try fun romantic things, find the pleasure points, give them Tylenol for their HA and wait 10 min and tell them the orgasm will get rid of the HA and stress relief it is better than medication.
You can also, get n.... and lay almost on top of each other and i promise you they won't be able to resist. hormones will kick in and the more you have sex the higher their sex drive will be
Good Luck Abby
Heres some xx rated advise: if you really want it.. Be more aggressive, Do new positions, Try fun romantic things, find the pleasure points, give them Tylenol for their HA and wait 10 min and tell them the orgasm will get rid of the HA and stress relief it is better than medication.
You can also, get n.... and lay almost on top of each other and i promise you they won't be able to resist. hormones will kick in and the more you have sex the higher their sex drive will be
Good Luck Abby
I don't think you are alone in this feeling I am the same way I want sex all the time day or night and my husband is ok maybe once a week I don't know how to make him want me more either and unfortunately I have gone else where as a result of this more than once and he knows and still wants to work things out but yet doesn't want to work on this issue....and when he does want sex it's the same thing always.
I went to Soho-lingerie on the internet!!!
You'll be spoilt for choice when you see their range!! I went for a few romantic numbers to a few naughty outfits. I bought a pink partially-laced 'baby doll' - this is transparent but is like a mini dress - I felt very sexy in it. The other I've bought is a bit naughtier - it's a police costume - Hustler to be pricise, and is a tight but stretchy bum-framed navy dress matched with a black lace up front and authority bagde!!! When I matched it with black knee high boots my partner went crazy!! (hard on the spot, to be exact, sorry, but I thought I best to explain the kind of effect it can have!!!) And when we subsequently made-love I can safely say that sparkes were flying in us both!!!!
If you're willing to try this sort of thing, it's not only fun, but made me feel really sexy for him, and I'd recommend it for putting a spark into things if that's what you need. I loved being appreciated like that - you know, his reaction to seeing me like that... so Good Luck!!
Let me know what she thought about the idea...
You'll be spoilt for choice when you see their range!! I went for a few romantic numbers to a few naughty outfits. I bought a pink partially-laced 'baby doll' - this is transparent but is like a mini dress - I felt very sexy in it. The other I've bought is a bit naughtier - it's a police costume - Hustler to be pricise, and is a tight but stretchy bum-framed navy dress matched with a black lace up front and authority bagde!!! When I matched it with black knee high boots my partner went crazy!! (hard on the spot, to be exact, sorry, but I thought I best to explain the kind of effect it can have!!!) And when we subsequently made-love I can safely say that sparkes were flying in us both!!!!
If you're willing to try this sort of thing, it's not only fun, but made me feel really sexy for him, and I'd recommend it for putting a spark into things if that's what you need. I loved being appreciated like that - you know, his reaction to seeing me like that... so Good Luck!!
Let me know what she thought about the idea...
Hello again,
you sound like the sort of husband a woman should be thrilled to have!!! It's strange hearing about you - you sound just like my partner - he has trained in massage and is a former chef too, I'm yet to have the holidays though because we've been together for one year and been putting all our money into a house we've recently purchased.
I did tell him about your advice about vitamin C and now he's taking some daily, so thanks for the tip!! In fairness to him he's making a conscious effort to keep me satisfied, as he knows how important intimacy is to me - I think it shows everything between a couple - it's the most passionate close loveing thing you can do together and so it's imporatnt for me to feel he wants to be like that with me as much as possible. I've even bought erotic lingerie recently - he finds it very appealing - maybe you could ask your wife if she'd be interested - it certainly makes me feel sexier when I wear them - and that's very important when making love-making that much more special. Having confidence is very important for the woman in love-making - looking good is feeling good!
I think you're being hard on yourself in saying you're stupid - to me you sound like a husband who cares a lot about his wife and you're relationship, you sound like you're doing a great job - it also sounds like your wife has more problems in letting you in than you do, and so it is not you with the problem. Have you tried telling her how you feel? I say this because for a while I bottled up my feelings and found myself questioning a lot of things, then opening up and confronting him about things that were bothering me showed many things I thought were the case were not, and it meant he made an effort to address where he was going wrong - he said he'd never want to loose me etc. Talking about things could be the start of finding out ways you could feels more satisfied with your love life and she could let you in more??
Have you got anymore tips about how he can stay interested everyday?
you sound like the sort of husband a woman should be thrilled to have!!! It's strange hearing about you - you sound just like my partner - he has trained in massage and is a former chef too, I'm yet to have the holidays though because we've been together for one year and been putting all our money into a house we've recently purchased.
I did tell him about your advice about vitamin C and now he's taking some daily, so thanks for the tip!! In fairness to him he's making a conscious effort to keep me satisfied, as he knows how important intimacy is to me - I think it shows everything between a couple - it's the most passionate close loveing thing you can do together and so it's imporatnt for me to feel he wants to be like that with me as much as possible. I've even bought erotic lingerie recently - he finds it very appealing - maybe you could ask your wife if she'd be interested - it certainly makes me feel sexier when I wear them - and that's very important when making love-making that much more special. Having confidence is very important for the woman in love-making - looking good is feeling good!
I think you're being hard on yourself in saying you're stupid - to me you sound like a husband who cares a lot about his wife and you're relationship, you sound like you're doing a great job - it also sounds like your wife has more problems in letting you in than you do, and so it is not you with the problem. Have you tried telling her how you feel? I say this because for a while I bottled up my feelings and found myself questioning a lot of things, then opening up and confronting him about things that were bothering me showed many things I thought were the case were not, and it meant he made an effort to address where he was going wrong - he said he'd never want to loose me etc. Talking about things could be the start of finding out ways you could feels more satisfied with your love life and she could let you in more??
Have you got anymore tips about how he can stay interested everyday?
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Hi Stella:
Relax. First of all, there’s no such thing as “normal” when it comes to sex. Whatever is normal for you, is “normal.” You are your unique self, and whatever you enjoy is part of you. If you like steak and your husband likes chicken, you wouldn’t think either of you is “abnormal,” would you? In any relationship, there are bound to be different preferences, likes, dislikes, etc. The trick is to be able to appreciate those differences (very often they’re the reason we became attracted in the first place) and integrate them successfully in your relationship.
So perhaps your husband enjoys sex less often than you do. First step is to ask yourself what you’re using sex for. Is your desire truly for sex itself, or is it for the cozy, intimate feeling you get after? Some women only feel loved and cared for after sex because some men are only able to express their love during sex. If you don’t feel intimate and loved in your non-sexual time together, this can put pressure on sex to make up for that deficit.
Next step is to talk with your husband regarding how can you make this work for both of you? I suggest talking—rather than arguing—as your first step. The most helpful attitude is “what can we do TOGETHER to make this work for both of us?” Remember to share only your feelings; don’t attack him or accuse him. This process involves problem-solving as a team. You might ask him to share if there’s anything he might like you to do that would increase his desire. Certain clothing, activities, or…? If you put your heads together, you might be able to work out a creative solution. For instance, there are lots of ways to be sexual and intimate without penis-vagina sex. If your husband’s sexual energy is low when you want sex, how about asking him to hold you and stroke you while you self-pleasure? My guess is once you two get used to it, he’ll find it fun as well. If this isn’t an option you care to pursue, are there other things the two of you can do that will satisfy your desire more often? Think of this as a fun way to get to know each other better, and it won’t seem so daunting. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
Relax. First of all, there’s no such thing as “normal” when it comes to sex. Whatever is normal for you, is “normal.” You are your unique self, and whatever you enjoy is part of you. If you like steak and your husband likes chicken, you wouldn’t think either of you is “abnormal,” would you? In any relationship, there are bound to be different preferences, likes, dislikes, etc. The trick is to be able to appreciate those differences (very often they’re the reason we became attracted in the first place) and integrate them successfully in your relationship.
So perhaps your husband enjoys sex less often than you do. First step is to ask yourself what you’re using sex for. Is your desire truly for sex itself, or is it for the cozy, intimate feeling you get after? Some women only feel loved and cared for after sex because some men are only able to express their love during sex. If you don’t feel intimate and loved in your non-sexual time together, this can put pressure on sex to make up for that deficit.
Next step is to talk with your husband regarding how can you make this work for both of you? I suggest talking—rather than arguing—as your first step. The most helpful attitude is “what can we do TOGETHER to make this work for both of us?” Remember to share only your feelings; don’t attack him or accuse him. This process involves problem-solving as a team. You might ask him to share if there’s anything he might like you to do that would increase his desire. Certain clothing, activities, or…? If you put your heads together, you might be able to work out a creative solution. For instance, there are lots of ways to be sexual and intimate without penis-vagina sex. If your husband’s sexual energy is low when you want sex, how about asking him to hold you and stroke you while you self-pleasure? My guess is once you two get used to it, he’ll find it fun as well. If this isn’t an option you care to pursue, are there other things the two of you can do that will satisfy your desire more often? Think of this as a fun way to get to know each other better, and it won’t seem so daunting. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
I'll give credit where credit is due, my partner can definately spark a reaction in me, and it's because it's so good, it leaves me wanting more, to be exact. I tell myself, I'll leave him instigate it next time, and he never really does unless I start to kiss him passionately, etc. It's not that he says no very often but it's little things like the fact he wont instigate love making that bothers me... he leaves it all to me.
Forgive me if this sounds silly, but as you ask for some secrets, in my case what always gets me in the mood is when he kisses me passionately, then touches, you know... it definately brings out the sparkle in a woman to have certain areas touched, making love-making that much more exciting, sensitive, you name it. Hope that's helped!!
Forgive me if this sounds silly, but as you ask for some secrets, in my case what always gets me in the mood is when he kisses me passionately, then touches, you know... it definately brings out the sparkle in a woman to have certain areas touched, making love-making that much more exciting, sensitive, you name it. Hope that's helped!!
It's reassuring reading your post that I am not the only woman on this planet who feels as though her man does not want her as much as she wants him.
Bingo! That's me. The trouble is that I do get extremely hurt by this and accuse him of not fancying me. I don't know if it's merely a case of I have a higher sex drive than him and just that... or, I also wonder whether men need to build up their sperm over a couple of days in order to get the urge to make love... these are all things i have asked myself. The answers are just guesses though...
Can anyone explain this please?
Bingo! That's me. The trouble is that I do get extremely hurt by this and accuse him of not fancying me. I don't know if it's merely a case of I have a higher sex drive than him and just that... or, I also wonder whether men need to build up their sperm over a couple of days in order to get the urge to make love... these are all things i have asked myself. The answers are just guesses though...
Can anyone explain this please?
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