Hello.
First, I'm sorry you're going through this painful experience. It's important that you realize that your husband has many issues--most of which have nothing to do with you. The best thing you can do for yourself at this point is to get counselor for yourself in order to help you through this transitional time. You need help and support in deciding what you'd like to do with your life. There's no reason for you to go through this alone.
I can't tell you anything about your husband, his motivation, etc., because I only have your perspective. What I CAN tell you, however, is that people often use sex for non-sexual reasons--for instance, the same way many use food for comfort. This does not mean your husband has any "addiction," but that he's using sex to distract himself from whatever pain he feels and to supply whatever he feels is missing from his life.
We all use sex for different things—including as a way to avoid dealing with our very real problems and as a way to feel loved. In fact, because of the way men are socialized, many can only let down their guard and be vulnerable during sex. This means that sex is used to soothe any feelings of loneliness, etc., and that puts a lot of pressure on sex to be the ultimate healer.
As I said, you shouldn't have to go through this alone. Please find a counselor for support. My best wishes to you. Dr. J
Divorce his a**...You shouldn't put up with that sh**...You deserve better than that...That's my advice...
Hi Ann,
Have you ever hear of the organization SLAA?? Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous. There is a text book and they virtually use the same steps of AA. There are men in there that sound just like your husband. Check it out or better ask him to go once.
The one thing people don't get in their head is that porn leads to these things for most people. I am sorry to hear you have to go thru this but there is sunshine on the horizon.