My 15yr old son exposed himself and tried to toung kiss his 7yr old sister, what do I do ?

[malibu55]

I Don't know what topic section this would go in but here it is. My 15yr old son exposed himself to his 7yr old sister and tried to toung kiss her. I know (since talking to her) there was no touching of privats but just the idea sickens me. (My son is from a earllier relationship , different father than my daughter.) I am almost numb tring to keep my cool but my daughters dad is freeking out , this being a man who untill this point felt my son as his. My daughter dose not seem to be affected or dose not fell scared by her brother . My son dose not live with me (due to a road bump in my life) but has lived with his father ,stepmother and stepsister for the last 6 yrs.  I do know he needs help dealing and understanding what he is fealing and why. Where / what to do 1st?

[applesweet316]

The World today is all about sex. girls going to school with small little skirts and low shirts. they all look like their in their 20s. Im 24 still very young, and they look sexier then i have ever looked. Your son is at a age were its common to have sex. sad to say. A few things to think about. May be your son sees things going on at his fathers house. maybe your 7year old daughter is dressing to old for her age. Maybe something happened to your son to think this act is alright. Maybe his friends do it to their sisters. Either what the underlining issue is your son and daughter should both speak with someone. You daughter might not being showing anything to be worried about but it this could  effect her sexuallity later on. (when she's married right) The whole sex thing is being pushed very strongly on kids now adays. crap i didnt have sex till i was 19 and a few years ago 4th grades were having an ORGY in a class room. id also ask his teachers if they have noticed any slight change or hanging out with anyone new. i wouldnt tell the school what happened in your home. i do wish ur family the best.

[EJEJC9109]

have you talked to your son? Something could have happened to him as a child the same thing happened to a friend of mine  with a older family member when she was about 11 or 12 and he was was sexually abused and thats why he did that to her an also there was no touching in this case if u feel uncomfortable talking to your son you could maybe get the help of a professional. i know your in a hard spot being the mom of both children i hope everything works out and everything can go back to normal best of luck, and prayers for you

[Janice M Epp, PhD]

Hello.

It sounds to me as though your son has some boundary issues. If he didn't grow up with his half-sister, he may not think of her as a close relative, and this may have contributed to his behavior. In addition, it's important to realize that at 15, his hormones are going crazy. In fact, at his age, everything in his body is telling him to be sexual. And you're absolutely correct: he needs help understanding his feelings. And he needs to accurate, non-judmental sex information.

I would suggest that you acknowledge his feelings and set some boundaries for him. Then perhaps the two of you could read a book together and discuss it. I recommend "The Family Book about Sex," by Dr. Mary Calderone. Another excellent resource is "Ask Me Anything," by Dr. Marty Klein.

One other possibility occurs to me and that is that your son is acting out in order to get attention from you. He may feel neglected or second best since he's not living with you. This is something for you to discuss with him as well. If his behavior continues, you may want to investigate sending him to a therapist who is trained to help teens with sexual concerns. Good luck to you. Dr. J