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Trouble with sensations and erections
Hi doctor J,
My issue I believe started when I was in puberty. I started masturbating in an unconventional way. I would place my hand over my cloths and rub my hand against my penis that way, or sometimes I would lay face down and rub against my mattress while i was fully clothed. I did this in case someone knocked on the door, i would already be dressed and they wouldn't suspect anything.
Today I am 29 and have not been with many women, most of my sexual experience has been through masturbation.
The problem I have now is when I have regular intercourse with a women I cannot feel that much sensation when I am in the vagina. I feel the initial pleasant sensation of warmth and then after goes away I feel next to nothing and can go for like an hour before ejaculation.
I believe that since I spend most of my time masturbating and not having real sex I have become conditioned to respond only in that way.
a second thing I have noticed is that I can be feeling really turned on, but then when I take my cloths off and I don't feel very aroused at all. I feel less comfortable naked, even when i am just by myself. And i have trouble getting an erection if i try to masturbate in the shower with lubricant to make it seem more like the real thing, even if I am thinking of the same thing that i was when masturbating in my cloths.
Also i used pornography a lot when masturbating and am used to viewing the girl that way, I am not used to regular real girls who aren't as sexy or viewing them from my point of view and not a third person perspective.
I do not have a girlfriend to have sex with.
My question is, does my self analysis make sense? and since I don't have a girlfriend right now, can I start to condition myself to like regular intercourse so I am ready to enjoy sex for the next time I get lucky?
Thank You!
My issue I believe started when I was in puberty. I started masturbating in an unconventional way. I would place my hand over my cloths and rub my hand against my penis that way, or sometimes I would lay face down and rub against my mattress while i was fully clothed. I did this in case someone knocked on the door, i would already be dressed and they wouldn't suspect anything.
Today I am 29 and have not been with many women, most of my sexual experience has been through masturbation.
The problem I have now is when I have regular intercourse with a women I cannot feel that much sensation when I am in the vagina. I feel the initial pleasant sensation of warmth and then after goes away I feel next to nothing and can go for like an hour before ejaculation.
I believe that since I spend most of my time masturbating and not having real sex I have become conditioned to respond only in that way.
a second thing I have noticed is that I can be feeling really turned on, but then when I take my cloths off and I don't feel very aroused at all. I feel less comfortable naked, even when i am just by myself. And i have trouble getting an erection if i try to masturbate in the shower with lubricant to make it seem more like the real thing, even if I am thinking of the same thing that i was when masturbating in my cloths.
Also i used pornography a lot when masturbating and am used to viewing the girl that way, I am not used to regular real girls who aren't as sexy or viewing them from my point of view and not a third person perspective.
I do not have a girlfriend to have sex with.
My question is, does my self analysis make sense? and since I don't have a girlfriend right now, can I start to condition myself to like regular intercourse so I am ready to enjoy sex for the next time I get lucky?
Thank You!
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Hi Ranger.
Your questions are way too complex to answer in this short format. However, you know yourself best, and your insights seem fairly accurate. You may have conditioned yourself to a certain kind of stimulation.
However, I think you have been socially isolated for such a long time that you're lacking in confidence. I suggest you talk about these issues with a counselor trained to help people with sexual concerns. You may be able to identify some situations in which you can begin to meet women and interact with them to come out of your shell. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
Your questions are way too complex to answer in this short format. However, you know yourself best, and your insights seem fairly accurate. You may have conditioned yourself to a certain kind of stimulation.
However, I think you have been socially isolated for such a long time that you're lacking in confidence. I suggest you talk about these issues with a counselor trained to help people with sexual concerns. You may be able to identify some situations in which you can begin to meet women and interact with them to come out of your shell. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
You need to at least try masturbating without any clothes. You've conditioned yourself to masturbate with clothes on. It might take time but you should still do it. No one wants to have two minute sex...
You are reading content posted in the Sexuality & Relationships Forum
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Discharge often isn't normal, and could mean an infection or an STD.
STDs aren't transmitted through clothing. Fabric is a germ barrier.
Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.
