My boyfriend's 24yr old daughter tries to discredit me with his family. She acts super sweet to my face then talks horrible to family members behind my back. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. His daughter has always been horrible to anyone he dates. I always try to help her with any issues she might have and just be her friend. This girl loves drama and wants my boyfriends attention constantly. She still lives at home and has had problems with alcohol/drugs in the past. I think she should be on her own at this age but I keep my opinions to myself. My boyfriend doesnt see how she is manipulating him. This situation is causing a rift between us. I love him dearly but dont know how much more I can take. I have 2 grown children and they dont give us any problems. They have their own lives. How do I handle her backstabbing me and trying to cause trouble in our relationship? I want to make this work.
I am having similar problems with my 16 year old step-daughter...she came to live with us (my fiance and I) and we felt sorry for her because she was telling us how "unfair and mean" her mother was...she came with us and was fine...honor roll student etc, never complained and was well behaved....BUT...in the past two months, we have noticed that she does her chores when "she" feels like it....and when my fiance trys to talk to her, she acts "grown" and has a sassy mouth....or as she says, "speaks her mind"....now that she "got her way" and went back to her mothers for Christmas (we told her we didn't have $ to fly her from Hawaii to Nebraska, but she manipulated everyone and got her mom to get a ticket with child support money, even though my fiance and the mother agreed that she couldn't go)...basically the mother undermined my hubby..and now that she is in Nebraska, she is telling the mother all kinds of "crap"...to include that I wanted her to call me MOM....WTF!!!! I never said that..never even hinted....I, my 15 yr-old son and my fiancee are extremely HURT by this childs actions....and my fiance is not an "arguer" so he won't lay in to the mother when she doesn't know what she's talking about!!! This just happened last night, and saw the feelings are very RAW!
I have gone out of my way to be a "mom" to her, but knowing I couldn't and NEVER would replace her real mother....I am just floored at this girls self-centered "spoiled brat" attitude....If I would've ever talked to my mother and father the way she has talked to her father, I would've been knocked into next week!.....ultimately, she may not be returning to live with us because my fiance will not deal with her disrespect...she has dug her own hole! and it hurts me, but I have to stand by his decision....but, I don't know what to do with all this pain...and I wish I could take my fiancees pain away, but other than issues in MY house and with ME AND MY SON, I'm staying out of their drama!
I just don't understand how or why my step-daughter has decided to act this way ;(
It takes two to tango. Ignore her manipulations. She gets a kick out of your reactions, so don't react. If the little brat can succeed in turning your father against you, then he was not worth having in the first place.
So stay out of it. If you do, he may see the situation more clearly. As it is now, he has to defend his daughter. Don't put him in that position.
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