Step Parenting Community
How to deal?
About This Community:

This patient support community is for discussions relating to step parenting, anger, behavioral issues, chores, communication, discipline, ex- spouses, family gatherings and meetings, family decisions, frustration, fun activities, grandparents and relatives, guilt, rules, stress, and time issues.

Font Size:
A
A
A
Background:
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank Blank

How to deal?

I am 14 weeks pregnant with my fiancé. I have a 3 year old daughter from a previous relationship who's father is not around. I just found out today that my fiancé might have a 7 month old son that he didn't know about that was before me. He supposedly had a one night stand type thing with her and wasn't even sure if they actually had sex because he drank so much that night. They hadn't been in contact since until he started hearin rumors that the baby looked like him. Shes engaged to somebody. Am I wrong to be feeling upset and angry and wishing this kid wasn't his? I love him so much for taking on my daughter who isn't his but he knew this coming into the relationship. Am I wrong to not want to have a step child? I'm soon to be 23 and will have two young children of my own. I guess my question is how is this going to effect me and him? Is there anyone out there who can give me advice on how to deal wih this? How to possibly take on another child that's not my own? How do you step parents handle havin step children?
2 Comments Post a Comment
Blank
3110545_tn?1343312248
hi... you have to accept your stepson as your husband accepts your daughter ... you can't be like you have to get rid of him and you're bringing a daughter into the marriage ... 1st he has to do a genetic test maybe it's not even his ... but if it's his you have to accept him because at one point if he has to chose between you and his son i am sure he will chose his son ...
Blank
1268057_tn?1399131913
For starts.....He needs to verify this child is even his.  He might not even be his.  Then go from there.  

I can perfectly understand how this would cause angst and worry because you were pretty much "hit" with the situation to deal with.  

If the child is his you will just have to accept this child some way some how especially if you want to marry this man.  It may not be easy for you to do, but it would have to be done.  If you find you can't do this I don't think you should pursue the relationship OR you could seek professional counseling in regards to this to help you to cope with this.

And no.....you are NOT a terrible person for feeling this way.  Accepting another person's children or child is NOT always easy and can be a difficult position to be in.  

First, find out if the child is even his.  If he isn't....no worries.  
Blank
Post a Comment
To
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
Step Parenting Community Resources
RSS Expert Activity
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
The 3 Essentials to Ending Emotiona...
Sep 18 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Control Emotional Eating with this ...
Sep 04 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Emotional Eating Control: How to St...
Aug 28 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank