i m dealing with 10 year old step daughter and she is destroying my marriage by manipulating and lying and all that crap all day long she is good with me as long as she sees her dad talking to me or us laughing together she gets so jelous n upset and then tells her dad that i pushed her when she was standing or blah blah blah but my depression get worse when my husband starts fight over her ..its been 3 years i cant think how a 10 year old can be that clever
She is jealous of your relationship with him and she probably does want to destroy it. This I would say happens a lot to mixed families.
How long have you been married to him? When did it start from the beginning or recently?
Does your husband spend any one on one time with her?
Have you ever had a conversation with her to ask her if she is mad at you, or if she feels you have taken away her dad and how you can help her not feel that way?
Does you husband believe her right away and start questioning you if you did something or not?
My daughter is 10 and my husband (not her father) and her are at it all the time but she loves him. She doesn't like the way he does things and he annoys her and she does try to play me but I will listen to both sides and I will talk to them both. At one point I had to ask them to stop putting me in the middle and work it out and stop bothering each other because that is what they do.
However I know that she feels that she needs more time with me and that is my fault. I try but we are so busy that it is almost impossible.
Being a step parent is hard. I have been on both sides and it is hard when it is not your child, but you also want that child to like you and respect you.
I think you should sit down with your husband and tell him how you feel and how you guys can work this out. He needs to sit down and talk to her as well and ask her why she is doing that. She might tell him.
My daughter told me but says he is the best dad anyways, however the issue needs to be addressed if she is repressing feelings.
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