I am currently pregnant. My finance has a 2 year old son from a previous relationship. He just recently gained full custody of his son, due to his mother being on drugs. His son has not been being properly raised by his mother, so as a result of that he is not well behaved. My finance feels that its okay to give him what he wants so he won't be upset. I do not believe this is okay. Should I intervene? I don't want my finace to feel like I'm trying to take over, but his son needs to be put in line.
A two year old needs consistency, not being "put in line." Please don't take out your dismay at the mom and her crummy child-rearing on the child. Since he is only 2, he is very malleable, and will be susceptible to a calm, routine life, where meals are when expected and love is given and attention is provided, and things that are good for kids are done by the adults. To find out what is good for a little kid who has been badly managed and faced drama and upheaval, talk to a child's therapist or specialist in early childhood, with your husband, and develop a regular way of life that includes a 2-year-old, and you should see the child calm down soon enough.
The little boy has a double adjustment to make - to his father and to you. (Triple actually if you consider the new home.) For the time being I would leave most of his adjustment to his father. As time goes by you will have a larger role, but at this juncture your are too much for this two-year old to handle. With patience and good will everything will work out.
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