This patient support community is for discussions relating to stroke, rehabilitation, ability to eat/swallow, alertness, bowel/bladder control, depression, motor skills, nutrition, orthotics/braces, pain, prevention, senses, and spasticity.
My ex-husband had a major stroke three months ago. While he is improving, I do not see him ever able to live on his own ever again. My dilemna; my fifteen year old son was very close to his dad. We were the first people at the hospital, my son has been a part of every diffucult decision. At this point, his father is in a rehab three hours away from our home. We have visited several times over the past few months, but his father makes him feel guilty if we don't visit every weekend. I am torn between wanting to help my ex, but at the same time, I want my son to deal with this at his own pace.
Three months is still very early days for your ex husband, as time goes on your ex husband will improve alot more. I had a major stroke, and came out of hospital in a wheelchair, with an eyepatch and my hair shaved where I had brain surgery. 22 months later I do not need a wheelchair, I have no eyepatch and my hair has grown. Things change so much with time and they will with your ex husband.
As time goes on your ex husband will be less dependent on visitors, but at the moment he is.
Your son must get on with his own life, and as you say must deal with all this in his own pace. Explain to your ex that it is a long way for you to travel and also that your son has certain activities that he has to do sometimes at the weekends but assure him that your son can phone him and tell him all about what your son has been doing. I hope things work out for you, it's just a shock for everyone involved. But it the situation will get better over time.
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