Mother's Stroke - Is this behaviour common?

[tamsinstead]

My mother suffered a hemmergic (spel) a couple of months ago and is now in a care home for stroke victims.

I have been told by my sister (I live in another country) that she is incontinent and that even after a special 'armchair' lavatory had been provided, and an incontinence pad specialist brought in, she removes the pads and won't use the toilet, preferring to lie in her own urine and faeces! This had apparently been happening for some time sine the stroke was diagnosed and she was living alone in her own home. She is 77 years old.

She is also 'addicted' to sweets, apparently gobbling them down so fast as to make her gag.

When I call her on the telephone, she seems pretty much normal apart from her now not being interested in current affairs as before. I understand that apathy is a symptom. She says the home 'is boring' and refuses to accept that her incontinence is her own and blames the careworkers.

Can anyone please explain to me the preference of sleeping in her own defecation over pads/commode? And what's with the sweets? Lack of glucose?

[tamsinstead]

Hello Tim
Thankyou for your reply. I too think it's more than the stroke. My brother, who was living with her at the time, told me many years ago that she would act 'strange' on occasions and thought it might be some kind of dementia/alzheimers - although there's no alzheimer's in our family.
I agree the incontinence thing could very well be some kind of 'dirty protest' as I'm pretty sure she was hoping my sister would take care of her if she ever became ill. My sister is a divorcee with a 17 year old daughter and told me she couldn't possibly have her live with them 'as it wouldn't be fair to her daughter'. Having said that, she has and is visiting a lot, as is my brother. But my mother can be quite controlling, she refused to speak to me for the year preceeding my coming to live in Thailand. We hadn't spoken for the five years prior to my having a car accident here a year ago in which I almost died. My sister and then mother, had of course been contacted.
Anyway, what to do about the incontinence? I am advising/getting updates on my mother's condition, besides calling her from my sister, who isn't particularly interested in researching strokes or discussing it with the doctor.
Should I suggest she talk seriously to the doctor re a test for alzheimer's/dementia?
Thanks again for your help Tim.
Tamsin
PS Iwas once told by a lawyer friend of mine, many years ago, that I was the only positive cynic he'd ever met. He was wrong then wasn't he! :D

[positive_cynic]

tamsinstead,
I had a stroke about a year ago and since then I have met and talked to dozens of stroke survivors from all different ages. I have not yet heard from incontinence from a stroke. It is possible she is in the first stages of dementia or alzheimer's. There are tests to pinpoint the problem. Please know however she just had a stroke 2 months ago. That is not long ago at all. I guarantee right now she is confused and probably  is scared as well. Those things are very common right after a stroke. I know people may think it is apathy, but I would rather call it confused. If she is not watching current affairs, it is because she doesn't understand it right now. I could not listen to radio or watch TV right after my stroke because it was too confusing to me and frustrated me. Patience and understanding can go a long way. She may not want to be where she is and the incontinence could be her way of protesting where she is right now, if she cannot verbally tell you how she feels. Please let me know if I can help in anyway.
God Bless,
Tim