I'm a 19 year old girl. I feel sad and lonely half of the time, and fine the other half of the time. A few times now I have been angry all day, taking it out on my boyfriend and then crying all night... when asked what has been wrong, I cannot answer as I have no idea. This makes it worse, because then I'm frustrated about not knowing what is wrong with me. I am taking Microgynon 30 as a contraceptive pill, but my Doctor told me that it should not affect my mood. I have always been an extremely emotional person... especially since I was 14. I suffered major depression then, but that was caused by my grandma becoming terminally ill and problems with friends. I was suicidal back then, but I'm not anymore. I can see similarities between the way I felt when I was 14 and how I feel now. I have great parents, and I have a boyfriend who I'm very happy with. But I still feel lonely. I am unhappy with my situation at university, but I don't think it's enough to cause me to feel depressed.
I don't know what to do. I don't believe in taking pills... they only act as a deterrent, not a cure. I don't feel as though counselling would help, as I can't think of anything that I would state as a problem in my life. Could this possibly be something called clinical depression? Am I bipolar? I don't know.
Please help me; I can't seem to stop crying... or laughing.