Helppp

[shonielannon]

Hey, the thing is im 14, 15 in april. I have felt really depressed for like 1 year - 2 year. last year i had councelling but it never worked for me it didnt help. My mum would accuse me of attention seeking so ever since ive just locked everything up inside and because of locking it up, i feel im starting to loose control in myself. I wouldnt like to admit before that i needed help. There was a time in my life, about 3 months ago where i was using alcahol to cope with life, because things got that bad, one day i went into school really drunk, and got sent to hopsital. Once i was back in school i had the teachers bothering me, but i just wudnt admit and i wudnt tell enyone. Ive now really am pleading for help. I have being worried about myself because im had really bad memory. Like someone would tell me something and a second later i would forget everything i said. My mum would tell me do to something and i would forget and just end up walking off. Other than a bad memory, ive had bad concentration. Ive not being able to do school work, id get really confused and forget what i was doing, and i would feel like a failure, i would get really upset and the teacher would say shonie dont give up now you can do this, and id just have tears and not do my work. Im really lacking in my coursework because of this, now i dont know if its eny thing to do with just being depressed or is it because i had concusion when i was 7. Would there be eny damage to my brain? Also, the other night i had a really wierd feeling because i was sat crying on my bed and i felt i was changing into someone else, i had these severe thought of suicidal, just slashing and stabbing myself, i actuly felt i could just do it straight away. I get uncontrollable crying alot, but i Just cant seem to talk to someone about this, because i still feel like people are guna think am attnetion seeking, but im getting really concerned about myself. I cant explain how i feel, but i am really down. what should i do ?

[Haddock_Entrap_Propulasion]

It sounds to me like fairly straightforward major depression...even the confusion, although both could be related to a concussion.  I'd recommend that you see a psychiatrist and see about trying medication...
It's normal to be afraid that people will think you're seeking attention, and some will.  But you are quite obviously in very real pain here, and don't let anyone try and convince you that it isn't valid.  
If you want to talk about this, you can always contact me...I've dealt with my own depression issues for almost 10 years now, and I'm a peer counselor at my school.  

[Judy246]

Yes, my mom died and I don't expect you to write your life story, it was just as hard for me to  share that my mom died and you made yourself feel small and intimidated, I only tried to help.....you took me wrong....best wishes and good luck!

[Judy246]

Hi Shonie

Life is difficult, but you are going to need to develop the right coping skills to be able to handle everything that comes your way without it becoming either self destructive or emotionally disabling and these skills only come with life experience. It will actually strengthen you and make you a stronger person, so stay in school, learn as much as  you can, when life throws you out of balance, talk with a friend, a school councelor, online support groups are great and remember that bad things in life are temporary and shall pass, but you got to step back and not take everything inside (learn to let it go) surround yourself with good people, make school a priority (I graduated from DePaul University) and I know you can do it. Also, if you need to talk to your mom, know how to approacher by saying "Mom, I'm troubled and need to talk!"...you won't believe how fast mom will come to the rescue of her troubled daugher.  I also have a lot going on....my mother died in my arms on July 19, 2007 and if I can survive this, you are strong enought to survive anything life has....just learn how to cope without becoming self destructive...your going to fine and you have us here with you to talk to anything you need to....Judy (Chicago, IL)

[shonielannon]

Hiii.
The thing is, in the past why i was depressed was because of alot of things going on in life. Yeah it easy saying talk to someone but its really hard to explain and i cant get it out myself. Ive tried councelling cause i thought getting stuff off my chest would be good, but it never worked at all.
Thanks enyways,
shonie x

[Judy246]

Hi....first, I will talk to you like I would if you were my daughter ok.  You are at a very difficult "transitional" age, where you are not a child, yet you are not an adult and that is very difficult.  You are trying to find your way and define who you are and that is ok and believe it or not...natural. Also, when you hit that age of menstration (I'm sorry, but I have to bring this up), you have hormones that all over the place that can cause severe depression, nightmares, suicidal thoughts and just plain feeling "miserable" but good news is you can take  medication that can help you feel balanced again, but it happens every months until you will be at least late 40's (there are medication to help your hormone balance during, like midol),  It's ok to talk about your feelings when ever you want without fear of what someone else thinks.  If you mom does not want to listen to you, talk to a good friend, school counselor, somone you can trust.

If you think that the concusion might have done damage, talk to your school nurse or ask mom that you would like it check out.

Find good friends that will accept you for who  you are. You need to accept yourself for who you are and I'm sure you have excellent qualities. Surround yourself with good people, friends and an environment that is positive and you will go far.   Your going to be just fine...one day at a time. (Stay away from self destructive behavior like alcahol and drugs or you will regret it in the future....good luck sweet pea!)  Judy