I'm a 17 year old male and i have have probably the worst week of my life. I am not able to see my parents because of my grandmother which whom i was adopted by when i was 10. My parents have had a bad past about drugs and a lot of other things. I always wished that i could be a normal kid and have parents that were always there for me and cared a lot for me. Recently I've been going to see my dad and i basically got "caught". So my grandmother and my aunt sat down and talked to me for about two hours in my living room. Saying all of these bad things about my father, that he is the devil, no good for me, will get me into trouble, etc... They do not understand him like i do. He is actually quite different then what most people think. I love him a whole lot of course but how could they try to keep him away from me. My ex girlfriend was out there with me when we got caught and i talked to her mother about the situation. She understood me completely. The main reason why i am having such a hard time right now is because my father has cancer. So he was getting chemotherapy and when i saw him he was almost bald. Almost made me cry on the spot. They just do not understand how much i love him and how much he loves me. Now me and my ex girlfriend are fighting and everything is just going down hill from there. I just don't know what to do, that's why i am typing all this out. I have been hiding it for the longest time and now it's time to let it out. Please help!
You're seventeen now, not ten. If you want to see your father, then by all means go see him. The relationship you two have is between you two. Don't get me wrong, because I know where your grandmother and aunt are coming from. They're probably worried that he will be a bad influence, and there's a good possibility that he may be. This is why you need to set personal boundaries with him. A good example would be for him to be clean, and keep the dope heads away while you're there.. If he respects your wishes, then I see no issue with you talking to him. You should also set aside some time to talk to your aunt and grandmother, or if it's too hostile maybe write a letter explaining how you feel about this.
What happen with your girlfriend? You mentioned that you two have been fighting but not what it was over.
I agree with Hakphin, you are old enough to go see your parents if that is what you wish. Just because you aunt and grandmother have not forgiven him or your mother for his past does not mean that you do not have to allow this burden of hatred to weigh you down. You are doing the right thing by loving your father, imperfections and all and going to see him and be there for him. Plenty teens are not able to forgive their parents for taking away their cellphones or grounding them but you have forgiven much greater and that is tremendous!
Explain to your grandmother that you appreciate her in every way and that you love her, but as everyone else does, you have a need for your parents and that you want to be with your father through his rough time. Take care and keep posting.
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