Is there something wrong with me?

[thatonenerdgirl]

I’m 16 and I have never had a boyfriend. I don’t have any guy friends whatsoever. I kind of find it hard to make guy friends. I always ask my friends for advice and they tell me: “Just make some guy friends..” and im just like O.O. Wow. Big help. LOL. I kinda feel like all they guys in my school already have girlfriends, and the ones that are single just don’t seem to be interested or friendly. I honestly don’t have very high self-esteem. I don’t smile a lot. My hair is ugly and curly and dry-looking. Ugh. My friends always tell me how pretty I am, but I never get comments from boys, unless they were sarcastic remarks. I try to put on makeup like mascara and eyeliner, foundation and concealer, and it somewhat makes me feel better about myself, but sometimes I feel like a clown. I don’t even have many girl friends either to be honest, let alone guy friends. I’m usually one of the floaters in high school, like one of the people that doesn’t quite fit in. There are some days where I am okay with myself, and there are some days when I just want to roll into a ball and cry. Some people tell me I don’t take care of myself. Sometimes I feel like there is no use in making myself look pretty because nobody will notice, nobody will care. Not to mention I am raised in a strict manner. I am not allowed to date. But I am hoping my parents will see it through if I find someone special in my last two years in high school. I am just hoping this year will be better in the “boys” department. Maybe I am just not ready for this dating stuff. I feel like I am surrounded by friends who all have boyfriends and who all have somebody they like. I feel like everybody is dating, or has dated. I currently don’t like anyone.  But I am hoping this year, somebody will make me like them. I tend to think most high school boys are immature jerks, since I am quite mature for a 16 year old girl. Many of my parents’ friends are amazed at my maturity and good judgement. I also have social anxiety. It’s become  bad. I enjoy having a quiet and peaceful life at home, watching my youtube videos on craft ideas and listening to my favorite music. I don’t usually like to be around big groups of people, especially in school. The thought of school itself makes me really nervous. I always feel that everybody is going to judge me and what I wear, how I look, and who I associate with. I hate it. I just want to peacefully go to school without worrying what people will say.

[Lovedbutneverhappy]

I don't think there's anything wrong with you.  I went through the same thing.  It's just that the right guy hasn't found you yet.  There's nothing wrong with not having a boyfriend in high school, but the thing is, you don't want to rush into relationships because if you end up with one wrong person, it could ruin how you look at all men.  I suggest waiting to find the right guy, no matter how lonely or painful it is, but I promise you, it's worth every heartache

[julieah]

I have the exact same problem. I'm 16 and I've never had a boyfriend,  not even a boy as a friend. I find it SO hard to talk to guys. Even speaking with my 15-year old cousin (who's a boy), is difficult...

[thatquietgirl]

"Maybe I am just not ready for this dating stuff."

I'd say that's very correct.  You sound just like I was at your age. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you or how you are feeling; you are not abnormal or a clown or anything else.

Boys aren't the end all. Yeah, having a boyfriend's nice, but you can't really have a healthy relationship until you accept yourself for who you are and learn to love and respect yourself.  It's hard to get to that point, though, when you're raised by strict parents.  You probably feel like you're walking on egg shells trying to please them, am I correct?  

My advice to you: show them respect and respect their rules but be yourself.  If they can't stand that, then it's their problem.  So long as you're not breaking any laws or going out and having sex despite being a minor and so long as you're following their rules, it's truly their problem.  You'll be so much happier when you're true to yourself.  My parents (especially my father) were super strict; no dating allowed (though the contract I had to sign to go to high school at the school my parents sent me to kind of prevented that possibility), no this, no that.  And I wanted to please them, but in doing so, I lost sight of myself to the point of being so quiet all the time I didn't talk unless necessary and having absolutely no real friends.  Once I regained that sense of individuality, that sense of self, things were so much better.  I'd say that should be your focus right now.  You are young!  You have so much life ahead of you.

It took me til 21 to get to that point of acceptance, but if you start working on it now, you could reach it sooner.  I started getting noticed a lot more once I came to terms with myself and who I am as a person.  The confidence showed and still shows.  Shortly after, I actually met and began to date my first and only boyfriend, and let me tell you: he was worth the wait.  We've been together three years now, and I truly feel waiting was the best thing.  When I was your age, I wouldn't have been able to handle the stresses of a relationship (They are work!  Boys are strange creatures.) on top of still figuring out who I was.

The right guy will come along when you least expect it.  Right now, focus on yourself and figuring out who you are and what you want from life.  The rest will fall into place.