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What should I do? I think I'm depressed.
         I'm a seventeen year old girl and I think I might be depressed. I don't do drugs or drink any alcohol, and I don't cut myself. I am a fairly popular kid in highschool. I used to think I was normal, but I just realised today that I haven't been acting like myself lately. My grades have dropped (I used to get 90's, now I barely get 70's) because I have trouble concentrating. I have been feeling angry and have had many mood swings that my friends and family have noticed. I cry myself to sleep for absolutely no reason. I often feel very sad. I'm not suicidal, however I have thought about it (just of what would happen, not of actually commiting it). I don't go out anymore, I barely call or text my friends, and I have been a little unsociable lately. I used to want to apply to a very competitive college but now I don't think I'm smart enough. The activities I used to enjoy I avoid now. I was at a concert a week ago, one that I have been dreaming to go to all my life, because they're British and never come to the US, and while in line, I seriously thought about just going home and sleeping. I also have noticed that my sleeping habits have changed, I can barely sleep. My eating habits haven't changed much; I used to be really thin, and I have gained ten pounds, but I think that is really normal, you can't even tell I gained weight. I've been feeling really sad, and thought that the whole world has been bleak and lifeless. I feel like the world is experiencing a great depression, however when I asked someone about if they remember being happier a year ago, they replied that they feel the same.

I do not want to admit to my family that I am feeling depressed, because I think they will feel like I want attention. That's the opposite of what I want. I have been trying to hide my feelings as much as possible but aparently it's not working because people have noticed I don't act like I did before.

However, that being said, I'm not sulking around 24/7, I do go to work, and have conversations with people. So what should I do? Should I try to see if it wears off? I don't really think it is that important or serious to see a doctor or go on medication. Is there a way to cure it by myself? I don't really want anyone to know that I am depressed unless I need to. Also therapy wont work; I'm just not that type of person.
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you need to go to your dad pref with your sister and explain firstly the abuse you both suffered at the hands of his 'friend', any father would never want to let that happen to his kids (unless he is an abuser himself) and would surely be there 4 u if he knew. my dad and his friends went after a kiddie fiddler when he was around 23 and worked for a youth club (and that makes me proud, geuinely). if your dad doesnt love and support you then you must cut him off too. as for the bf, god run, tell your sister at least, dont yell at her, she was abused too, b ut sit her down explain what he does to you, she must know some as he wouldnt let u go the mall with her, even that is psycho. i appreciate with you history youve never had a loving relationship (any form of abuse, means no love, if someone loved you they wouldnt scream abuse at you, beat you, or rape u) any of these things alone should make u run for the hills, let alone all of them. anyone who loves you could never hurt you, i dont care if he begs or says how sorry he is, run. your sister has kids now, is she in a loving relationship?? once someone hits you, they will always hit you and rape you, i cannot believe anyone can stay with someone who rapes them. please for the love of god tell someone close enough to you who can help. your sister after also being abused is probably best to confide in first, if she says she doesnt want to talk about it, tell her you have no one else and that your bf has raped you, and as her sister she has to please help you. if the two of you can finally talk about it, i seriously suggest u go to your father, not only to tell him what that man did to his little girls (any dad would want to rid this man from all of your lives, you have given no indication that your father has ever done anything abusive, so u really must tell him what his 'friend' did to both of you). this man has probably abused and is still abusing other peoples kids now, would your sister want him round her kids, by staying silent you are not only letting him off with the sick things he did to you both but allowing other children to be abused.

if i told my dad this and he didnt at least castrate the man i wouldnt want him in my life either, personally if my dad killed him i'd give him an alibi, anyone who abuses kids deserves to die. same goes for rapists, such as your bf, he deserves to die. i appreciate the fact that you say you love him and never want to be without him, but NO ONE WHO LOVES YOU WOULD HURT YOU IN ANYWAY, NO ABUSE, NO VIOLENCE, there r good men out there, who wouldnt raise a finger to you. please get awy from this monster before he kills you, COZ HE WILL KILL YOU EVENTUALLY, maybe after he beats you another 1000x and rapes you another 200x. if you said no to sex at any point he would rape you, and you know it, he did it once he'll do it 1000x more.

PLEASE SPEAK TO YOUR SISTER AND YOUR FATHER, ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED THEN AND WHAT IS HAPPENING NOW BEFORE THEIR ATTENDING YOUR FUNERAL (IF THEY EVER FIND YOUR BODY)
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Not only you
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I feel the same as u all. I have had Thoughts about suicide but not commit them myself. My friends don't really understand but a teacher at my school is really nice and I talk to her about my depression, and it really helps. It's horrible having depression it make u feel like utter crap!!
Just talk o an adult and It will definently help :')
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I read your comment.  I wondered how you are feeling now.  I hope you are feeling great and are happy with your life.  But if you are not, I would like to say the following.  I dont know if I am right, but to me it looks like you put a lot of pressure on yourself right now.  Its like you have a certain standard of yourself and that needs to be so perfect.  To me that sounds like a very hard task.  

Heaps of love CAtt
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Hi, I read your post.  I dont  know and tell me if you think I am right, but it seems to me that your living with a lot of pain.  Your childhood was totally ruined by a man who did something totally wrong and he definitely should be punished by law.  You were a little girl who had a horrendous experience.  One that should never have happened to you.  Little children need to be protected and nutured.  but you, you have lived through a violent and extremely deeply hurtful experience, emotionally, mentally and physcially.  No one should have to go through that.  That mans actions of rape has seemed to have put your life on a path that it was never meant to be on.  I can surely see why you would be cutting yourself and taking drugs, just to ease a bit of this pain.  Because you are not the person you are mean to be right now.  That man stopped you from being the person you were meant to be.  Would I be right in saying, you may still be the little girl who was raped.  Confused, wondering what was going on and why it was happening to you, and what was this happening to you.  its put you in a place where you just think its ok for people to do what ever they want to you.  that you may not have any power.  just feels powerless.  like there is nothing you can do.  i dont know if this is right, but cutting yourself so you feel something.  anything.  that man who raped you took away your feeling.  just numb now because thats how you get through each day, is that it?  I just wanted to connect with you on some level. I just wonder if any of what i have said sounds like what is going on for you.  I wish you all the best CAtt
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2060202 tn?1330736881
i have a weird depression, i get depressed when i see famous people on t.v. or in the news...i guess i just want to be famous...i know it sounds really dumb but it makes me get a funny felling inside

im kinda popular but alot of people hate me, im muscular(not at all depressed at my body) but it seems to me that i want to live in a world where i can have money to go on vacations with my family and also be noticed worldwide  
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Hey, i think im depressed im 12 year old girl my parents split up when i was 1 and ever since my mum met this new guy ive felt like crap then he moved us out to the countryside which i hate i never get on with him and it feels like i have no free time at all i get up go to school come home do jobs all night and im tired all the time im also a middle child i never have time for homework so i get stuck in detention im always sad and angry..
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Hey, i think im depressed im 12 year old girl my parents split up when i was 1 and ever since my mum met this new guy ive felt like crap then he moved us out to the countryside which i hate i never get on with him and it feels like i have no free time at all i get up go to school come home do jobs all night and im tired all the time im also a middle child i never have time for homework so i get stuck in detention im always sad and angry..
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2067595 tn?1331227385
I feel just like the way all you guys feel. i am not suicidal or anything. but i am only thirteen. i have my entire life ahead of me. i am depressed and don't understand why. I question my faith and sometimes i don't understand god. i cry about everything: letting people down, being fat, being ugly. i just want to be happy. is that to much to ask. iam afraid to tell my family because they might put me on medication and i hate medicine. if you have any advice for me contact me please. thanks
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I feel the same as the girl in the fist story but im 13... and i dont cry myself to sleep. Ifeel really sad all the time and smiling is foreign to me. My friends have noticed that ove gotten quiet latley and look like something happened to me. My parents are always tellong me they dont like me, im not even exagerating my dad literly said to my face " i really dont loke you, ypu know what? Were gonna send you away" me an dmy whole family alwaus get into arguments and i feel like ill never amount to anything. I feel like nobady in this world loves me... i can barley talk to my friend, most of the time i dont even want to. All i want is to be happy again and have life be like it was before i got stuck in this stupid funk.
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My parents are like that everytime my mums out the house my stepdad just has a go at me all the time and says he hates me he smashed my ps3 up because i didnt clean my room his crazy..
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im 14 years old and i just feel like **** all the time, i have no interest in anything, im sad all the time i cant remember the last time anything remotly good happened to me i have suicidal thoughts all the time, i feel like everyone i know would be better off without me i also cut myself on occassion i also drink and smoke etc. i want to know what i should do i cant even imagine telling my parents my dad is distant and my mum says im worthless to my face i dont know what to do can some1 please help
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hello everyone my name is michael richards im from colorado springs colorado i was born on thanks giving day 1991 im 20 years old now and currently live in florida!!! the reason i give this imformation away is because i hope someone who knows me will read this!!! i read alot of your comments and i felt like u guys needed a point of veiw from my life!! as my life began to grow i began to experience things i could never understand, the older i got the more emotional i grew inside. my family was always strict on the whole successfull thing and strived for me to become something important in life! i went to school got poor grades most of the time. also was sent to the principles office at least once a day.  i grew up a problem child my brothers and sister hated me andin school despized me as part of their family. i was both phisicly and verbally abuse by my parents, i had no friends or anybody to talk to i was and felt worthless to this world. so at the age of thirteen i had made the decition to run away and never turn back. for a few months i lived under bridges, abandonde houses basiclly any where i could i survived off of someone elses income and had no way to make money. as the months soon years passed i started realizing if i didnt turn back i wasnt going to make it to see my sixteenth birthday! so i turned back and went home. for a while things started to seem ok i wasnt in trouble as much my parents moved so i found a friend to hang out with in the new neiborhood. things started seeming great until my mom and dad were arguing about my wellbeing! me being as nosy as i am was listening to their conversation downstairs when i herd my mom ask me to come up stairs to talk to them BTW this whole talk thing was a first for me! normally when i got in trouble i was beatin till i no more tears to cry., anyways my mom had requested my dad tell me... idk what he was supposed to tell me so i wasnt expecting to hear what i was going to hear. my dad had told me that he wasnt my real father. to my suprise i didnt really suprise me. i always had a feeling i was different from my brothers and sister. so i told them  i was leaving for a week to get away from all the ******** and go think about what lies ahead of me! i never went back!! i decided that enough was enough so i once again became homeless with no job food or money just the clothes on my back. my friends mom had realized what was going on so she took me in as her own son which till this day i could never repay her for. i was finally happy i was allowed to do what i wanted and nobody cared what i did . so i started to get into marijuana. i smoked it on a daily occasion. then i started hanging out with more people and started making a name for myself. but i didnt realize that the crowd i was hanging around with was the wrong type of croud. so at about the age of 15 ,16 i started creating more time for myself which eventually statred making me think alot more too!! i looked back at my recent past and relized i didnt know what the meaning of happiness was it really got to me!! so i started drinking to num the pain.  another year had passed and one day i woke up drenched in tears and didnt know why!! i had then realized that i was extremly stressed and depressed . i couldnt find anything to help make me feel better so i started thinking about suicide.  i told myself i wanted to die because i felt worthless, and felt like everybody was watching me but nobody cared or bothered to help. i started thinking of ways to do it like hanging myslef in my moms closet or stealing my dads truck and raming it off the the mounntain cliffs i even thought of putting a gun to  my head and making it easy on myself  and just simply pull the trigger. it turned me into the person i never wanted to be  at the age of eighteen i had decided i was going to end my own life so wrote all over the internet that i was going to kill myself to my family , freinds and even people i didnt know. nobody cared as a matter of fact people actuallu incouraged me to do it my own mom told me it would everybodys life easier if i was never born!! i took it straight to the heart well watever was left of it!! so i went into my freinds moms medicine cabinet and took all her pills bottles. i went into the the bathroom turned on the shower and began swollowing all these pills i can only remeber a few names of them larazapam, oxicodone, fenigan,estrometaphine. as i took all the pills i began to lay in the bathtub that was full of hot water i looked back at my past and thought of the reasons i was doing this then fell asleep about four weeks later i wake up in a hospital with doctors all over me and my best friend siiting across the hall crying.. i stood up ,took all these hoses and wires off of me and began to walk twards him i had tapped him on the soulder and told him you dont have to cry anymore... to his suprise he turned around and had realized i was standing over him that very moment i felt this feeling in my heart like somone had opened my eyes and and emtpy heart and had fillied it with the things that  matter most to you!! since this day i have wondered if god saved me or if i just wasnt meant to die. despite all the regret and hatfullness ive endured in my life i can say i am proud of who i am today if it wasnt for my past i dont think i would be alive and i thank my freinds and family for that!! so just let my life story kind of help you to realize that despite what  your going through,, ur not alone ... ive been throught it all belive me and to say the least im glad this world is full of chaos and regret hate direspect dishonership un worthiness and down right bad because what doenst kill us only make us stronger and we have had alot of close calls i hope and prey this comment will help someone somday to understand what there going through
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Its werid how i feel its simular but different, 3 years ago my parents split i wasnt upset but for some reason things have just gone down hill from there, i got anerexic cose i hated myself and i still do i think im and ugly worthless person at skl im quite and get picked on alot i have my close friends but thier not in my classes i hate being at skl atm i juat deel like crying half the time, at home i dont get on with my step dad we fight alot and sometimes he willl hit me  i just hate him cose since he came into my home everythings changed even my mum its like im loosing grip on everything i lost my mates after i got better from anerexia my whole house has changed and so have i, wen im a round my mates i can sometimes forget about it alll but on my own i cant stamd myself but now my moods randomly changing i will b laughing for no reason then crying afew minuets later, afew months ago i met a guy who helps me but after i got drunk my parents blamed him and my step dad kicked him out my house and made my mum and everyone make sure i never saw him again things got worse as he was my life line i agree tht he did make me start thinking about self harmong but it helped me ao much instead f not earing i hurt myself instead it just meens i can see my mates cose wen i was anerexic i couldnt go out or move cose i could hav died, im easyly addicted to things and have anger issues and control issues after all these changes my grades at skl are dropping masively and im ddoing my gcses now i i smoke and carnt deal without it i drink exsesivley and do drugs and cut myself regulary, i also hav a large group of depressed friends one of them has curentsly been removed from his house and put under 24 hour supervision so he carnt kill himself although i feel upset alot of the time telling how ifeel is deificult i feel emptey and holow like im not me anymore i can barley keep myself on the ground and will do anything to feel better but sometimes i purposeley make myself upset so i can feel somthing but this nothingless i just dont know wat to do i know if i told my mum she would make me stop smoking drinking and cuting which is everything tht makes me feel good and stop me going out to see my mates which are the only things i live for i know without them i wouldnt care about killing myself its only with them do i start to feel normal i know i need help but im stuck i hav no idea what to do :(
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bubbles, my heart goes out to you.  I know it seems like you are somewhere you would like to escape from, and you probably feel like you can't take it anymore.  But let me tell you the good news.  YOU are not the problem.  Trust yourself.  If you know you have not done anything wrong, refuse to be treated the way you are being treated.  I bet most of those girls DO like you but they don't have the strength to stand up to the ***** in the group.  And guaranteed she isn't a happy person herself--the only happiness she has she seems to derive from making other people feel small.  WHY?? because she feels small.  I went through this and I had to be all by myself for a while, with no friends at all.  By junior year year of hs I was class president.  Depression?? you may feel depressed, but who wouldn't under your circumstances.  I think you are probably fine, you just need to get through this storm.  You  will survive.  Be willing to take a stand and have no friends if that is what happens.  Tell your friends that you love that you love them, but cannot continue to be part of a group that is constantly talking about others.  You can do it.
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ifeel yuh :/
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I am a 15 yr old guy in high school,
i have been trying to hide the pain that i just want to let out and i just cant.. im scared about telling any one about this problem because i feel my so called "friends" will just make fun of me. at random times i will just cry to nothing.. and just wish everything went away.. like if you fell asleep and never woke up? thats how i feel. ever since 7th grade ive been feeling this way and my grades have dropped from a & b's to d & f's. i just feel like im seperated from everyone else.
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3095730 tn?1341018290
i dont know weather to commit suicide or not ive tried but i honestly dont know what to do with myself im so depressed help me please
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3178074 tn?1344397194
i think i'm depressed. obviously im writing on this thing. anyways im 15 almost 16, and i just want to curl up into a hole and stay there. i recently went through a really bad break up, and i was really sad about that, but ever since then i've been upset. i blame the break up for this, but in all honesty it has nothing to do with that. i've kinda always been like this i suppose. The reason for being really upset over this break up is cause i was with the guy for 2 years, and he really picked me up off the ground. back when i was 13 i tried to take my own life. more than once. nobody knows about this but my brother who is pretty much my best friend and my youth pastor. i cry every single night. wheather im with a friend or not. i've lost weight, and i cant ever sleep at night. i don't know what is wrong but i wannt it all to end. my chest feels like it's exploding,. most days im numb, but when i do feel something i want to die. literally, andd i used to be really strong in my faith. in god. i want to believe i still am. but that would be giving myself too much false hope. i am very quiet in school, and i hardly have any friends. okay i have friends, just ugh i dont know how to explain it.    i want it to end. i don't know how to tell my parents, my dad is over seize, and my mom works in a hospital, and goes to school at night. it would simply kill them. but i don't know what else to do, i'm afraid things are gonna get worsee. i don't know what to do.
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I am almost 16 nd I am dealing with alot of problems like depression. I need help my parents don't understand and never will they don't even care I just need someone to help me. I have a lot of problems I don't like my parents and my mom's boyfriends acts like he's the boss of everyone please someone help me
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Dude i know exactly what youre going through except i have and extra thum so i always think im a freak of nature and my @#$#@@ teachers are giving me assinments that i did and handed them in and theyre sayin they never got it and i haveto do it but im sill getting a 0.
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Dude i know exactly what youre going through except i have and extra thum so i always think im a freak of nature and my @#$#@@ teachers are giving me assinments that i did and handed them in and theyre sayin they never got it and i haveto do it but im sill getting a 0.
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I feel terrible. I dont know y but i always feel that m the most unlucky person in this world... everything turns wrong. I think to do suicide, but i love my family n my boyfriend.. The fact is that whenever i think that now everything will be ok in my life, next moment all my dreams vanishes. I JUST WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE HAPPILY AS OTHERS DO. I cry whole night, my parents n my boyfriend always supports me but still m depressed....... Please help me guys...
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This is pathetic..what the hell do you all have to be depressed about? Kids in places like Ethiopia wont even live to be teenagers. I'm 18 years old when I was 6 my father died in a car accident, my mother remarried and I've gotten over it. My grades.. there whatever the hell I want them to be and I want them to be great. Donald Trump once said If your gonna think why not think big? Life is great there are more things to do and experience that can and ever will be done. High school ***** that's the bottom line OK. If your not popular guess what its just an illusion that ends on graduation day. The only kids who are always popular in high school and always partying are idiots who will not even amount to dirt in the future. Suck it up pussies, I hope this helped...
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This is pathetic..what the hell do you all have to be depressed about? Kids in places like Ethiopia wont even live to be teenagers. I'm 18 years old when I was 6 my father died in a car accident, my mother remarried and I've gotten over it. My grades.. there whatever the hell I want them to be and I want them to be great. Donald Trump once said If your gonna think why not think big? Life is great there are more things to do and experience that can and ever will be done. High school ***** that's the bottom line OK. If your not popular guess what its just an illusion that ends on graduation day. The only kids who are always popular in high school and always partying are idiots who will not even amount to dirt in the future. Suck it up pussies, I hope this helped...
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***@****
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Email me
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EMAIL ME SO I CAN HELP, IM VERY PERSUASIVE AND A TEEN AS WELL PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I'm 13 and I just havent been... Normal lately. I yell a lot and I just cry when ever im alone. I dont want to tell my parents that i THINK i'm depressed. I think it will just make things work. My dad is a phsyciatrist and I just dont want to talk to him about it. I was going through my documents on my computer and there was a lot saying "I wish I woulkd just get up the courage to kill myself. I'm just wasting peoples time, and taking up space." I dont know why... but thats how I feel. I have been having physical pain in my side sometimes is that the cause? Please help me.
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Im 17 and i think im depressed i have been feeling like this for over 2 years now and i have tried to committ suicide and i went to hospital for a few days and said that i would never try and do it again because of how painful it was but i lied i do keep thinking about doing it again and for the past few months it has been getting worse i cry all the time but i just blame it on my time of the month im angry all the time i snap at people for no reason i want to break things and scream at the top of lungs! I am a huge drama nerd and i love singing but everytime someone mentions drama or singing i get really stressed and get angry! I have recently joined 6th form and this is mainly where all my stress has come from! I am really quite dumb and havent got good grades in my GCSE's so i have to redo some but i just dont have any motivation to do anything because im so lazy! People at my school dont really notice my behaviour anymore because ive been like this for over 2 years now ever since i tried to committ suicide i rarely speak about my attempted suicide but ever since then i feel so unloved by my friend and family! My mum has a fiance that shes always with my father just seems to forget about me and he always makes me feel guilty about things i shouldnt feel guilty about and whenever i try and talk to somebody about how i feel they never listen or understand they just say yeah and then change the subject!
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I'm a 16 year old boy. And i think i suffer from depression. I don't do things to hurt my body, but i just feel sad all the time. Sometimes I'm really happy and just the next moment I'm sad. I can't talk to my parents about it. I tried once but they didn't believe me. I can't sleep much at night, i can't concentrate and i feel like crying all the time. I feel worthless and useless like I'm the only one on earth who doesn't have a talent/purpose. I must say I've been bullied a lot when i was younger. I've shut myself out from the world. I don't talk much and i don't go out much. I prefer being by myself at places where no one can bother me. The only thing keeping me going is the thought that it will be alright one day. But the day doesn't seem to come. I just wanted to say that you all are not alone, we have these problems but the solusion is not to commit suicide! Hold on.. Talk to people with the same problems.
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I feel exactly the same as all of you. Mikmik42 is right you should seek out god, especially during bad times. But I'm depressed now from many of the same things. School is stressful enough but plus all of the popular kids just make it worse. My family is crazy it's just horrible. I feel like i'm missing something, my life just seems boring and dull. I remember when i was younger how I didn't worry so much but now this is all I do. My parents put more stress on me. What i've been trying to do is things i've found on the internet. I play guitar so i play in jazz band and i'm forming my own band. I go to a gym to work out. I use all that anger and i put to working out. Even though i'm very skinny i try to eat very healthy this can effect you're mood a lot. Be social. I've always been a great person to make friends, it was very easy for me but now i just hate talking to people. I have to force myself. You should try to be social. Get outside, the fresh air can really improve your mood. Even though i do all this i'm still depressed. When i was just 10 i was diagnosed with epilepsy and ever since then i've been horribly depressed. Now i'm 13 almost 14 and I've had enough. I've always had this anger at something, im not sure what i'm angry at. Sometimes i could punch a hole in a wall i get so pissed off! Ever since iv'e been diagnosed iv'e been angry at this world, i'm not sure what though. I've been to therapy, it didn't help, it just made it worse, all they want is your money. I don't even know why i'm posting here i'm just very confused and depressed.
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People with depression can't help that they feel that way, yes you have ways to try to avoid it but it's not something that they chose. Ok so other people have it worse than them, they get that and they probably feel even more worse that they feel this way when they know someone else has it worse. Everyone is different and has different personalties or outlooks in life, yours may not be as negative as others but that's YOU not THEM.                                    Telling a depressed person to suck it up or cheer up is like telling someone with cancer to find themselves a cure. Depression is a mental illness. Just like as if you broke your leg or you got ill, you would have help to get better and that's the same with depression although you don't see the pain that people are in. Which is why people who don't have it can't understand why they would feel that way.  I'm 14 and I'm depressed, i act as the most happiest person at school even when i have really crap days because I don't want anyone to notice the depression, i don't want to be judge because as soon as someone hears the world 'mental illness' people assume you are crazy. You can never fully understand something unless you have been in that situation, trust me. Before I had depression I used to think 'what have they got to be unhappy about etc' but then i soon realised when I had it for myself. It's not a nice thing and I'm glad you don't feel this way but there is no need to say it's 'pathetic' and tell people to 'suck it up pussies'... This is a page for people with depression to discuss their issues and reply to the question above, if you're not depressed then you can f*** off and do something else better with your time. ****
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I hear you! don't give up and try to find some help. I'm not an extremely religious person, but you're in my prayers. I hope your current situation is over soon and you can find true happiness :) goodluck
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4452763 tn?1354803009
I am exactly the same! the only difference is 1. I'm british, 2. I'm 16 and 3. I have cut myself and I do get suicidal thoughts.
I feel like I don't deserve to feel upset sometimes, my life isn't particularly great but I'm not being abused or bullied, I'm not disabled or seriously/terminally ill. I think my life is ****** up to an extent, for and example my mum always puts me and my sister second to whichever psycho boyfriend is on the scene at the time,
I rarely see my dad anymore and he doesn't give my mum any money for me (she enjoys bitching to me about that fact, though I really feel like she shouldn't be dumping her **** on me too) but he does give me pocket money when I do see him and he is lovely, but I also know that he's unhappy. My mum was his soulmate, even my sisters (who he isn't the biological father to) think the same, and he lost her - maybe because he was actually a nice, genuine man and she got bored of zero drama - then he got bored of his next girlfriend and dumped by his next girlfriend after that. Her name was Kelly, he was so madly in love with her, she went travelling for a while and when she came back she left him. I'm unsure of the details, I was too young to want to find out the details, all I remember is going to my dads and him telling me they'd split up, and then crying himself to sleep while he thought I was already sleeping. Anyway none of that is revelent, its just that since then he's kind of given up, now hes got a new girlfriend and she is so lovely! he's been with her for years now and they are truly the perfect match, they suit far better than my mum and him ever did, but he just doesn't seem to like her. I mean, i guess he must love her to be with her for what...6 years? I mean its been a while. But also, about a year ago he lent me a phone that he doesn't use anymore, i mean  i thought he didnt use it, but like anyone would I read the texts and well basically they suggested that he is gay. I showed them to my friend, without mentioning what i thought of them, and she concluded that he is gay also. Of course I don't care if he is, i just want him to be happy! It kills me when I think of him crying himself to sleep after the split with Kelly, and I don't want my dad feeling like that again, or feeling like he can't be who he really is. my sisters don't see him anymore so they have no reason to believe that he isn't happy with his present girlfriend.
I also think about how I rarely see my friends anymore - but then I think this  cant be it because when all this, depression or whatever, started I was still in school and I still saw them everyday.
So yeah when it started, I was about 14, i didnt notice it then but now that I think back my whole style changed, i wore darker clothes, listened to different music, stopped going out with my friends, stopped talking to people, i mean people would text me or facebook me or anything and i'd just try my hardest to end the conversation. I didn't even notice myself doing it. My sense of humour changed - nothing was funny. My family even started to dislike me, they noticed the changes but they put it down to being a teenager because I was 'at that age'. They thought I was hard as a rock, they thought I never cried or got upset but they didn't know I cried almost every single night until i literally cried myself out. I also used to cut myself whenever I felt majorly upset, like crying my eyes out, not seeing an end to how I felt. It was nothing serious mainly just scratches using like a compass (the circle drawing ones obviously), and i'd get suicidal thoughts alott, i never tried it. I used to think about how I wouldn't see my nephews grow up and they would miss me. But I always thought they would be the only people who missed me. But when I was at school with my friends  - yeah I suppose we were the 'popular group' even though I never admitted it then  - i still laughed and got on with the day, I was a bit moodier than I used to be but I still got on with them and with my work.
I was also crazily superstitious. I used to say to my mum every night 'lights, windows, doors, carson, kizzie, laptop' - it meant lock the windows and doors, turn all lights off except the hallway light, carson and kizzie had to be in the house every night so hey didn't get killed, and she had to hide my laptop so that no one would see it and feel the need to break in. Also, if my cat slept in my bed, i would have to just accept that I was going to die, because I thought god was giving me one last gift before he killed me. theres more but thats enough of that juju.
Anyway I started to notice what a **** I was being - as I said I didn't think I had a reason to be upset - and I started to recognise the weird things about  myself, the superstitions were the first to fade out, then I bought new clothes,  listened to whatever was in the charts, died my hair to a bright blonde. Anyway that went on for a while, and I did feel better but then I realised I was being a little extreme, i wasnt changing my style to what I liked i was changing it to what i thought everyone else did, so i bought the clothes I actually liked, which are still dark but not in a bad gothic way, i listened to the music i like, some of it in the charts, some of it a little more unknown and i died my hair back to its natural blonde. Only lately i've been feeling down again ALL THE TIME. there is always something to be sad about. i feel like my head is literally ****** and doesn't know how to think. Im getting super stitious again, this time i'm convinced that i can only be happy if i have bright blonde hair, even though i didn't even like the colour. I also don't understand how i still believe that when obviously I know thats kind of crazy. I also cut myself the other night because i felt upset about my life. I just dont see a way out. I dont know if its depression or what, it could just be my age i suppose. Either way I don't want to tell anybody because I dont want people to think i'm attention seeking - because im really not. i just dont know. I cant even handle college anymore, my grades have dropped and i rarely turn up anymore. I'd rather sleep. and so yeah thats my story, boring i know.
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im 18 and i live with my mum.she's been making me angry cause im the only child and for little things of my own im not alowed to decide.(i cant send her to a therapist cuz she's 60 and not logical at all).we all the time fight.and i shout and imagine my self killing her.i also hate my dad casue he is a very bad man.
any way...i feel like commiting suicide or killing others.i dont have enough sleep and when i sleep i wake up in the middle of the night for thousond times.i hate my room our house....i just like to stay in streets!(though i dont ever do such a thing)i dont like my self.
there is one thing that is killing me....i cant understand i should modify my behavier or my mum should do?!
i have flaws and problems but she IS ALWAYS THE BEGINER.
im trying so hard to find my self.and im studing painting in university and i need to find my self to make an art work...
when im tired and come home my mum messes everything up and my dad...it really hurts.
what should i do? it feels like there are lots of things in my head in my life i cant handle anymore....
forget about the thereapist.im not alowed to do so.i dont have the situation to visit one.
any other way? please tell me.thank u.
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Hey girl seems to me your just dealing with life...dont beat yourself up ok..im 34 and have attempted suicide only to wake up on the floor puking with a massive headache busted bloodvessals in my eyes. this attempt failed dec 26th ....i cried because the rope broke and i wasnt even aware i had that emotion. trust me when i say girl ...pick yourself up goto work join the gym. hug a cat and smile...apperantlydeath doesnt even want some of us...life and death rejected me now im stuck to walk like a ghost. im sure next time ill use a gun. always been afraid that it would just mess me up and not do the job....ive lost everyone and everything ive ever loved ..everything that ever loved me beat the hell outta me. and then did it again because i woulkd cry from the pain. guess thats why i didnt think i could still cry..im a guy and have been physically and mentally abusing in every aspect...ive tried to be the best i can be only to find that everyone says im still crazy....And i cant seem to argue them anymore....I see ppl smile and im confused i see someone dead and find myself calling them lucky. i ask for help and everyone wants money....ppl dont care but i do pick your head up girl just remember some of us out here. heaven or hell doesnt want..ill try again hopefully it works
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i ment i was abused not abusing
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I'm a 14 year old girl and most of the time I am happy, but sometimes I have days where I nearly cry at everything. Ex: I left my coat on the plane and when my mom said we couldn't go back for it I was holding back tears, even though it was just a coat. When I got home I just sobbed and I couldn't stop. Then I was sad and angry most of the day after that. Sometimes I just cry myself to sleep for no reason. I get mad and cry at the stupidest things and i hatr myself for umit.I'm usually good at holing it in when I'm with other people though. I really want to tell someone but all my friends just think I'm moody. My dad wouldn't understand, and my mom and my step dad are too busy taking my sister to her therapist because of mild depression. I don't want them to think I'm just seeking attention, but I don't know what else to do.
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(I will be honest): im a 16 year old hispanic teen that lives in minesota in a somewhat ghetto school, i am somtimes happy or depressed. i have no idea what to do with my life when im older. my grades are terrible, my parents are divorced and my social life is messed up. Every time i go to school im always scared of being myself, i was like this since 12 years old. the longest ive been in one school at a time was 3 years. im always moving schools every 2 years or so and i believe that is hurting me as well. im fairly popular at my school. also sometimes when people say something mean to me(as a joke), and everyone else laughs, i get really sad and mad inside, and i just tell them to shut up or something. on the conterary when i talk to pretty girls sometimes i get really happy and confident. also i have a terrible addiction to a game online called WoW im not sure what to do, its like im living two different lives, at school and at home. think of it this way: at school im about that Swag, i drink and smoke weed once in a while. theres NO WAY that i will ever tell anyone that i play that game, otherwise i would get chewed alive at school. im very interested in sports just not at school because i do have one problem, and that is that im pigeon toed. i really am very self concious about my feet, i always try to walk straight at school so no one notices. im not sure what to do...i do believe in God and Jesus Christ i used to go to church with my mom every sunday sometimes even fridays. but now i live with my dad and he doesnt really like to go to church. i think God is the only thing that has been keeping me up. i never think about suicidal or killing myself, but i just think aboutt what people would do and say if i actually killed myself. i dont know what to do...i really dont want to go to a therapist or tell anyone in my family. im sorry this is so long, i just need help. thanks for ready :)
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I know how many people have said this, but I need to ask. I'm almost 13 (so not technically a teen yet, but still) and I think I may be depressed. But it's all based off of no very specific reasons. I had serious family issues over the summer, and it's just kind of balled up since then. But it's because of my family, so I don't know If I want to confide in them. But i think that also might just be because I'm full out terrified of what their reaction may be, and what may happen if they over/under react. A lot of your symptoms happen to me (kind of all) and I've looked up all the symptoms of depression and read all about it, and I'm pretty sure I have it. And I know it's not a proper diagnosis, but I also took the depressed test online, and I scored extremely high for major depressive disorder. I know a lot of people might say I'm too young to actually feel depressed but I do. I really want to tell somebody who would be able to help me, an it seems like at my age only my parents could. But with the issues we already have, how can I come right out and tell them how I feel? Please if you have any response, I could really use it. <3
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Hallelujah!
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Okay so a couple things: I have so many issues that telling my mom about one would mean telling her about all. I am fairly certain that I have depression, I cut myself, I cry myself to sleep, I'm always upset, I have severe paranoia, I have anxiety and panic attacks, and I have a sleeping disorder. I need help, I feel so lost all the time, and I just... if I tell my mom then she'll know how messed up I am. I don't want to disappoint her or upset her nor do I want her to think that I'm attention seeking. I have a serious lying problem so that I lie and don't realize it until after the fact and my mom just thinks I lie to attempt to make my life easier. I don't know what to do, I try to tell her but other things come out instead. I've been like this for years now but after a really personal, bad, emotional couple of months it's just been getting worse and worse... what do I do? How do I tell her?
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Welcome To My World. Im 11 And Ive Had Depression For 7 Years. Its Not Fun. And I Really Hope You Can Get Rid Of It With Some Quick Therapy..
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I'm like this too. I'm 14, kinda popular and do normal stuff. Around my friends I am probably one of the most cheerful and happy people you have EVER seen. I'm outgoing, loud and my friends call me hilarious.  Around them I have an extrememly easy going attitude and am quite a nice person and just get along. But as soon as soon as i've gotten home from school or am alone I'll suddenly become depressed. There'll be a plummet in my mood and I'll start thinking about how I'm not good enough for anyone or anything, about how my freedom's so much more limited than all of my other friends, how I'm not as smart as all of them even though I have the potential to be and how I just want my life to end. I just want it to end but I can't make it. And it hurts me so much. I just can't take life anymore. But I will I guess coz there's no running away from it. I'll just wither and rot like a dying plant
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I am having the same problem. I have a load of friends and I have a best friend also. We have been friends for years now and we talk about random stuff and we are always there for each other. But recently yes I have started smoking pot I'm fully done now because I realize it doesn't help me. I feel so alone all the time and I feel that no one is really my friend or I have no one to talk to. I feel dead inside I used to love Xbox is play it 24/7 and I am fit I was athletic also. But now I barely play Xbox I find it boring or there is no use. I have never thought about suicide and don't think I will but I need help..
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Dont ever feel embarassed about your past. it is holding you back from all the things you can do. i know that it is hard- trust me and also that it can be hard to tell people how you feel but there is a huge wieght of your shoulders when someone is there for you :)
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I know exactly how you feel and I'm 11 every night I am really tired and I just cant fall asleep it's making me feel worse and worse
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My name is Mei, I'm 14 (8th grade) and I don't think I have any close friends. Yeah I have friends that I talk to a lot, but I feel like we're not close.. I have 5 main friends, and they go to each other's houses, hang out, and just leave me out. How could I call them my best friends, when I'm basically just their "friend". I feel so lonely and left out all the time. I don't even care about my life anymore, I'm not suicidal, nor do I cut. I just.. don't care about anything anymore.
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Ya,my story is the same,i donot know,is that really what makes me depressed or what??
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My name is Mei, I'm 14 (8th grade) and I don't think I have any close friends. Yeah I have friends that I talk to a lot, but I feel like we're not close.. I have 5 main friends, and they go to each other's houses, hang out, and just leave me out. How could I call them my best friends, when I'm basically just their "friend". I feel so lonely and left out all the time. I don't even care about my life anymore, I'm not suicidal, nor do I cut. I just.. don't care about anything anymore.
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