im 14 and I think I have depression. there are situations in my life where things had both bad and good sides to them, so its hard to say that one thing in my life is entirely bad and another thing in my life is entirely good. i.e. my mum doesn't let me go out to town with my friends, or do stuff that a normal 14 ear old girl does, but I never ask and take the risk of finding out her response. last year was a really bad time for me, I was having problems at home, I got into loads of arguments with my friends, I started having low self confidence issues and body image issues and I developed a crush on a guy I didn't even know well (I still don't know him well because of my self confidence issues so I haven't been able to talk to him). I didn't know who I was, my identity (what I liked, how I wanted to dress, music tastes, etc) was all hidden. nothing was obvious and I started to feel down. that was when I started spending hours in my bedroom all day not going downstairs. I just felt sad constantly, and most of the time there was no particular reason. I never self harmed, I was strong enough not to resort to it, but at the same time I felt weak and fragile. my mental and spiritual strength started to deteriorate, and I just broke down a lot of the times when there was no reason for it. only just recently ive found out what my taste is in any aspect of life, whether it be in a social situation, likes/dislikes, my personality, anything. I guess things have been improving this past month, ive made loads of new friends and kept the ones that I had before after I realised how amazing they are. but even then, things are still tough. when I get frustrated/angry/hurt/depressed I have the urge to pull my hair out. literally I will tug on it until Im relieved of the stress im going through in that moment. my social life has changed but only slightly, my mum still doesn't let me go out with my friends frequently, but at times she does allow it its not the case of I have social anxiety/I so depressed I never want to go out, I DO want to go out an I do want to meet new people and enjoy myself and have fun, but my mum restricts that and I don't have the freedom that most people are just handed. it hurts a ot to know that all my friends can go out and do what they want within reason. I see pictures of my friends with each other, maybe at the fair or even something as simple as going to town and getting a starbucks, it hurts me and almost makes m envious of how they can do that and not be restricted that freedom that every kid has a right to. if anyone has advice on how I can compromise with my mum and make the most of my childhood while I still have it then please give me some. I cry when I think about how when I have kids and they grow up to be my age and they ask me 'what did you do when you were my age?' and i'll say 'oh I just stayed on my phone or laptop all day because my mum didn't let me out of the house'. I don't want to live my life now like this.