How do I tell my doctor I think I'm depressed without my parents knowing???

[Bran_Bran]

How can I tell my doctor I think I am depressed??? The only time I go to the doctor is when my mum takes me to get more medication for ADD and I dint feel comfortable asking the doctor infront of my Mum. And if I were to book an appointment with out telling my Mum she might not even me go out the day of the appointment!!! I dont see my doctor for at least another 4 months!!! I really want to tell my doctor because I want to knownof I am depressed! I am pritty much positive that I am but I can't be sure until I ask a doctor!!! What am I supposto do??? I don't want my Mum to know because every other time I have told her about somthing seriouse she just ignores it. Like I told her I had a really bad head ace the night befor and that it felt like my face was asleep amd that my right side of my throat was being sqeezed shut she said oh well it dosent now so. I told her it Burt to breath she just told me to take a tylanol and wait to see in the morning. I tell her I stood up to fast and that I think I fainted because I don't remember falling she was more concerned about the towl pole thingy that I tore out of the wall when I fell!!! So I don't want to tell her plus if I did she would probably just be mad and if my step dad knew he would say there's that poor me syndrome again so I can't go to the doctors with my parents so how am I supposto to tell my doctor??? With out my parents knowing and like I said if I book an appointment on my own that my Mum dosent know about theres a big chance that my Mum won't even let me go out that day!!! So how do intell my doctor???

[compnet]

You could try calling your doctor, explain your situation, and just ask if you could speak on the phone briefly and see if that's what it is.

Your Mom/Mum may be more apt to believe you if you printed up a depression symptom list and checked off what you've been having, how consistant and how long.  If you've had it for a while, it's cause for alarm.  If it really seems to be going on with you, and isn't just usual ups and downs of life, then you should be more serious with your Mum, and tell her you're worried.  Maybe even telling your Dad.  If you keep persisting about it, even for a few days, they ought to believe you

In the meantime, you could talk to a school councellor about this.

Here's an excellent website to look over:
http://helpguide.org/mental/depression_signs_types_diagnosis_treatment.htm



You might also read up about magnesium deficiency and depression.

Make sure you are eating nutritiously, with fruits, veggies, nuts, fish, good grains, etc.  Nutrition has a big influence on your health.

[Bran_Bran]

This isent just normal ups and downs I have felt extremly down for mounths now. To the point were I've attempted to kill myself twice and have wanted to many other times. I would of actualy gone threw with it in the middel of the year if I had known what to do!
Just the other night I almost tryed but I was to chicken and selfish! Though I'm glad I dident because I really want to talk to my youth pastor!

I have hated myself for a whyle but it intensified last summer when my step brother was hit by a truck and killed.

I miss him alot I find myself wondering why him and not me? There would of been less pain for everyone if it were me!

And when every time I look up deppresoin on the Internet I have all the symptoms EXCEPT alchol and drug abuse! I have never drank alchohol in my life I don't do drugs and I don't smoke.

Anyways so I'm pritty much positive that I am depressed!
I just don't know how to tell my doctor. I guess I could think of just calling

[compnet]

You've attempted suicide -- that is SEVERE depression.  And from the sound of it, you need both an antidepressant and councelling.  I'm actually with both, and I have noticed a difference, especially with councelling.  My Faith and love for God help me have a proper self-love and respect for myself, and I know it's not love to hurt God, myself or others.

A bodily imbalance will drastically affect your feelings and thoughts, and you really need to see a doctor ASAP.  You considered it selfish and chicken to stay alive, and actually it is loving, generous and giving to LIVE.

Visit that link I gave, and keep that emergency number with you.  If your thinking gets out of whack again, they will help you reason right.  Go ahead and call your doctor ASAP and tell them about the suicidal attemps -- they will fit you in quickly.

[Bran_Bran]

I conciderd myself selfish because I often think it's not like I bring joy to anyones life I only bring disscomfort and annoy them. Why should anyone hang around me when they could be doing somthing productive or at least enjoyable? I felt by me sticking around that I am just annoying everyone!

[Bran_Bran]

And that why should I use the resourses I use when someone usful could be using them. And why should I get my room when someone important could be using this space? I just often feel that the world would be better off without me!!!

[compnet]

I was acting awful and thinking awful due to depression, that came from the side effect of a medicine I'm on.  So I'm on an antidepressent at this time.  Now I'm thinking and acting like my usual, positive self.

Trust me, you are not thinking as you should or as God wants you to; and depression, the bodily imbalance, has a big part to play.  Once you get on an antidepressent, you'll be thinking and feeling much better; it may help you quickly or in a little time.

You mentioned you go to Church...  God created you and He wants you to live and love Him and others.  You are alive because God loves you.  You've got to learn that God personally loves you, and you need to learn to love yourself.  It would also help you if you did some volunteering.

You said: "and yes my church is what has kept me alive I LOVE my church so much!!! And when I told my youth pastor she told me that my joy for the Lord amazes her and and pastor and jas tought them alot. If it wernt for the Lord I probably would not be here today!!!"

Just look at that!  Your joy for the Lord!  And you've taught them a lot.  You ARE making a difference, and I'm sure to more people and in more ways than you realize.  Your joy pleases God so much.  Christians shine like a light to others and spread God's love.

Things will get better with help from your doctor.  Hang in there and keep praying.

Praying for you.

[compnet]

There are also some great things you can do in the meantime:

http://helpguide.org/mental/depression_tips.htm

[Bran_Bran]

I'm actualy going to talk to my youth pastor tomorow and show her my updated journal. I'm not sure if I'm gonna ask this or not but I think if I can I might ask her if she can take me the doctor to get it checked because I know this is somthing I need to do. Because I am sick and tyred of feeling this down I just want to be healthy again!!!

And I never though of it that way that I'm already helping people thanks for pointing that out it's a boost

[Bran_Bran]

Oh and I volenteer at my church every other Sunday night during the school year. I watch the kids whyle the parents have a lesson on good family skills. The only reason I don't do it during the summer is because they don't have the lessons during the summer!!! I have been doing this volunteering for a year or two now I'm not sure or all blends into one year!!!

[Bran_Bran]

I meant I just want to be happy again not healthy again!!!

[compnet]

That is fantastic what you are doing with your Church and volunteering.

I was in bed, about to go to sleep and then I rememberd this...

Please have a watch over the videos in the post below:

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/By-the-Blood-of-Jesus/-FATHER-lOVE-LETTER-TO-US/show/1315375


That is from a Christian forum that you may enjoy posting on.

[Bran_Bran]

Once again sorry but iPod won't let me copy and paste it only let's me copy and paste when I'm typing somthing what are the names of the video???

[Bran_Bran]

Oh and you said in your firs post that I mabey I could talk to my Dad my. My Dad lives Over half way across the country with me and don't really want to talk over the phone about it and I just don't feel comfortable talking to him about it! My Auntie Mummy (stepmother) I would feel comfortable talking to it about but when I call they put it on speaker so my Dad would here to and like I said it would be better in person. And I can't and won't tell my stepdad he'll just say there's that poor me syndrome again!!! And I just don't feel he cares! He always well not for a month or so but always calls me and my one sister stupid usless b***he's. Even though he hasent said it for a month or so it sunk in when ever he said it I just thought way to point out the obvious!!!

So I can't really tell any of my parents!!!! =(

[Relayagain]

Hey I saw your posts and to me you honestly sound like a remarkable person in a great way. You volunteer and try to build a relationship with god. It's rare to find teens who are as caring and considerate as that. Your step father and possibly other surroundings have brought you negative energy from there words. When negative energy is over come by postivity it can lead you to only being able to absorbed the negativity. Depression is an imbalance and is commonly related partly to genetics. You are not alone in the fight to over come it. There are support groups that are available for kids and teens suffering from depression. The fact that your around people your age who get it can really help you in feeling like your fighting this with others by your side. It's also a good way to make friends. You also seem really smart, you admit that you want and need help and you deserve it wether or not you realize that. Asking your youth pastor is a great idea!! Getting help as soon as you can will make recovery quicker and allow you to start relaxing knowing you are seeking help. Also if you call your doctor will be a good option as well. What is discussed will be confidential and once hearing what you have to say the doctor will either talk with your mom or with you and your mom. She will have to listen and your doctor won't take a no for an answer. He or she will be able to provide the resources available and prescribe medicine you may need. Also taking your youth pastor is smart because once the doctor listens to your story and you are provided with resources, her or/and the doctor can talk to your parents and they will have to come to terms on what you are dealing with. Hearing it from a profesional will make them believe what your saying. As far as you step dad saying the "poor me sydrome" is like ignoring the fact that you have low blood sugar when you have diabetes and dismissing it as weak when its not! Its an illness. Depression and diabetes are both illnesses that require treatment to help recover. Your step dad sounds like he may be depressed and when he hears you talk about it he thinks well I feel that way and I don't talk about it like you do. He could be in denial because if your depressed that means he might be depressed because he has the same symptoms as you do. His angry words show that he has trouble with a filter. What he says isn't true and he doesn't mean to hurt you, its like when your fighting with your sister and she says she can't drive you somewhere cause she's going out with friends and you call her the worst sister in the world. You don't mean it but in the heat of the moment you let your words flow freely. I am not saying by any means that this is an exscuse for your step dad's behavior but I am just trying to let you know that he is not aware of the harm is words cause. It could have something to do with the way he was raised, seems like there's some denial about illness between your mom and step dad. Your parents loves you and your family loves you, you can't see this because you don't know how to love yourself as much as you once could. Finding the roots to the depression is something counseling will help to provide you with. Therapy is a journey that helps you discover things and aspects about yourself that you don't even know yet. Depression can fog up your views and only let you see the bad instead of the good. Your sole is beautiful inside and out and you deserve to be happy. Your on the right path in recongnizing you need help.

[Bran_Bran]

Thank you Soooo much Relayagain you comment is the first thin saw when I woke up this mourning. Well except co my celing lol. But thank you your words are so encouraging. And it nice to bear someone say I'm smart.

So are you saying that doctor would tell my Mum even if I asked him not to??? Is it not supposto be confedentail???

And yes I have a frein who is a year older than I that is deppressed though when I'm around her I just feel even more down because she lies non stop you can't trust a word she says and she is always practicly yelling at me. It's not yelling more lecturing. But the thing is I don't need her lectures. They just taree down!!! And she discards everything is say and will be like oh that's not true or that's nothing. So I just get the vibe that she dosent care!

And yes religion and building a relationship with god is extremly important to me!!!!
I dident know that my persanalyity and love for helping is rare!!!!

Actualy me wanting to help people is one of the main reasons I want to sing for a career
I want to sing because for obvisly it's fun and I love to sing and it's somthing Im good at but more importantly I want to help people. I want to be a role model and I know how much lyrics to song can really help someone threw a hard time heck Lucy by Skillet saved my life!!!! The song talks about people missing a lost friend and I listioned to it in the prespectve of people around me!!!!
Plus I think people need a role model to look up to that isent perfect. That has had their share of problems. If I were to make it into the music bussiness people who may also be going threw depression could mabey learn from me how to deal with it!!!! Or even someone who has body image issues they might be able to learn from me because I have my issues with my body to. (wanting a flat stumic and not caring of I have to be under weigh to have it) though I'm a healthy weight now!!! But anyways I just really want to help people and I can really express myself threw lyrics and I think songs that actualy mean somthing are the best!!!

Thanks for your comment it has me in a great mood hopfuly it lasts!!!! Though it's kinda declining because my parents are yelling down stairs. But I'll just re read over your comment and hopfuly that will boost my mood again!!!! Thanks

[compnet]

It's unfortunate that your family is verbally abusive and insensitive.  That certainly plays a part in your low self-esteem.  Focus on what the loving people in your life have said, especially the people at your Church.  Love builds up, rather than tears down.  In councelling, they can definitely help you with building up your self-esteem and give help with how to deal with the abuse in your family.

I was praying for you through Church, today, and hoping you are doing better.

Please let us know that you've made it to your doctor and let us know how the treatment is helping.

[Bran_Bran]

I'm not sure if I'm going to see a doctor I want to and relize I need to but I just don't have a way

I dident see my youth pastor today =( she is camping with her daughters becuase it's her last chance to have qality time with them befor they go back to university.

So I'm going to have to wait tell next Sunday to see when we can talk

even though indident get to see her I'm glad she got to go camping with her daughters she really deserve it

[compnet]

You had said that just the other night you tried to commit suicide.  This is serious.  You've got to try all the people you can, perhaps the youth leader will be your last resort, but you've got to try others, whoever is soonest, as you need to see a doctor ASAP.  This depression is severe.  Don't question if they'll believe it, just do your part of telling, you've got to, for your safety.  This is no time to wait.

Remember, if you get suicidal again, call the suicide hotline or call the hospital.  If you end up at the hospital, they will put you on medicine that will help you.

[Bran_Bran]

I dident actualy try to kill myself the othernight I wanted to but I couldn't bring myself to do it
One more week can't hurt me!!! I don't think so anyways and if it hps I might talk to another pastor somtime this week I talked to him the iter day and he knows about le almost trying the other night  

[April2]

Bran_Bran, you mentioned your one joy is your relationship with the Lord and your church. You see, God is holding you together! And He wants you to have joy here on earth, too. He has nothing against physicians and medical help. Even Timothy, in the bible, was a physician. Sometimes we need medicine to help us feel better, sometimes just for a little while to get over a hump in our lives, sometimes we need to take something for life. There's no shame in that. Like someone mentioned, a diabetic needs medication and someone with severe depression can benefit from medication.
Be patient though, sometimes it can take a long time to find the right thing for you. I do urge you to talk to your youth pastor and your doctor. Your doctor can then talk to your mom and help explain things to her. It's best if your mom and dad know what kinds of medications you are on so they can help monitor things, especially in the beginning. I don't think you should keep it from them.


You also mentioned losing your stepbrother to a terrible accident just last year. If you and your family have not had counseling to deal with this tragedy then it doesn't surprise me the way your family is acting or the way you feel. I don't thnk any of you have properly processed all of this and gone through the grieving process. Everyone responds to grief in different ways but you all need help, not only with how you each are dealing with your own grief, but also with supporting each other through this.
Please, talk to your youth pastor about this too and ask for referrals to a counselor. See if you can get your youth pastor to talk to your mom and dad if you feel they are not listening to you.
You sound like a very kind, giving person and I know God is pleased with you but I also know He wants you to have peace and joy in your life. Keep the faith, keep praying and keep talking, to your mom and dad, youth pastor, doctor, etc. You deserve to be happy and feel good!
God bless you! Keep in touch and let us know how you are doing.
April

[Bran_Bran]

My step brother was my step moms son not my my step dad so my mommand step dad are not effected but this and my dad lives on the otherwise of the country to drive and see him is 2 -4 days 2 if you don't stop to sleep. So I can't talk to my dad about it and I don't feel comfortable teliing him for se reason though I do want to tell my step mom but when ever I call to talk to her it's on speaker so my dad hears it to. So I can't really talk to them about it and I just do not want my mum or step dad to know my reasons I have said ateast once above

[compnet]

I think April made some very good points.  Especially about talking to your doctor, and seeing if he'll talk to your Mom.  You should call your doctor and explain the situation.  You could also call your stepmom from a separate phone when no one is around.

[Bran_Bran]

The problem isent people over hearing I can just go to my room and since my dad works nights nobodys really up and moving when I call anyways well deppending on if I call at 7pm or 1am but the problem is I don't want to tell my Dad yet I'm not ready for that. But I know if I were talking to my step mom alone with out my dad there to I might tell her if conversation went that direction. My step mom is so easy to talk to I kinda want to move and live with her and my Dad but i can't leave the 3 main people in my life behind a pastor who go's to my school every Tuesday and Wednesday my youth pastor and the guy I have liked since the day I met him 3 years ago if my Dad lived down here I would but I can't leave those people behind plus schooling is alot harder down there I already have a hard enouph time!!!!

[compnet]

Just work on telling the doctor and someone you know.