I hate myself...

[Sarah_Skittles]

I am not sure if I should put this under the depression topic or not..
I hate how I look.. I am about 5'7 and weigh around 190.. I am 16 going on to 17 in September..I hate my body and sometimes just want to take my fist and hit my stomach.. I have tried so many ways to lose weight but it dose not work.. Plus I get really stressed especially if its during a school year.. I used to get so stressed I would puke , sometimes this would go on for weeks.. And most of it has to do with how I see myself..
I see myself as fat ugly and worthless and sometimes I wish I would just die so I would not have to live my life dealing with my ugly self..
I used to cut and am struggling with it.. I cut from 6th grade to 10th..am now going on to 11th..
I would not say I have had a crappy life... My dad used to beat me and my mom was a alcoholic that used to take me out with her when she went to drink.. but things got better after a while..
I don't know what else to do..No matter how hard I try I am not happy with myself.. :cry: I am sick of feeling this way... I just want to be happy..

[margypops]

Life ***** sometimes and we all feel bad, and you did have a hard time when you wre younger, have you someone you can talk to about your feelings another Family member or a friend, Have you got plenty of activitys in your life , when your thoughts become negative about yourself write them down, make a journal, the Bad things and the Good thing s about you, there are ways to lose weight now go to google and see how you can do it ,there are other Teens with the same problems, Join a Forum and see what they do to help them selves.When you feel mad at your self get rid of that energy, get busy and try not to let your thoughts creep in when we feel bad its always our thoughts that do it.Forget about how you look ,you probably look better than you think you do anyway.

[margypops]

Dont know why the asterisks are there I didnt do it.

[Sarah_Skittles]

Well thanks for the advice... I always seem to have a hard time with talking to people in real life about how I feel..I don't know anymore.. I try and keep as positive as I can but sometimes when people are pushing you further down its hard to be positive..
And I think you said a word the site dose not like.. "su cks" I assume..

[margypops]

Right it was ***** Ummmmm ,you know you can stop other people 'pushing you down' you have your own life and the way you handle it and what you feel about yourself is the Important thing,it doesnt matter what they think especially if these are the same people who abused you. Stay away from them and then their negativity has got nothing to feed on, its their problem not yours Prove them wrong!

[claire87]

Sarah i just want to say that i do know how you feel because i sufferded with body dysmorphia disorder for years when i was a teeneger.like you i wasnt actually ugly i just saw myself as ugly.when you look at people that have to deal with disfigurments and facial disorders it puts it into perspective how lucky you really are to be you.saying this i know that wont help because in order for you to feel beautifull you have to find what makes you happy,and take your mind off this.im now 21 and it wasnt untill i left home at 15 i started to accept myself.i still battle with my own demons about how i look but i no longer obsess over it.please beleive me that this will pass and the more you do for you the better you will start to feel,i dont beleive that pills for depression are the best thing i think theyre the last option.if you need to talk to someone then just mail me x