Aa
I feel trapped...
I'm a 16 year old girl, and I feel completely trapped by everything and everyone, including myself. I'm not the person that I want to be. I want to be a person full of confidence, to feel loved, and to love myself for how I am. Ive Been with my boyfriend for 6 months now, and I absolutely love him, but I have trust issues because of my past... I easily get jealous of other girls he hangs around, and I always assume the worst when he's around them or even talks about them. I know they're just friends, but it makes me feel bad about myself. My parents also don't help with this... They're always on my case for the littlest things. It's almost like they want to pick a fight with me all the time. I hate it, cause I always end up being the one in the wrong. I feel like I can't escape all of these feelings and events, and they're all just crashing down on me all at once. I've been becoming very depressed lately on the inside, showing no one how I truly feel in the outside. Please, I really need help... I've been considering suicide, or cutting just to get away from it all. I know it's wrong, but i'm really starting to feel like it's the only way out..
Hello, love:
I've said it before, but being this age is probably the hardest time. We're just starting to figure out who we are as individuals, and that can be one confusing ride, to say the least. Figuring things out can be hard enough, without the addition of relationships. I've twisted myself in knots over the years, and as painful as it may have been at times, I'm thankful for it. It's a lesson learned, and hopefully a lesson passed on.
Jealousy is a heck of a thing. It makes us a little nuts, hurts us a little more, but it tells us one VERY important thing: How much we care for a person. That is something you should never put yourself down for, because truly caring for someone is the most amazing thing that you can ever do for a person; it takes courage, and a whole lot of heart.
The difficult part is learning how to deal with it. I've been there...I suspect that we all have, and it's all about approach. With all things in life, I've come to learn that I need to stop, take a breath and REALLY look at what's in front of me. You know that they're just his friends, but it certainly doesn't feel that way in the moment, so stop, breath and look at what's going on. You make just find out that that girl is actually just a boy with long hair :P. Hey, I've seen stranger things. Though a little off the mark, the point is that we need to step back from things sometimes to really see them. And be honest with him -- tell him that you really care, and acknowledge that you will work with him. Because it does take work.
...and parents. Where to begin with parents?? They're going to be tough on you no matter what; mostly because their parents were hard on them. It's not an easy job for them to get on you for the little things, but parenting is hard on them too, probably down right scary. You need to roll with the punches, because even though you don't see it, you're growing a thicker skin because of it. I hated my home life in my early teens. I was raised by a schizophrenic single mother, who ended up running out when I was 15, but she was HARD on me about everything. You realize years later, that it's like building up an immunity...
It's kind of like running. You run a little bit every now and then. It hurts, it *****, but you keep doing it. One day you get out there and realize that you can just keep going; that they pain doesn't set it like it used to, because you're past it. It may sound cheesy, but guess what, have you ever tried building up endurance?? It works, doesn't it??
But like you said, it all adds up. There's no denying that. But I will say this, there are ways to ease up on this. The absolute worst thing you can do, is sit inside your own head, thinking. I can't tell you how many hobbies that I have picked up over the years because of this. We're our own worst enemy, and a horrible one at that.
Thankfully this doesn't last forever, and the experiences that will come in the next couple years will be the BEST of your life. I miss grade 9 and 10 like nothing else, and would do it again in a heartbeat. That's when you grow. It's your time for 'firsts', and a great many of them. Don't ever stop getting excited about that.
Coming here takes a great deal of courage, and even more so to be truthful about your faults. Few can do that, and I commend you on that strength. Though I don't know you personally, that tells me a whole lot about your character. With that kind of strength, no amount of cutting will help with any pain -- it'll be pointless for you, but will crush those around you. We need love, we need attention, but the right kind.
Get out there and help another, say something nice, give someone a hug, or just open up to someone. I know it probably doesn't make sense to put yourself out when you're the one in need, but you'll be amazed what comes back. But above all else, keep talking, keep being open, and keep getting these things off your chest. We're here to help; i'm here to help.
- A new friend :)
I've said it before, but being this age is probably the hardest time. We're just starting to figure out who we are as individuals, and that can be one confusing ride, to say the least. Figuring things out can be hard enough, without the addition of relationships. I've twisted myself in knots over the years, and as painful as it may have been at times, I'm thankful for it. It's a lesson learned, and hopefully a lesson passed on.
Jealousy is a heck of a thing. It makes us a little nuts, hurts us a little more, but it tells us one VERY important thing: How much we care for a person. That is something you should never put yourself down for, because truly caring for someone is the most amazing thing that you can ever do for a person; it takes courage, and a whole lot of heart.
The difficult part is learning how to deal with it. I've been there...I suspect that we all have, and it's all about approach. With all things in life, I've come to learn that I need to stop, take a breath and REALLY look at what's in front of me. You know that they're just his friends, but it certainly doesn't feel that way in the moment, so stop, breath and look at what's going on. You make just find out that that girl is actually just a boy with long hair :P. Hey, I've seen stranger things. Though a little off the mark, the point is that we need to step back from things sometimes to really see them. And be honest with him -- tell him that you really care, and acknowledge that you will work with him. Because it does take work.
...and parents. Where to begin with parents?? They're going to be tough on you no matter what; mostly because their parents were hard on them. It's not an easy job for them to get on you for the little things, but parenting is hard on them too, probably down right scary. You need to roll with the punches, because even though you don't see it, you're growing a thicker skin because of it. I hated my home life in my early teens. I was raised by a schizophrenic single mother, who ended up running out when I was 15, but she was HARD on me about everything. You realize years later, that it's like building up an immunity...
It's kind of like running. You run a little bit every now and then. It hurts, it *****, but you keep doing it. One day you get out there and realize that you can just keep going; that they pain doesn't set it like it used to, because you're past it. It may sound cheesy, but guess what, have you ever tried building up endurance?? It works, doesn't it??
But like you said, it all adds up. There's no denying that. But I will say this, there are ways to ease up on this. The absolute worst thing you can do, is sit inside your own head, thinking. I can't tell you how many hobbies that I have picked up over the years because of this. We're our own worst enemy, and a horrible one at that.
Thankfully this doesn't last forever, and the experiences that will come in the next couple years will be the BEST of your life. I miss grade 9 and 10 like nothing else, and would do it again in a heartbeat. That's when you grow. It's your time for 'firsts', and a great many of them. Don't ever stop getting excited about that.
Coming here takes a great deal of courage, and even more so to be truthful about your faults. Few can do that, and I commend you on that strength. Though I don't know you personally, that tells me a whole lot about your character. With that kind of strength, no amount of cutting will help with any pain -- it'll be pointless for you, but will crush those around you. We need love, we need attention, but the right kind.
Get out there and help another, say something nice, give someone a hug, or just open up to someone. I know it probably doesn't make sense to put yourself out when you're the one in need, but you'll be amazed what comes back. But above all else, keep talking, keep being open, and keep getting these things off your chest. We're here to help; i'm here to help.
- A new friend :)
I get it, my best friend is in a similar position.... when you cut your not the only one that hurts, never forget that. im always up for a chat, good luck <3
(continuation of above comment) Good luck and feel free to contact me if you wanna talk or are just bored.
Hey, just take a minute to relax. First, congrats about the bf...I have yet to really be asked out. But, since he asked you out, it means he really loves you too. He picked you ABOVE all the other girls he knows.
The problem with your parents isn't as bad as it may seem. A way to fix this is to tell them that you feel like they are over-reacting sometimes. It's important to trust them cuz something you really need to do is tell them all this. It's time to show them how you feel. You cannot hide this on the inside for any longer. The first step was telling us, the people that you do not know. Tell the people that are in your life, the ones that you know care about you.
And, as a former cutter, I CARE that you are considering cutting and suicide. How did I avoid doing something I might regret? I realized I didn't want to hide the scars anymore. I realized how many people would go crazy if they knew what I was doing. So, this is me at 11pm, typing to you on my ipod, basically begging you not to harm yourself and to settle this thing with your parents. This feeling you have can go and will go away, but only if you want it to. Your mindset is half the battle. Think 'I want to get this **** over with!' and go and do it! G
The problem with your parents isn't as bad as it may seem. A way to fix this is to tell them that you feel like they are over-reacting sometimes. It's important to trust them cuz something you really need to do is tell them all this. It's time to show them how you feel. You cannot hide this on the inside for any longer. The first step was telling us, the people that you do not know. Tell the people that are in your life, the ones that you know care about you.
And, as a former cutter, I CARE that you are considering cutting and suicide. How did I avoid doing something I might regret? I realized I didn't want to hide the scars anymore. I realized how many people would go crazy if they knew what I was doing. So, this is me at 11pm, typing to you on my ipod, basically begging you not to harm yourself and to settle this thing with your parents. This feeling you have can go and will go away, but only if you want it to. Your mindset is half the battle. Think 'I want to get this **** over with!' and go and do it! G
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