Just Want To Know I am Not Alone

[wings_take_flight]

I have been suffering depression ever since the seventh grade and I am now in my eleventh grade. So in all that is four years, I ended up going to the hospital for cutting and contemplating suicide. I love to watch myself in the mirror as I see my blood flow down my arm. It is a huge relief to see it because I lose myself in it. But I do not do that anymore, well I am fighting myself not to do it. Whenever I see blood, I get the craving to just cut myself up. Instead I just scratch myself now.

I suffer from insomnia and paranoia, they go hand in hand. I can't go to sleep because when I close my eyes I get all paranoid. Plus I get horrible nightmares as well. They are images no one should have to go through. The pills I take are supposed to help but whenever I start my period I end up just going back to my 'normal' self.

I want to know if anybody suffers from the same thing.

People, please know as well though that depression is not a 'fashion' I would never wish this on my worst enemy. No matter how much I hate her/him I would never wish this on them. It is not a 'fashion' it is not 'cool' to have it. So if you are just faking please do not post here. I want to know and hear from real teens who really have depression.

[twitch65]

hello,
Know this, you are never alone. You can always talk to someone and they'd understand. Like now. =) I've been dealing with cutting for a while. I used to suffer from insomnia. And a little bit of Paranioa. I havent cut for a little while now.. but the temptation will always be there. I stopped because i was forced to decide what was more important.. your friends and family..? Or the feel of the blood? Im very happy to hear that your trying to stop. It is best to talk through it. Sometimes when i try to explain it to people they just dont get it.. so when i feel that temptation i do something else. Something that will let me express myslelf without cutting. The paranioa is still there a little bit. The thing is, is that you gotta tell yourself that everything will be okay. Because it will. =) My insomnia just kind of worked itself out. I was falling behind in my work.. and i just had to force myself to sleep. Music helps.
If you need anything just let me know.

t.

[goodgardenpeas28]

Youre totally not alone, I have had depression since the 8th grade and used to cut all the time, honestly I love doing it , Im 19 now  and despite that love have stopped cutting, am so much less depressed and I'm dealing with everything. the PMS still gets me, i used to get suicidal every time i had my period but birth control really helped that. I used to have insomnia and paranoia from depression and anxiety  but meds have really helped with that! the  cutting is an addiction that can be overcome, meds probably wont help that, but talking to someone might lessen the want to cut? idk but best of luck, feel free to contact me if you wish to talk

[Angel_Avril]

I've suffered from depression for two years now. I cut, I get a 'kick' from doing it I guess. It's like my drug.
I had a breakdown last week, attempted suicide, getting shipped off to a psych hospital next week I think, since there is no improvement whatsoever.
I also suffer from insomnia, but not so much paranoia. I just refuse to sleep. I don't eat much either. I gave up taking pills, they make me lose more weight and I cannot afford to.

Yeah, I agree, I am sick of people that just use depression as an excuse 'oh yeah, I cut. I'm emo.'. It gets old fast and it's tough to listen to people. Some start like that and it ends up full blown. It hurts to think someone WANTS to be depressed and cut.

You're not alone. Best wishes.

♥Angel.