How do I know if I actually have depression?

[BlackRose98]

I don't know what to look for, but I think I have it. Any help?

[dalgaiw]

Hi there

That's fabulous news!  :-)

I'm so pleased to hear that and I also really enjoyed reading your upbeat post.  Good luck and I'm glad I could be of some help.  I will look out for any new posts on this thread.

Take care. x

[BlackRose98]

Hi again! I think my parents and I are on the right track again, I can feel that they've let loose a little about me getting a B. They just need to know that I try as best as my abilities can handle, and I do as best as I can. I
would like to thank you for keeping posted on here, you've really helped a lot. :) I think my parents and I are on the same page again, but it will be a couple of days before I am positively sure. Thank you again, and I will definately keep this posted, just in case something occurs. :))

[dalgaiw]

I was just reading thorough one of your earlier posts and reading between the lines it sounds like your parents have high expectations of you in regards to your homework.  When you said:

"I know they are dissapointed in me. I can see it in their eyes. Today, they started to get all upset just because I got one B in a class on my report card"

It makes me think your stress is a direct result in feeling like you can't live up to their expectations.  Perhaps they need to step back a bit and give you some breathing space?  All parents want their children to do well and sometimes they don't realise the pressure they are putting their children under.  I am pretty positive that they are NOT dissapointed in you.  When my children don't do as well as I expect them to at school, I'm not dissapointed in them at all, I'm just concerned why their grades are falling.  The most important thing for any parent is that you are happy and healthy.

If you feel like you are struggling in your school work you should definately talk to your parents and teachers about it.  Pressures to peform can definately lead to depression and really your mental health is WAY more important then a few top grades.  Honest!  It's your life and you need to feel like you are the one in control.  Sorry to rabbit on!

[dalgaiw]

Hi

It's great you are talking to your Mum about your emotions.  Could it be that you are stressed about your school work or is something else making you unhappy or angry (do you sleep well)?  Anyone who is stressed will feel irrritable and angry.  You need to find the root of the problem and it definitely sounds like you need a break.  

You could look at your hormone levels and see if that is a factor.  Visit your doctor and explain how you feel.  Ask him if it could be your hormones or anything else (if you can't figure out if there are any other reasons).  They might be able to do tests and find out the cause it all.

But it does sound like you need a break.  Can you take any time off from your studies?  Perhaps talk to your tutor?  I know that is probably not an option though.

Sounds silly but regular exercise is really good for you especially if you are stressed or depressed - even if it's just a 20 minute walk in the fresh air each day.  Also making sure you are eating a healthy diet, lots of fruit and vegetables and try cutting out the additives if you can.  Try and get at least 8 hours of sleep a day too.  Lack of sleep is tough on the body and makes it harder for you to function well during the day (believe me I have 3 kids and I know about that one!).  

The good thing is that you are aware that something isn't right and you are doing the right things in seeking help.  I really hope things improve soon for you.  Keep me posted honey and take care.

[BlackRose98]

Thank you, I just had another talk with my mom today, but not about depression. About how irritable and somewhat angry I have been, and I really can't explain it. Right now, I am just so stressed. I don't know if I can make it for the last 9-10 problems on my homework.

[dalgaiw]

Yes these services are most definately anonymous in the UK, but I can't help you about charities or services nearer to you unfortunately.  Talking to your Mom is the first step and I wish you the best of luck, hopefully this will bring you both closer and help you to feel better about yourself because you are surely worth it.

Take care.

[adgal]

I know sometimes it can seem tough to talk to your parents.  But trust me, they do love you and want what is best for you.  If you don't feel you can approach them with this, is there a school counselor or a teacher you feel might listen to you?  Or maybe your Dr?  It is very important for you to find someone who can help you work through this.  The teenage years are tough.  I remember all too well.  However, they can also be incredibly wonderful years, and you should be able to enjoy them as well.  Like I said, so many deal with depression and the great news is that there is lots of help out there for you. But honestly...give your parents a try.  I suspect you'll be pleasantly surprised.  Most parents will do just about anything to help make sure their kids are healthy and happy, and I bet yours are no exception.  However, if you really really feel you can't do that, then please find an adult you trust.  I saw in one of your journals you sometimes wished you were dead.  That tells me that it is very important that you open up about this.  That's no way to feel...life can be tough, but most of it can also be pretty fantastic and you have an incredible future ahead of you.  You sound like a very bright (only 1 B...wow, that's great!!) and self aware person.  You deserve to be happy.  

[BlackRose98]

Thank you so much. I have to talk to my mom, and I will do as you suggested. I will write a letter to her and put it in her purse right next to her phone; (she always uses her phone). I don't really know about the helpline, I'm still worried that they still might know who I am, can you really do it anonomously? Thanks again, :)

[dalgaiw]

I really feel for you and hope things get better for you soon.  You definately need someone to talk to about how you are feeling.  Find a way to talk to your parents, even if it's by writing "I'm sad and I don't know why, can we talk?" on a post-it note or in an email.  They love you and would want to help you I'm sure.  It's not always easy to try and discuss your deep feelings with your parents in your everyday routine.  My son is 15 and he talks to me more when I am alone with him in the car (driving him somewhere) for some reason, but I enjoy our chats and it makes me happy to think he can talk to his Mom sometimes.

I would like to add that it is quite normal for teenagers to feel like this.  Your hormones are all over the place and you need an outlet.  Have you got any friends you can talk to?  Perhaps you could call a helpline?  In the UK we have two charities called the The Samaritans and Childline.  They are phone numbers you can call and talk to anonymously - someone who will listen and offer useful advice.

Good luck, I hope you feel better soon.

[BlackRose98]

Thanks. I really appreciate your help, and unfortunately I do have many of the symptoms you've listed, even some more others that I have researched online and such. I just don't know how I can talk to my mom or dad about this; I'm usually mad at them all the time and I know they are dissapointed in me. I can see it in their eyes. Today, they started to get all upset just because I got one B in a class on my report card. I know they expect a whole lot more of me than any other parents do about their kids, but sometimes, I just feel like I can never meet their expectations.

[BlackRose98]

I'm a teenager. I don't know, sometimes I just feel hopeless, other times angry, and most of the time just plain sad. I have been having emotional outbursts more frequently now, and I keep feelig worse every day. I really just act like I'm alright, but inside, I feel like I'm suffocating. I don't know how to talk to my parents or a doctor about it, but I really feel the need to see a psychiatrist.

[adgal]

I think depression is a bit different for everyone.  If you suspect you may be depressed, it is very important to talk to your Dr.  There is all kinds of help out there from therapy to medication depending on how severe it is, and what you are comfortable with.

Some common signs are a lack of interest in things that used to make you happy.  Some people find themselves wanting to sleep more, or taking less interest in things such as their appearance or personal hygiene.  Many also just feel sad a lot of the time.

I urge you to talk to your Dr.  And, if it is serious enough that you are having any thoughts at all of hurting yourself or someone else, then it's ok to call 911.  And don't feel ashamed. If you do in fact have depression, you are not alone.  So many people suffer from this in one form or another.  It's really rather common now.  Best of luck to you, and I hope you decide to see your Dr.  

[margypops]

How are you feeling, what makes you think you have depression, can you give us more details, how old are you ?