I pushed all my friends away

[MermaidVision]

Firstly if I'm going about posting this the wrong way I'm really sorry I'm new and a bit confused by this site. I'm 19 and was first diagnosed with depression when I was 16 it was believed it was my job that caused it and so I took myself off medication when I left. However I gradually began to feel worse and worse until the point I am at now and so I am back on medication. As I said I feel I am at my worst right now I never want to leave the house or bother getting dressed I have no motivation to do anything and am always ill. I am constantly upset by my paranoia and stopped trusting everyone around me as I believed they werent really my friends or I just felt like a burden to the others. Eventually I've managed to push anyone close to me away by ignoring them and I no longer have anyone to talk to I need support from somewhere though any advice? What should I do about the friends I once had none of them ever seemed to understand but I cant tell wether that was just in my mind.

[April2]

You're welcome. :) I'm glad if I could help. Did you check out the depression forum yet?
One thing that has always helped me was finding bible scriptures that brought me comfort, showed God's love towards me, etc. I've had boughts of depression at times and so has my teenage daughter. I think our faith has really helped us though.
Take time for yourself every day and do something good for you. It's not selfish, it's nurturing. We all need it. *Warm hugs*

[MermaidVision]

thank you so much you have no idea i was ready to tell my best friend tonight we shouldnt talk anymore but your right i havent really given them a chance ive sent an email that was a great idea i find it hard to talk about it in person so thats helped loads if tried to explain the side effects and the medicines too
i have an appointment with my doctor on tuesday so i will talk to him about how i am feeling then
i think that forum will really help me it will be a relief to know my friends are there for me but have people on here to talk to who can relate also
thank you so much for your help

[April2]

It's hard for anyone who's never experienced depression to understand what you are going through. You can send out an email to your friends explaining why you've been closed off and see if that helps. Don't be surprised if they don't understand, though. Like I said, until a person has experienced depression to that extent it's very difficult to understand what you're going through.
Are you seeing a doctor? If you feel the meds aren't working you may want to talk to him about possibly switching to a different kind or upping the dosage. Don't attempt to do it yourself, though. You need an experienced doctor to help with this.

We have a depression forum on this site too that you may like to investigate. You might get noticed more and get more helpful advice there. Let me know if you have trouble locating it and I'll see if I can help.
I hope things start to look up soon for you and you will begin to see that light at the end of the tunnel.
God bless,
April