is it deppresion or something else

[rene323]

Okay I'm 20 years old I broke up with my girlfriend of 5years.in the begining I felt great cuz I was free evendow I still felt love for her.within a week of leaving her I started talking with a girl we got together with the quickness n broke up in 3 days of being together.I dint wait I got with a second girl dint work out either all in the same month.then I desided these girls are not making me happy let try again with my love that I was with for 5 years when I tryd talking to her she denyd me dint want nothing to do with me.so I whent on a drinking smoking and I even tryd ecstacy.crazy month.it was the end of that crazy month n I took another ecstacy pill it hit me right away.I'm not a drug user it was just this month.the last ecstacy pill got me feeling it instantly then it broght me down with an image that still haunts me till this day.I saw my self in my own funiral with my love crying in line to see my dead body.wow freeked me out I stayed in bed all night.I fell asleep.the next day I dint feel good I whent home.but I dint feel like my self I popped the pill on friday night this was saturday morning that I dint feel my self.saturday I was home alone I was feeling anxiaty n deppresion more anxiaty than deppresion I dint know what to do.I was feeling like I was about to pass out.I picked up my cell phone to call an ambulance when I recived a call it was my love.I told her wat was going on.she sayd come over ill take care of you.so I did go over saturday night I was trembly she feed me food.I dint feel hungry.I spend the night with her.sunday morning felt great all day was back home alone dint speack with my love all day.monday morning woke up to go to work felt like s**t no energy my brain was tierd I tryd drinking orange juice water,vitamin water n a cookie thru it all up.I got out early from work whent home.monday night dint sleep at all tuesday morning I whent to the hospital stayed there untill thursday morning.all the time I was in the hospital I was trembly n deppresed I was alone.its been 3weeks since that happend been trying to work things out with my love n stressing with bills and car payments.I feel like I damaged some nerves in my brain I'm not the same nomore.I can't sleep the first few days that I came out from the hospital I sleeped good because of the meds they gave me quetiapine to bring my serotonin level back up I'm okay feeling good during the day can't sleep at night since I finished my meds n I still can't sleep good I don't wana use meds because I'm scared to get addicted.I feel my brain is gana stop I feel my heart racing n I'm scared it will stop too.I wana be normal again.what is it deppresion or a mental disorder.I'm really scared I don't wana die. And I don't wana live like this for ever.please I need feed back.I'm sorry for all the info I just need to talk to somebody.I'm really down.I live in los angeles I'm 20yrs old n I'm not a frequent drug user I'm a massage therapis.been doing good in life untill I broke up with my love.help

[Princessdaniella]

When You were in hospital did anyone speak to you about seeing a therapist for the problems You're having'?
It might help if You had someone to speak to at the moment someone to vent to, to let it all out.
I hope that You do not ever feel the need to take those drugs again as any drugs are bad and do not help in the long term.
It does sound as though You're depressed at the moment, I think it is best You try and organise an appointment with a counsellor or therapist when You're able to go and not working.
Best of luck

[rene323]

Well I beem trying to but I have no medical n im don't have money to pay the consult.I feel that a therapis will help me a lot.like I sayd I'm not a frequent drug user n with this at hand ill never use drugs ever again.I actualy been talking to people that I know that are drug users about the effects that drugs have on the mind that makes me feel better n this here just made me feel good thank you for the comment its nice to know that this site help.thank you princessdaniela ill look for a therapis n I will try to get better.

[Nat_16]

There is some phone counselling services if you cant afford a therapist consult, the free phone counselling service might be ok for you until you get other options.  Im not sure on any numbers because im not from america but Im sure you could get them from the internet or from a general dr's office without making an appt.  Its worth a try.  Let me know how you get on.

[rene323]

Thank you ill ask around I look in the internet I just want to get better so I can enjoy life.I never thought I could feel like this.I don't want to live like this for ever.thank you.ill keep you guys updated on my status

[Princessdaniella]

I am sorry You are unable to afford to see consult at the moment.
I am really glad to hear that you do not want to continue to use drugs and that you
will stop. Your friends are right and drugs can cause an awful impact on someone mind
and mental health. I hope Your able to find a free therapist/counsellor soon and you're welcome. =)

[rene323]

So you guys think its deppresion.because I'm scared it could be a brain disorder from using ecstacy.It gets me angry because my friends n my love n my brother they all think I'm acting up.but I'm not I really feel bad I really can't sleep.they say its all in my brain that I can control it.I wana be my self again my brain feels like it need rest all the time but as much as I try to relax I still have stuff going on in my brain like I'm always thinking.I feel like my heart is always speeding they check my vital signs and I'm okay ughh deppresion or ecstacy messed me up?

[rene323]

I noticed that the meds the hospital gave me helpd me sleep good n I would wake up great.seroquel 25mg but I'm all out.now I take advil pm to help me sleep they put me to sleep but seroquel help more.it helps my seratonin level up.since all that deppresion n drugs got my seratonin level way down.they say it takes time to bring it up.

[Princessdaniella]

Seroquel is an antipsychotic and while it may help you sleep for this short time (this is from someone with experience with the drug) I would be careful taking it and relying upon it.
I was placed on seroquel at a very young age and am still fighting to stay off it 10 Years later. Seroquel is a short term benefit while it may be good for those who are use to it I would never suggest it to someone who has never been on it. The side effects of trying to stop the tablet for eg; if you ever want children and can not take it during pregnancy are horrid. I do not understand why it was prescribed to you as it is not used to treat depression

[rene323]

I don't know either well they actualy gave me only 6 seroquil pills so I'm off it.for the past days I couldn't sleep I been trying really hard to fall asleep bye my self but I couldn't there is just to many things going on in my brain.so I took advil pm it put me to sleep but like I said I don't wana rely on meds.but there is hope sunday night I sleeped all on my own wow feel good whent to sleep at 12am and woke up to go to work at 9am its still feel like I'm messed up in my brain but I'm glad I fell asleep on my own aww great.I had a good family time with my brother and sister inlaw on sunday we went out to eat n I told them my situstion they gave me good advise.since my mom n dad are in vacations in mexico oh how I miss them lol.they made me feel way better.I just need to let go of my "love" and move on.I don't want to move on I love her.we will just see what every day brings me.hope I get better soon.thanks a lot daniela u have been really helpfull :)

[Princessdaniella]

You are more than welcome. I really hope You get better soon and I am glad You do not want to rely on medication. Sometimes people need medication to help them and if that is the case than it is best but I just think Seroquel is hard to stop once You have been on it for awhile. I am still struggling with my sleep and I have been off it about 5-6 months now.
I am glad Your brother and sister inlaw took you out and You had a good time, it seems as though it was a good distraction and nice to be able to speak face to face with someone about your fears and problems who is in your life.
Will Your Mum not be coming back'? I know exactly how you feel in that situation I love my Mum dearly and not a day goes by I don't wish I could just at least hear her voice but unfortunately yes in some situations you do need to move on.
You can message me anytime hun if You need to talk or want support or anything.
Thinking of you

[rene323]

My parents will be back soon.in a week.for you a massage is free.today I dint sleep at all my brain is gitery I am really scared.

[rene323]

I'm sorry I ment message how do I do that?do I just go to ur profile n message you.I'm really tierd I wana sleep but I don't know why my brain won't let me ugh

[Princessdaniella]

Yes You click on the name of the person (the name in blue) and on the right hand side up the top it will offer You to message that person.
You need to type in a subject like an email though otherwise it will not send and than write the message.

[rene323]

ok daniela

[bcbudqueen420]

Breaking up with a loved one you spend years with can be devastating. Living with someone for years you grow acustom to them, there living. It put a lot on you, and caused you to feel alone. E is not a good thing to do, and does mess with you rbrain depending on what kind you use. Take 5-htp the next day as well as vitamins, it will give you back the seritonin as well as putting your body back into  abetter shape. You may feel odd for awhile, but it does take awhile to get over things. I say wait a few months before judging anything.