What should I do?

[Penguins57]

I'm a 15 year old girl. I've been severely depressed for about 5 years now. I've had depression for about 10 years now. My parents are divorced. I've lost many family and friends to death. I've had brain surgery, heart problems, stomach problems, breathing problems, and ankle problems. I've been bullied every year of school. I can't keep friends for very long. I push people away. I get hurt a lot. The list goes on and on. But lately, it's been really worse. I've been put on an antidepressant, and that helps, but I'm still very depressed. I tend to get very pissy and upset very easily. I remember when I was little, if someone would just tell me not to do something, I would start tearing up. I don't enjoy getting up every morning anymore. I dread everyday, and I love sleeping. And my parents are no help. I've told them before I'm depressed and they just say I'll be fine. Just the other day, I got into a huge screaming fight with my father over me using too many of the families phone minutes. He called the number that I used the majority of them on, which is my boyfriend that my parents don't approve of cause he's 18, (which is bull because I am very happy with him), and told him that he could not talk to me anymore. (which didn't happen). And he was trynna guilt me into feeling bad by telling me that he spends all this money on me for drivers ed, and going to football camp, and this is how i repay him. to leave barely any minutes for the rest of the month. So I packed up my stuff and left. and my mom came and got me. It's just stupid bull like this that **** me off soo much. Plus, one of my friends had just commited suicide July 4th. So I haven't been the happiest person in the world. People just suck. I tell like my mom, that I hate people. ): People love to use me and abuse me and I'm so tired of it. I dont wanna commit suicide, but I don't know what to do about this. ): Any advice.? I'm losing my mind here.

[jpaul119]

I just came across your post and wanted to comment.  I feel for you and your situation.  It really concerns us adult parents to see a teen like yourself struggle.  You have had to make discisions for yourself that you thought you would never have to do.  You feel that it is not fair.  That life is passing you by.  These issues and worries add to depression.  I can say that you show a maturity that most teens do not have.  You have been forced in to making mature discisions and deal with mature situations.  You are becoming a survivor.  You have alot of unexplored creativity that you want to work on, but life situations are getting in the way.  You take everything personally.  I am a father of a teen and see this in her and many of her friends.  Peir pressure from school and other teens is overwelming.  In these situations, you need to find the safe places to go to.  The places that let you recover and have a sense of peace, and that you are appreciated.  I have known of some teens in physical abusive situations.  Verbal abuse can take its toll on you.  I am glad you are not in a physical abusive situation.  You seem to be getting care.  As a parent, we are not well educated on raising and confronting teen situations.  We did not take a class on it.  As a teen, you are in a similar situation because you were not educated on how to deal with parents (and rules), other than what bad things you hear from your friends.  So, it is a two way street that both parents and teens learn from.  Many parents resort to the way they were raised.  

I would look for a good therapist, psychologist.  I you dont feel that your therapist is inspirational, try another one.  You need to feel some inspiration, some lifting, some satifaction.  You will not find this in just any therapist.  You may need to do some research and find some reviews.  They can understand your situation that parents may not.  

I wish you well.  

[Penguins57]

I am on antidepressants and I do go to a therapist, but I do not enjoy talking to her, and I am not comfortable talking about personal stuff.

[sjf77]

I'm sorry for everything you're going through.  Some people don't understand mental illnesses and think that it's something that you can make go away on your own, which is not true.  A couple of things I would encourage you to do: first, look online for some sort of teen crisis line.  There may even be one in your area, but they are usually a 1-800 number and they are run by professional counselors who can be of help in situations like yours.  The second thing is when you start back to school, schedule an appointment with your school's guidance counselor.  He or she is there to help you and they can offer suggestions of what to do to help you feel better. They can even talk to your parents and help them understand what you are going through and that it is a medical condition and that you do need professional help, whether it be through therapy or medication or both.  I hope I've been of some help.  Take care and I hope you feel better soon.

[whitecat78]

sounds like you had a lot of tragedies in your life, which could cause depression and anxiety. i can relate to how you feel about people, i have feel the same, but there are good people out there also and a lot of ignorant people which drive me nuts. you just need to work on your goals and interests, find the right people and environment, then you will be a lot happier.