Male Providers Only, Please...

[Sierra584]

I remember a TV that used to promote a prescription drug that was supposed to give relief to middle-agers (and older, I assume) who suffered from suddent and frequent urges to urinate. It had a catchy little jingle that went something like, "Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go RIGHT NOW, Gotta go, gotta go RIGHT NOW." Some of you will no-doubt remember this, especially if you were one of those who suffered from it.

Well, I didn't suffer from it then, but I believe I do now. I know I should see a urologist, but I have a serious problem with the idea of allowing females to either perform a genital exam or be present during it. Exactly why this is the case is a matter that goes beyond the scope of my post, but it is.

So naturally, and with all due respect to female health care providers, I'm not going to visit one. And if I visit a male provider, he will no-doubt employ half a dozen female nurses and MA's, to whom he is likely to delegate most or all of the exam proceedure. And I will not allow it.

I have also noticed that if a woman wants a same-sex exam scenario, she can have it pretty much whenever she wants; she simply visits a female doctor, who will rarely if ever have a staff full of men, working under her (Title IX or no Title IX). However, male patients do not seem to have the same option, pretty much no matter where they go. Or DO we?

Do you think my request that only males perform the necessary prep-work and exam is sufficiently reasonable that most physicans would at least try to accommodate it? Or should I just stock up on Depends and live with it? I'd like to get some thoughts on this. Thanks.    

[Sierra584]

Thanks so much folks, I appreciate the support, especially the post from someone who appears to be a member of the medical community. Or perhaps you both are. In either or any case, many thanks for your encouraging words of support and understanding. This matter has been troubling me, literally for decades, and you've all been a tremendous help!  

[Andrewfedup]

Wow, I thought I was the only one, the medical community has absolutely no respect for male patients, like we are not supposed to mind when a female has her face in our business. I just do not understand why someone has nott started a fully male staffed medical office yet, I know we are not alone on this.

[Edward2]

Sounds very reasonable, however  in many doctor's office's you may have to settle for the janitor, for want of another male!
Personally I prefer female practitioners. I find that, generally, they are gentler and more understanding. I remember one time that I needed a testicular ultrasound (years ago) and when the tech (female) found out that I was male (don't know who else she thought she was doing a testicular ultrasound on!!!), she refused to do it. Since there wasn't a male tech on duty I had to drive 20 miles to another hospital, which I didn't appreciate. I think if the patient has a problem, that's one thing; but a tech needs to be professional.

[bubbabubba]

I centainly understand your situation. I am a teacher in an Alabama community college/ We have a nursing program and I have taught lots of nurses in my area. At the local urology office, I asked for the male physician to do the intimate things himself and almost always he did so.  A couple of times, he indicated the women there were better at some things than he was. He employed NO MEN to assist him in the office. There are 4 male urologists and about 16 FEMALE workers. There has only been ONE of the women who I will consent to do things on me because I simply can't deal with it being who ever is available when I happen to be there. After changing to another urology office in a near-by MUCH larger city where a mecical school is, there was no problem with male nurses doing what I wanted them to do. I did have females in the OR there but they did NO PREP work on me,as per my request. I had also  asked for all males in my hometown hospitals and for 3 prostate operations they did that for me. I tell all men--DON'T HESITATE TO ASK if you would like a special consideration. I think sometimes they are just so used to doing what they do, they don't think that a GUY might have a modesty issue. I indicated at the last hospitilization 3 weeks ago that I was NOT comfortable having a mlae nurse observe my catheter (I didn't have a problem and he DID NOT need to see under the towel over my lap)--he backed off and said ok....I asked the next day nurse to bring me a syringe to deflate the balloon and let me remove my own catheter, as my urologist surgeon had said I could do and she complied....Again-- if you feel strongly about this....ASK FOR ACCOMODATION and if they are unwilling to comply, ask what the alternatives might be that could put you more at ease---ie special draping, etc.

[Sierra584]

Wow! I took a look at that site, and for the first time in 30+ years, I don't feel like the world is a black tuxedo and I'm a pair of brown shoes. Thanks so much for that!

[pencelli]

you are most certainly not alone.

see http://bioethicsdiscussion.blogspot.com/2006/05/patient-modesty-more-significant-issue_11.html

and you will feel less isolated. If you are paying (or your insurance company), don't let them railroad you into something you don't want.

[Sierra584]

I really appreciate your thoughts on this sensitive matter. Well...sensitive to me anyway. Thanks.

[tlh777]

this is not an unreasonable request.talk to the doctors and you will find one that will help you.