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Penis numb during sex. Due to masturbation?
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Penis numb during sex. Due to masturbation?

I'm sorry, this is going to be a bit much, but I'm going through a tough time in my life right now because of this, so any help would be VERY appreciated.

I'm a 19 y.o. very fit guy who just got into a relationship in march with the girl/woman (feels weird saying 'woman' at this age) of my dreams and have been regularly having sex (or trying to) since. I was a virgin before this relationship. Side note, I had been masturbating frequently since probably age 15-ish...often once every day (sometimes with porn, but I don't think it ever got bad enough for that to be a factor. Now, porn disgusts me).
Another interesting tidbit is that I seem to be very easily distracted. If I get any sensation at all in another part of my body during sex (tired arms, itch on my leg, etc)  my mind seems to lose focus on what really matters and I struggle to not go soft in her. Very frustrating...could it be ADD?
And yet another important point is that I can't really 'turn on'. It's like my brain has set up a mental barricade, stopping me from feeling the essential emotions. It bothers me because my girlfriend can get turned on from even the littlest of things. I don't know what to do about this one...could be connected to long-term low self-esteem and/or the fact that I haven't been in a relationship in a while.

The problem(s): I have trouble getting/staying hard for her. Pretty much the only thing that gets me hard is my girlfriend straddling me, naked. I've never had trouble getting and staying hard while masturbating, and I randomly get hard doing random everyday things, but when we're naked, it immediately goes soft. Which leads me to some form of anxiety, but I don't consciously FEEL anxious at any time, even during sex. I still believe it must at least be psychological, right? And what do I do about it?

Another problem is that during intercourse, I gradually get numb. I can usually last something like 15-30 minutes before it's so numb I struggle to stay hard/climax. And it's only my member that goes numb, nothing else. Could it be from all the masturbation in my past? Has it killed the nerves in the shaft? if so, how long am I looking at for it to heal?

--Thanks a TON in advance. It means a lot if anyone could help. (and i can give you any additional info if this website allows)
4 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_n_tn
Hey man,
I read in the Male magazine by a doctor that porn can actually lead men to have difficulty getting hard during intercourse. He recommended quitting cold turkey and not returning to it. I know you've indicated that you're no longer using it. I wonder if it might take some time to not affect you. Do you have to think of porn while you're doing it w/ your girlfriend? If so, porn might have a residue.

Now don't take this the wrong way, and I'm not asking to be rude. Do you he any feeling for the same sex? If so, there's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm wondering if that might have any impact.

  
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Avatar_m_tn
Yeah, I know how badly porn can effect men when it comes back to reality, but I honestly haven't been even close to bad about using it since maybe high school...something like 3 years ago. Nonetheless, it probably has hurt me at least somewhat. And no, I really haven't tried thinking about porn while with my girlfriend...doubt it'd help. I'd probably hate myself even more if it actually worked haha.

And no. I have put thought into it, and can honestly say I have no attraction toward the same-sex in any way. (and don't worry about it, man. It wasn't taken 'the wrong way') :)

Thanks for the reply!
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Avatar_m_tn
hey mate, I started masturbating when I was 11. now I'm almost 30. I'd like to share with you and others out there having the same issue some of my experience.

over the years I have masturbate probably 5x a day on average. sometimes more, sometimes less. when I was younger I tried to reach a personal record which was 29 times in about 12 hours. yeah, believe it or not. even now close to being 30 I still love to masturbate, easily 4-5x a day. now this is where the problem is.

you learn to be comfortable with yourself, too comfortable. you know exactly what you need to make you ***. hard and fast strokes over a long period! but a penis is a gentle organ and not meant to be opened that way.

the problems for me started when I reached the age of about 25. I used to love my ****, brag about my big size and not be afraid to say or show it. I never had any performance issues before that, was always rock hard and could go multiple times four hours. in fact I was never satisfied and always hungry. then, out of nowhere I noticed that my **** started getting less hard during sex, sometimes even limp. for me and my mind that was a shock! I thought I'd be the last person on earth to experience that. but! the excessive masturbation over the years finally caught up even with me! I had still trouble less times during sex, but times where it wasn't 100% hard increased. I thought it was the pussies fault, that I needed it tighter and harder. and yes, I still need that but in reality it has nothing to do with that. its all due to excessive masturbation and desensitizing your penis. luckily though, if you stop excessive masturbation the senses will return, thank God. its hard I know, but with discipline you can do it. leave it for a week or two. then if you masturbate try not to exceed 3x a week. which I still find hard even with regular daily sex, most days multiple times of sex. its like battling any other addiction... you need discipline and control. I can promise you that you will have hard ones again the way you wish. fight that addiction!  

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Avatar_n_tn
Hey Cheezisgood. This thread is from 2012 and I want to hear how you are doing? I have the same problem as you and I was wondering what you did to resolve this problem. When I first had sex I literally didn't feel anything. It wasn't even pleasureable. I hope too hear from you! I could use some advice :)
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