Im a 16 year old boy, who used to be 5 stone heavier, but i still worry about my weight, and is really cautious about my weight. Help?

[ConorPee]

Hello.
I am a 16 year old boy from London, i used to be 17stone5, but lost weight in a year and is now current between 12stone and 13stone - it varies.

I am VERY weight conscience, and i always ask people if im fat, or if i look overweight, because i have low self esteem because of what i used to weigh. Im 6ft1, and is currently between 12 and 13 stone, is this an alright weight to be? Because i cry over it, and get really upset about my weight. Im a size 32 waist and im a M in tops.

I calorie count, but i do not do it accuratly, and i just want to feel good about myself, and sometimes i think, 'oh i look good' or 'oh i look skinny' in a happy way, but mostly its 'oh i look fat' i just want to be confident again, but i cant because of my past appearance, and i am really worried and conscience now, i think im fat, i think im ugly, i think im overweight, but i know deep down im not. but i keep thinking it, and its stopping me from getting a love life and all that, because im no self conscience.

Does anybody have any advice?
Thanks x

[Jaquta]

Well done on your weight loss -that's a great achievement!

I always get a little confused about the numbers.  We use metrics in my country.
There is a thing called Body Mass Index or BMI which could help you determine whether you lie within a healthy weight range.  The formula for this (I think) is weight (in kg) divided by your height (in m) squared.  Between 20 and 25 is considered healthy.  
This measure isn't always accurate though.  It doesn't take into account muscle mass, build, etc.  For example, players in, say the English rugby team, may be considered overweight when in fact they're a healthy weight.

As a rough measure I use a persons height to gauge an approximate weight (+ or - a few kg).  1.70 m -> approx. 70 kg.  1.85 m -> 85 kg.  2.0 m -> 100kg.
Like I said, it's just a rough measure.

I wouldn't advocate calorie counting for someone your age (or quite possibly anyone.  Unless there were medical grounds, etc for doing so).
I think it would be more important to eat a healthy, balanced diet.

I would probably advise talking to someone about the issues you have with body image.

I had body image issues when I was younger and they still affect me and my life.  I would strongly recommend you find ways to overcome this self-consciousness.
You could possibly regain your confidence by participating in activities you enjoy and are good at.  Just a thought.  Do address them though.

One of the doctors on this site recommends focusing on reality.  You may have been fat once but you aren't now.  

J

[Jaquta]

Hey
I think talking to someone (a school counselor, etc) would help you - a lot.
I think you're going through some big life changes and it would help to be able to talk them through with someone.
I'm not judging you but some people might and it would help if you had the confidence in yourself to stand up for yourself.
Never lose sight of who you are as an individual -be that fat or thin, gay or straight, etc.  Belief in yourself is incredibly important.

Take care and good luck
J

[ConorPee]

Um, im gay, and yeah there are a few guys im interested in, i just have no confidence though. its annoying, but thanks i will x

[Jaquta]

Maybe you could start by acknowledging the changes you've made (and perhaps even reward yourself for them) and by learning to accept that this new, different image is you.
It's an exciting time.  Don't let your memories of how you once looked hold you back.
Your self-confidence should grow the longer you maintain a healthy weight till it is no longer an issue.

You mentioned your love life.  Are there any girls you're interested in?
Just remember, it's what's inside that matters the most.

J

[ConorPee]

Aww thanks, im just too self conscience, because i look in the mirror and see my old appearance, and thats horrible

Thanks though x