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Boyfriend can't keep erection during intercourse. What do I do? H...
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Boyfriend can't keep erection during intercourse. What do I do? How do I talk to him about it?

I'm having sex with a 23 year old guy.I really like him and we seem to have great chemistry.The only issue we have is that he has a major problem maintaining an erection during intercourse and/or oral sex and he has NEVER ejaculated in the very many times that we have been intimate.I am more successful at keeping it hard during oral sex but still no ejaculation.After the erection goes away, he still acts and seems very much aroused and wants me to continue stimulating him but there is no erection and it takes A LOT to get the erection to come back. Sometimes it just won't come back and then I give up.One other thing that I have noticed that is different in him than in other men I've slept with is that he has a somewhat painful look on his face during intercourse and arousal and I'm unsure if it is just a weird "O" face or what. Plus I have to be on top almost 90% of the time.I can tell he has somewhat low self confidence which make me think that I'm not the only one this has happened with and also I am slow to bring the subject up to talk to him about because he avoids my question. I've tried asking him what he likes me to do and he either doesn't respond or his response is simply "whatever you do is great". During the moment of "failure" when he looses his erection I try my best to act like its no big deal and help boost his confidence but I can't help thinking that I could possibly be the problem and it hurts my confidence as well.
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Avatar_n_tn
sounds like you are taking the correct approuch by trying to talk to him. How long have you been together, if  not very long maybe it is a confidence thing.  My exboyfriend had a similar problem but after about 6 months he pulled right out of it.  I know it would be difficult but did you ever thing of a male enhancing product?
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Avatar_f_tn
I am Married, and my husband and I have experienced this from time to time..In general we have no problems..Here are a few instances where he has been affected: After we have a baby, I was breastfeeding and could not be on the pill, so we had to use condoms...my husband had a very hard time with this...it seems the condom had an effect on his feeling down there, and he could get an erection no problem, but than lose it during sex...I would often be irritated and upset thinking I had something to do with it (btw, my husband was 23 at the time as well)...So eventually I went back on the pill, and we no longer needed condoms.that problem was solved...Until we started to try to concieve (conceive) our second child ..I was pressuring him so to do "it" all the time and when I ovulated, that we started to have erection issues again...He couldn't deal with the pressure and stress, he felt like it was all on his shoulders to get me pregnant..I was so upset, because after this would happen, I felt like my chance had passed and I wasn't going to get preg this month, But I would try to act like I wasn't upset in bed and would try everything to make it happen for him, even all those uncomfortable positions he liked..It still wouldn't happen..I was often frustrated, upset, and felt like it was my fault, i felt responsible...The point of all this is, once I sat down with my husband and talked, he let me know about the stress he was feeling and how this was effecting him in bed...So there was physically nothing wrong wih "him'', he just couldn't perform under pressure, and once it happened, It had a snowball effect, he was constantly thinking about what happened last time and was afraid it would happen again..So in your case, Is our bf under a lot of pressure, from work, school,ect, or is he under a lot of stress to perform?? This could be effecting him..if he is uptight and always thinking about or afraid that it might happen again, this could definately be affecting him. The best thing to do would be to talk it out, figure out what is going in in his head...Once my husband and I did this, we started having the best sex of our lives!! Good luck to you and I hope for the best!
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I think he needs to see a doc and have a thorough check up.
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Avatar_n_tn
I think a consult with a Urologist would be helpful.
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Avatar_n_tn
i am 18 and dating another 18 year old. when we starting dating it was great and we slowly progressed through basis. then about 8 months ago we started having sex. the first time was funny as i expected but the second time was great. didn't use a condom the first to times but then decieded it was safer (duh). and thats when the problems started. during the nest 4 times after penetration i struggled to keep my erection for very long. but i assumed this was down to confidence, then after about 2 weeks we managed it fine. I thought the problems were behind us but then about  6 months ago we went on a break from sex for about 4 weeks and since then i have not preformed. At first i tried to ignore it blaming it on condoms being to tight (which they are but dont think that is only reason). recently e have started talking about it and she wants to know what she can do to help. i have tried asking her to put on condom but she couldn't do it in time and now i have hinted that she go on pill but does anyone have any better advice.
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Avatar_n_tn
I recently separated from my wife of 4 years, because she decided she didnt want a family.... I eventually started seeing a totally gorgeous, younger little angel who helped me through the rough patch.  She told me early on that she was a virgin, I saw this a a responsibility, not having ever been with a virgin, but we managed just fine and it was great.  Although our antics arent as wild as I have been used to, she really turns me on and I really like her.  Problem is that I am having trouble maintaining an erection.  I tried pills but found them touch and go and got headaches, she even sugggested we watch porn together, which we did , but still no joy.  She is being cool about it, as I am still able to satisfy her orally..... but I don't want her to feel bad for my problem!  I am 36, she is 24.  help anyone?
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Avatar_n_tn
I have been with my boyfriend for 10 months and two weeks ago he showed me a side of him that I have never seen before (he was very angry, depressed, and stressed because of college). I have graduated and I am looking for a job to start my independent life and he is still in school at 26 years of age (I am 23). We made up since then but every time we are intimate (usually it is him who wants to get it on) he loses his erection after a few moments after penetration. I am on birth control (depo shot) and we don't use condoms. This has happened before at the beginning months of our relationship but it got better as he got to know me more. Anyway, I wonder if this time he is just not into me any more or that he has other issues about school and life. He has been a little distant lately and doesn't want to hold me or cuddle as much.

P.S. He has taken me for granted by showing up late or making me wait for him.


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Avatar_n_tn
I am 20 and my boyfriend is in his 30's. He doesnt smoke cigs but sometimes a hooka and he does drink occasionaly. I do not consider myself to be an ugly girl or a prude in the bedroom, and I try my best to try new things and wear things that will keep him interested. However the last few weeks when we have intercorse he cant seem to keep hard the entire time. Even when giving oral I notice I have to work extra hard to keep him hard. He always "finishes" at the end but the process getting there is becomming more and more unsatisfying for me. I dont offically live with him but I am at his house almost all of the time. I am starting to become more and more worried that he is either bored with sleeping with me, or he is cheating on me. I dont know what to do and I am stressing out about our relationship. We have been together almost 8 or 9 months. i need suggestions or help
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Avatar_m_tn
I know a few months have passed, but I hope you and your boyfriend have worked things out. Otherwise, let me give my advice:

It's not you, it's him. He's become stuck in a mental "catch 22" where he wants to have sex, in his head, but his body doesn't want to commit to doing it.  This is because he probably trained his body to respond sexually mostly in short bursts in solo situtations.  He may be overstimulated with the thousands of sexual images he recieves a day from society and is sexually exhausted.  

The cure is to detox from sex ALL together for about 4-weeks. During that time, only do things like go to movies, visit family and friends.  No pornos, strip clubs, raunchy movies, etc.

As far as physical affection: hug but no heavy pettting and definitely, don't sleep together.

After about 2-weeks, beginning passionate kissing but no touching genitals.  Instead, focus on training the entire body to feel "thrills" for a long time - as this is what he has lost.  Play with each others different body parts while playing your favorite love music.  Just don't allow him to break your agreement because it is in HIS best interest.  

By the 4th week, I'd expect you to have broken the agreement which is what should happen. : )
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Avatar_m_tn
I have only had success with condoms a few times. The problem that I have though, is that when I do not use a condom I struggle to avoid ejaculating early. As soon as I put the thing on, I can start to feel "my man" falling asleep until he is normal size. This happens no matter what sexual act i am doing, or who I am with, size or type of condom (i have tried sooooooooooo many) and has effected me for my whole sexually active life. I don't feel that I should pop a pill to keep me artificially stimulated, as I am very stimulated but can't maintain. i was married for 7 years, and even with someone I was totally comfortable with, there was nothing she or i could do.
For the ladys reading, trust me, it is not your fault. The only thing I have found that worked for me (although confronting for the lady), would for both of you to get STD/STI checks before trying without the condom. There are many contraceptive options available which may ease this option also.
I have been humiliated a number of times because I couldn't perform, and I almost psych myself out now when the time comes to put the rubber back on. Very difficult for me to break this issue to them, and definitely effects my sex life.
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Avatar_m_tn
i have been with my gf for about 2 months but now every time we try to have sex i cant keep my erection. I am fune untill the point of penertration but then i just cant seem to get it back up. i am 17 and she is 18 we dont use condoms as she is on the pill. we havent tryed talking about it and just try and avoid the subject.I am under alot of stress from work and from college and dont know if that could be the problem.

have never had a problem like this before (she is my first time tho could that be some thing to do with it)
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Avatar_f_tn
My fiance had this problem when we first started having sex..... He use to masturbate at least 3 times a day. Then when we got together, he had other things on his mind since he hadn't had sex for about 10 months. We tried to have sex but he couldn't ejaculate. After a while of him feeling bad about himself... and just waiting and not trying often... he could preform with out any problem. Sometimes (rarely) he can't get hard but that is usually when he is very tired. Now we have no problems, But I learned that the main issue was that he was afraid of getting me pregnant... We will be married soon so he no longer worries about it! Try taking a break from sex and see if it helps! Btw I was 18 and he was 24, now I am 19 and he is 25.
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Avatar_m_tn
Well, im a guy, im 18 years old now but my problems are from when I was 17. To be blunt I havent attempted to have sex in over a year because im scared ******** of failing sexually. I will always talk a big game and flirt and get numbers but thats where it ends. Ive gone on a few dates but never invite or accept to go back to girls houses cuz im so scared.

Im a recovered drug addict and I have substance induced anxiety, I was still having serious anxiety when I attempted to have my first time (17 years old) and i was sooooo nervous and i was like having an anxiety attack and i couldnt get hard or stay hard long enough to do the do. It was with a girl i had only just met and we tried for the next two weeks everyday and i was always super hard flirting and touching and kissing and everything but as soon as we got naked and i had to put it in i just like i dunno id go limp.

I have dreams about it, It constantly bothers me because her I am getting all these numbers, im sober and stable im currently a sponsored bodybuilder and i got a college football div 1 scholarship in canada and yet i ******* am scared ******** of having sex. I talk a huge game i tell people at work how i ****** this girl and that girl but i honestly have only had "sex" (i managed to stay hard for a few minutes a few times...if that) like a dozen times.

is this performance anxiety because I can like jack off 5 times a day, i get erections all the time its JUST when i think of actually being intimate with someone i get limp and anxious. please help!
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Avatar_m_tn
My boyfriend and I haven't had sex in over two weeks because of this problem. We don't live together. I am his first ever and he is the first person I've ever really enjoyed sex with. We don't live together but we're very serious. We've been together about seven months.

Last night, I felt him gling soft and tried to revive his erection by going down on him. As soon as I put my mouth on him he lost it all the way and we had to stop because he was limp and I was angry and hurt.

THis has been getting worse and worse over the past month or so. It went from being just once or twice a month to being ALL the time (past two weeks).

He says it's mental. He says it's a vicious cycle where he feels himself waning and then freaks out and can't get back up. Then we end up sitting in the living room in silence until one of us starts talking about the problem (usually me). Talking about it makes him even more afraid next time. And so goes the vicious cycle....

I have never gotten frustrated or upset until last night and it was such a blow (no pun intended) that I was trying so hard and he couldn't respond to me. It feels like he is rejecting me.

I am an attractive woman, in my 20's, teach yoga, very fit and I'm adventurous and passionate in bed. I do NOT understand how I'm doing it for him. I don't understand how he could get bored of me because I'm NOT BORING. I know I am giving him the greatest, most passionate sex he will ever get. I know I'm a great girlfriend, and would be and amazing wife.

It does't hurt my confidence as a woman because I've been with several people and this has certainly never been an issue. But it does damage my confidence with him.

He said he's crazy about me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I feel we are right for each other and we're deeply in love. He says I am exactly what he wants and I feel the same about him....except of course for the sex issue.

He still likes to touch and cuddle, but this morning I was too embarassed to touch him because he had morning wood and I knew I'd kill it if I messed with it. So I just got out of bed and made coffee.

At this point, we both think it's in his head and we hope he'll get over it. One thing I'm concerned about is that maybe he'll try to blame me and I know I'll dump him if he does because I am doing EVERYTHING I know he likes and EVERYTHING I can to help him and it's not working.

I love him but I'm not willing to deal with this for the rest of my life. I want this to work, but I'm losing my ability to understand what is going on. It's depressing to meet your dream guy and then have him stop wanting you.
I don't know what to do. :(

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Avatar_f_tn
Has anyone considered that the guy might be Gay ?
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Avatar_f_tn
my boyfriend has that problem too, i looked it up, it says that if a guy masturbates too much he will get used to it and make the head too sensitive so no matter what you do it wont feel like what its used to. we are trying to not have sex and hes not doing anything to himself for at least a week or two and see if it helps. also it said that when you do have sex again make sure to use lube because it will take the sensitivty down. dont know if its gona work or help but thats something we're trying.
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Avatar_m_tn
I've been with my boyfriend for about 4 months now, and we pretty much know (or at least I know and he has said and agreed) that we were made for each other and all that good mushy stuff. however, during intercourse, and this has happened almost every time we have had sex, he loses his erection about midway and there's not much I can do to get it back. I'm really starting to get discouraged and it's depressing because I feel like I don't please him or don't keep him interested....He acts like he's physically attracted to me and like i turn him on, but when it comes down to it....we have this problem. I wouldn't consider myself hideous or anything, but I also don't look like a super model...I'd say I'm average... He has sent me a picture of his penis a few times when we couldn't be around one another, and in the picture it looks fully erect, like normal, and I don't understand why he can be fully erect when I'm absent but not when I'm there.  help?
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Avatar_m_tn
i too have just recently started suffering erection problems i have been with my GF for about 4 months now and everything was fine until one night i overdid it a bit on the cannabis and just as i was about to penetrate her i lost my erection and she said she just wanted to go to sleep this has been preying on my mind since I can make my penis hard by masturbating but the moment i stop it disappears this is so frustrating cause my GF is the most beautiful and sexual girl i have ever been with and it has nothing to do with me not fancying her no matter what i think about i cannot get hard without touching myself but like i said the moment i stop it goes away also there is a lack of sensation in my penis as well this only happened about a week ago and has never happened before can anyone help with this prob plz plz plz
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Avatar_m_tn
Hi, I am a 28 year old lad and I have had this issue myself off and on since about 2 years after becoming sexually active at 16.  I can't really offer any advice to the ladies on here as in my experience the cause is often nothing to do with the girl I am with or her abilities in the bedroom.  I know it is a serious hit to the male ego when you are affected by this and as any doctor worth his salt will tell you there is a mental component involed when it comes to getting and maintaining an erection.  In my case and I guess from reading the posts so far most of you lads have nothing physically wrong with you so in my opinion male enhancing products are not the right solution here.  I can't say for sure what causes this to happen but I can tell you what has helped for me.  Often when I am affected by this I find myself overly concerned, during foreplay and sex, about letting my partner down again this is the main cause for me.  I have found without a doubt that if this is what is on my mind during intimacy I WILL fail to stay aroused.  As with some of the posts so far, during masturbation or simply arousing yourself this never happens because you have no one else to please so it works everytime.  With this is mind it is obvious that it is the frame of mind you are in causing the problem in the first place.  The key is to be relaxed with your partner and in the moment with her, if you find yourself drifting off somwhere else like thinking about your favorite porno or fantasies that do not involve your current girlfriend you need to clear your mind of this and return your attention to real life.  I have had this issue with multiple girlfriends and they are usually understanding and willing to help you.  As with most lads I believe myself to be very good in bed so failing to stay aroused every now and again is brushed aside now by considering how much pleasure I will give my GF when we try again.  Positive thoughts like this help.  Some suggestions I would give is don't rush into the act the first few times when trying to overcome this problem.  Sit and watch a movie together and cuddle up.  Have a bath together.  Play fight a bit.  Most importantly do not let the problem play on your mind.  Think positive thoughts and keep your mind on the moment when your intimate with your girlfriend.  Hope this helps a bit and good luck guys!
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Avatar_n_tn
Hello everyone. :)

Just to help, i'm 17, my Girlfriend is also 17; we live in the UK, so by law we are allowed to have sex.

My problem actually started last night, when me and my girlfriend decided we should take the next step, neither of us are virgins; so that problem is out of the way.
It started out really good, foreplay was brilliant and I maintained an erection all the way through, but when it came to sex; she told me she wasn't on this pill till 2 days after, (This being tomorrow as I write this post).
So she told me to use a condom, which mentally was fine to me, but I was nervous, as I have never used one before, I've put one on myself; but that's been when I was alone. When trying to doing it infront of my partner, I just felt my confidence hit rock bottom, and I didn't feel aroused anymore, during sex, I get the same problem (Loss of erection), I feel I won't satisfy my partner(s), so a lot of things come in and out of my mind, no matter how much i'm reassured that everything is okay, and I am doing well, my mind still tells me, that i'm doing a terrible job!
An answer would be nice, but in my mind, i've come to the conclusion, I have a low self-esteem, and I worry "far" too much about what I do, and the actions/consequences theory.

-Kristian
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Avatar_m_tn
I'm 22 struggling with an erection problem... Pretty much, when i'm about to have sex, my erection goes away.  It's the most frustrating thing in the world. I don't have a problem getting hard when my girlfriend and i fool around before hand but when i put on the condom and get ready to go, i lose my erection. any advice?
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Avatar_n_tn
im 17 and i'm having the time general problem
when i am kissing and doing fore play with my girlfriend im rock hard but when it comes to putting my **** in i go in and maybe in and out 3 or 4 times and then i go limp this has happend around 3 or 4 times and i feel annoyed when it happens because i used to have amazing sex with my girl friend of 31 months today but this has only happened in the last couple of months. any help?
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Avatar_n_tn
i mastrubate and get a hard on evrytime we have oral sex,but in bed i dont get a erection and we dont make love,though i am a father i still ask my wife to hold my penis and put in,the moment i see her sulking i dont get the hard on and she walks out,but i fantasize about her and love her for she looks hot but moment she says im sleepy do it fast i dont get erection,pls help
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Avatar_m_tn
hey im 17 yrs old and i have a 18 year old girlfriend. When me and her fool around or even just snuggle, i can get a erection rather easy and keep it. When it comes to sex its no problem there either. my problem is that i cant ejaculate during sex or even oral sex. I dont know why i cant, with sex it feels good but i cant get to the point where i can "finish" same thing with oral sex it feels really good (better than sex) but i just cant get to the climax.this makes my girl feel really bad and makes me feel really bad as well. Please help me, ive read about how if you masturbate too much it can cause desensitation. i would appreciate input from others.
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Avatar_m_tn
hey im 17 yrs old and i have a 18 year old girlfriend. When me and her fool around or even just snuggle, i can get a erection rather easy and keep it. When it comes to sex its no problem there either. my problem is that i cant ejaculate during sex or even oral sex. I dont know why i cant, with sex it feels good but i cant get to the point where i can "finish" same thing with oral sex it feels really good (better than sex) but i just cant get to the climax.this makes my girl feel really bad and makes me feel really bad as well. Please help me, ive read about how if you masturbate too much it can cause desensitation. i would appreciate input from others.
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Avatar_m_tn
All,

I also have this same issue. I am a 25 years old, and I am in good physical shape.

I have had this problem for awhile but have not taken any serious steps until tonight to resolve it.

In my life I have been "with" quite a few women. But by that I mean when I am doing sexual things to them, it has mostly all been oral, or me pleasing them myself. That is because like most of the people here I struggle with having intercourse and keeping a erection.

I write this after my new girlfriend of a month and a half, just tried to have sex for the first time. She teased me immensely and I was extremely turned on (under my pants). I pleasured her as much as I could with foreplay until she couldn't take it anymore and almost literally ripped my pants off....and to my absolute horror, my extreme erection started fading away...I'm sure some of you can imagine how frustrating this is. My girlfriend is beyond hot. I am the enemy of everyone at work and all my friends are green with envy, and I am not even in her league.

I played it off being that It was late, and because she teased me for so long I was now really tired...I hope she bought it because I can't sleep I am so upset with myself.

I think what some of you said may be true, that perhaps the masturbating thing could be one of the problems. I do it once a day, sometimes even twice, and I am usually pretty quick about it. I'm going on vacation starting today and I will not do anything sexual to myself for that time period. I can only hope that when I get back and see my GF, that my body will do anything to stay erect to get what it wants.

I am definitely going to see a doctor either way though. This must be solved. I only hope I don't have to rely on a drug, as I consider myself still pretty damn young.

Good luck everyone.
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Avatar_m_tn
Please Help! my wife and I had the biggest fight 2 weeks ago (super stressful)  and I just started riding a motorcycle (gsxr 1300r) 3 weeks ago.. i did notice a bit uncomfortableness in my groin area but ignored it.. I am in my early 30s and I am in great shape and my wife is beautiful.. what is wrong with me! can it be the bike? my anxiety level is off the charts right now and i know its not doing me any good.
I am beginning to think its my motorcycle because now when I get on it that uncomfortable feeling is gone! what if i damaged a nerve or artery/ vein or something! I just want to be back to normal! please help!
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Avatar_m_tn
im 16 and am having this problem but only recently up until about 8 months ago i was fine wasn't a lot that could keep it down when i got out of a relationship it changed i dont know what has happened since i have had sex with more than my fair share of girls and been fine and over the last 8 months i have tied it with 3 girls and it just goes floppy and this is with and without condoms i just dont know what to do as its effecting my confidence and im getting very angry about it HELP ME ??  
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Avatar_m_tn
Your comments regarding "short bursts in solo stimulations" are spot on.  I am 30 years old male and have had similar issues.  I had some girl action last week and just couldn't keep my erection long enough.  My brain would think of sex and i would get an erection almost instantly.  Then i just couldn't sustain it for more than 3 mins after penetration.  I mean, I gave her ridiculous oral, but it was just hopeless when it came to intercourse.  I would try to look at her nakedness (she isn't that hot, but that's not the reason), but it didn't help.  I ended up pretending to be playing with her for a bit to give myself time to get hard again.  Then it would be a race to ejaculate before I lose it.  Pathetic.  I mean, I have been complimented for my bed-related prowess multiple times before.  I think it's all due to porn/masturbation combination behavior.  I use a lot of porn to masturbate and the multiple visual/audio stimuli make it easy to fantasize and maintain a "series" of many short erections.  When it's time to have sex with one girl, it's only "one" stimulus and your penis only respond with one short erection, since it "expects" different visual/audio stimuli are coming soon.  It's going to be hard to stop, but I will attempt the 4-week no porn regimen and see what happens.  To those with boyfriend problems,  talk to them about their porn behavior.  Watching one porn movie at a time may be ok, but watching five different short clips of favorite positions/situations all at once is a real problem.  
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Avatar_n_tn
reading all these posts makes me feel i'm not alone. i'm 41 and i never had problems getting hard or keeping an erection until recently. i mean i was an animal. but now i can only do this in flashes. i'm very disturbed.

yes, i watched porn. have been doing so since high school. then i stopped for about 10 yrs. then started again. it never affected my performance, prolly increased it. i got divorced and started masterbating (masturbating). i think that's where my problems started.

i read that masterbating (masturbating) affects sexual performance. i'm so regretful i masterbated especially since my religion discourages it. and now i find out that masterbating (masturbating) has negative effects. i regret it and watching porn.

now i really want to be the way i was when i was an animal in bed. i prayed the other night and asked the lord to help me. i will also take the advice of the guy who said you should focus on having a pleasurable experience w/your partner without thinking about some porn scene or the like.

i'm also going to try some herbal supplements to replenish whatever i lost from masterbating (masturbating) to porn so much.

so hopefully prayer, avoiding masterbating (masturbating) and porn, natural supplements, and fantasizing about my wife only will help me get back to the way i used to be.
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Avatar_m_tn
Hey boys and girls,

I'm a 20 year old male in a steady relationship with the most beautiful girl. We're both in college, but we live far away from each other, so I'm about to go away from her for several months for summer, which is really hard.

The last few weeks, I've struggled immensely with keeping it up. I have no idea what's going on, and I feel really frustrated with myself - as others have said above, I feel really bad for not being able to satisfy my girlfriend. She's also frustrated, her self confidence is taking a toll as well, and I have no idea how to explain to her that it's not about her at all - I still find her as stunning as always.

We've been dating for 6 months now, and this hasn't been a problem until now - well, not this persistently at least. We had some problems before and after winter break (again, we were apart for nearly a month), but after that we've stopped using condoms and our sex life has been just amazing.

Now, though, I just can't keep it up. I get really hard, but for some reason it just won't stay up without constant stimulation. What's happened a lot is that I've been trying to go down on her (I love performing oral sex, and consider it one of my strengths), and then it's just gone. Sometimes I won't even notice, just suddenly look down and see it hanging limply, and it's so frustrating.

I think it's a mental thing, maybe I'm more stressed out than usual about finals and stuff, and I'm definitely worried that I won't be able to satisfy her again before I have to leave her for summer - how much would that suck? I just get self-conscious and worried that it won't work out - and then, without fail, it doesn't work out. We've tried not having sex for a while, but she's getting increasingly frustrated and I really really want this - for her as much as for me. I love her with all of my heart, and I can't bear to have her think that I don't find her attractive.
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Avatar_n_tn
Someone please help me. I am a 32 year old male who had an arranged marriage with a girl I have never met before.

I am a virgin but I used to mastrubate regularly atleast 2 times a day. It has become a torture to maintain an erection during sex. The problem is that in the past, I have to mastrubate everyday but now  I can't even maintain an erection during sex. I has been 2 weeks since I have had an ejaculation and I am quite worried and sad. My wife doesn't have a problem getting wet and pleasured but it seems to be me. I feel that it is very unfair on her and this only makes it worse when I try to have sex the next time.

Please help me.....
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Avatar_f_tn
I am a 42 year old woman.  I am currently dating a 37 year old man.  I truly think it is important that you keep it exciting.  I never let it get to be humdrum.  When my guy comes over I make sure I am dressed up in something yummy.  It could be lingerie or body jewlery.  But it is going to look good.  It is also important that you keep yourself trim and clean cut in every way and where.  Ladies.  Don't get lazy. Don't get too confidient that he will be there no matter what.  EYE CANDY will always make his eyes stray.  YOU need to be the eye candy.  The main sex gland in your body is your brain.  If you didn't see or think of what you could do to feel good. You would care to try..  Also play with each other. This doesn't mean to have sex.  It means to look and touch and feel and taste each other.  Tease each other a bit. Role play. there are so many things you can do to keep it going.  When you don't think about it so much and worry about it. because of that you have expectations. Don't have these. if it happens it happens if it doesn't oh well. You have fun doing other things with each other.  In the end all I can say is relax... and let nature take its course.  
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Avatar_m_tn
I'm a 34 yr old male, who has a severe case of depression, with social aniexty. I take Venlafaxine 225mg for this and i hope this to be the root of the problem. I was on 150mg for the longest and it was effexor not a generic. was having many problems with my then current wife, so with the stress building up, i decided to talk to the doc about upping it, and he did. Around the same time my wife and I seperated and i was finally able to be with the lady i have always wanted in my lfe, which happened to be my wife's best friend(no i did not leave my wife because of the mentioned lady). She is truly everything i have ever wanted and then some. I love her with all my heart. Well the part where i'm having similar problems starts now. I have not been able to get an erection, whether watcher the lady pleasure herself, me pleasuring myself, foreplay, kinky action, etc...
And I love to snuggle with her naked as we fall asleep, I love pleasing her , which sometimes I overdo to make sure she doesnt think negative of me and my problem, but it affects her alot. I wanna make love to her softly, hard, rough, gentle, and so on. To me it seems from feelings aspect, and from tons of reading, that my brain is not producing the 3 chemicals needed for arousal and they are being blocked or something.
I tell myself it's the meds because when i was on 150mg, I was with my wife still and i wasn't in love with her anymore. We RaReLy had sex, but when we did, i was hard all the times. Willing to read anything replied good or bad. TY for you reading this. JSD
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Avatar_f_tn
it could be that he is just over thinking everything. I have heard the same can happen for women. People concentrate too much on the orgasm and don't enjoy the moment. I have experienced the same thing with my ex's and most of the time they are just very stressed by either life or by sexitself. Its a good idea that you talk with him. I'm sure he doesn't feel very confident when this type of thing happens and its important that knows that you're not too bothered by it..and its important that he knows that you support him, but that you want to make sure everything is ok
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Avatar_m_tn
To: lillybean hello im a 19yr old male....  your comment makes so much sence its unbelievable during sex ..its grate yea buuuut reallly really REALLY hard to keep it up and i thort it was just in my head and a lack of confedence but after reading your comment it all makes sence  as i really dont have a lack of confidence ....dam porn and dam the internet for ever more dirty things and every thing u ever dreamed about in the bed room can be found on the internet and now just sex seems not fun or arousing in any way ...like u said i want to have sex but my body is just saying no and not reacting in the right way :(... dam as i really do enjoy porn .makes the week worth wroking for ...not good i no hehe thanks for ur comment will try this :)))))))) 4 weeks nothing !!!!! thanks ever so much also nice to no im not alone out there haha
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Avatar_m_tn
Im also having this problem, I'm 23. I dont smoke, rarely drink and am physically healthy. But I've been dating a girl for the past 2months now and we've attempted to have sex 4 times. The first time it was fine, everything went as it should, I think I came to early, but no problems with erections. The second, third and the forth time Ive been unable to keep an erection, the 2nd and third time i could barely get it up, and if it did go up, i lost it before we could do anything. The forth time I got hard, but a min or two later it was gone.

I normally get erections all the time, i usually find it hard to keep it down, thinking about sex, even jus holding her hand would make me go hard, so this seems so bizarre to me. After the first time it happened I didnt get an erection for almost 3 days. Very unusual to say the least, I was freaking out.
I tend to stress a lot and after the first time I've been worried about getting hard, aswell as getting her off n coming to early aswell. I have next to no sexual experience, Ive done it 5 times in my life before i meet the girl im with now, almost all were one night stands were everything went fine, but in most cases alcohol was involved and were with girls i didnt care about.

The masturbation theory could be true, since I've been doing that since I was a teenager quite often so I will stop completely as of now. The condom theory may have something to do with it, but I'm  certain this is to do with performance anxiety and lack of experience. I am a very shy person and do have confidence problems so im sure that affects it
.
To make matters worse each time this has happened the girl im dating has left, ending our date sometimes very early, because of this. She almost left me once and is considering it again after my last performance issue, im worried she will leave for good soon if i dont fix this, but am unsure how to go about it. I'll try taking in the advice from this page. But if anyone has any advice, or experience they could share, it would be very much appreciated.
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Avatar_f_tn
I am a 28 year old female that recently fled a relationship with an abusive male who couldnt keep his hard **** in his pants.  He was constently hard and begging to penetrate!  Because of his lack of financial support for myself and our two children (he hadnt worked in almost 5 years), his anger and physical outbursts and his rediculous sex drive (he used to keep me awake at night; either having sex or fighting) we divorced... one year later I have been seeing an older gentlemen who is able to support me and the kids and has a very kind heart.  Things were great for 6 months or so...now he cant get hard!  What in the world!  I have never had to deal with this before and it is seriously affecting how I feel about myself!  I feel fat and unattractive!  Why in the world does he not get aroused?  My ex could see me walk in the door and obtain erection; this guy can see me in a hot outfit and then be "handled" and still can't perform.  Masturbation has become a regular occurence and I am wondering why I should be with him when he makes me feel so unwanted...Please send any advice that might help!
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Avatar_f_tn
Recently I started having a problem maintaining a boner.. I've been with the same woman for years now but all of a sudden these past few times it was hard for me to keep a boner.. before sex I get her warmed up by fingering her until she cums nd my arm gets so tired.. its like I was working out in the gym.. while I'm fingering her I'm rock hard until my arm starts getting weak and then my penis starts going down, and after that its very hard to get a boner again.. The thing is I finger her all the time and it's never happened before until these past few times. I'm not sure if its from the fingering or if I'm starting to develop a problem... please help.... sincerely flaccid penis
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Avatar_m_tn
Hey there, I'm a male nearing the 30's and I recently started a relationship again after a very long break. Our first intimate time together I had this issue. It all came down to confidence and self assessment. I'm asian and she's black so naturally in my mind I was thinkin, she's had much bigger. So from the get go my confidence was shot down. I was purpose driven in satisfying her so I could forget my, what I figured, lack of endowment. This mentality was really detrimental in my ability to rise to the occasion.

I was able to obtain a rock hard erection but the moment I penetrated I lost erection. In the back of my mind I kept questioning my self and my abilities. She was a sweet heart and informed me that it was a safe day for her so she suggested I try without a condom. This helped a little bit in our intimate time together. Not the fact that I was penetrating without the condom but the fact that she was open and willing to talk and take actions to help me. That very night we were eventually able to fully make love and I brought her to orgasm through penetration alone. Then my self confidence skyrocketed and I don't have this issue anymore.

If you are able to achieve and erection without a problem but happen to lose it while you are with your woman, I'm almost 100% certain it has to do with the mentality of the guy. Take my case for instance, the moment my girl achieved orgasm through penetration, it was as if a huge weight had been lifted. I was actually slowly making love to her all night from 1 erection without cumming. That's 6+ hours of maintaining erection from not being able to maintain it for 10 seconds just from 1 event that affected me psychologically. So advice to men and women, talk to your partner. If they aren't willing to talk about it then you are with the wrong person. Sex is a 2 way street.

I have also started to workout a lot more and run a lot more recently and found my self confidence has gone up significantly. This in turn made it so I can get an erection pretty much just making eye contact with ma woman. TALK TO EACH OTHER AND LET THEM KNOW YOUR CONCERNS! have fun =)
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Avatar_f_tn
My fiance and I have been together for 2 years now and he still can't keep an erection during sex. I've dressed up and he's tried pills and EVERYTHING. nothing works. I'm getting pretty pissed. Any suggestions?!?!
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Avatar_f_tn
And its not like I'm ugly or anything. I'm a very attractive girl to be honest. I'm just getting pretty mad.
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Avatar_n_tn
I will get in your face a bit here.

2 years is a long time to not address this issue, I agree, and it seems it's just not important to you guys, since it has taken this long.

Getting mad/pissed is probably the thing that will end your relationship. Everyone says it's not the woman's fault, it's a mental state of mind that causes it, but getting pissed is enhancing the mental state not the erection.

Also, you see it as HIS fault and HIS problem (though in your defence, you are the one writing here and doing some research), it is not HIS problem.
I know it's harsh words, but it seems to me that being an erect penis is harder :) than being a vagina. A vagina always works (for your partner), so you simply don't have those mental issues that you put on your partner's performance (or lack of).

I will make some suggestions in my next post.

But don't get pissed at him. You might as well kick him in the nuts and tell him he is not worth the ground he walks on, you (carleyjean) should be ashamed and should let him get on with his life with another woman.
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Avatar_n_tn
I would also like to give some suggestions to the people out there with this problem. As you have figured out by now, it happens all over the world and at all ages.

Let me just say to all the women reading this. TRUST ME.. the penis has a mind of it's own, the issue is NEVER that you are not attractive.
A man can be SO attracted to you, but he can never control his penis, never. He can only point in directions :) (and make helicopters!!)

If you were not attractive, you would never be in the situation of having to read about this subject. Again, the issue is NEVER that you are not attractive.



We all can agree by now, it's 90% mental (just as it is for women), and it's a mental state you can't force (just as for women).

I would encurrage play, focus on having fun in the bedroom, not focus on having sex. Sex requires an erect penis and a wet vagina, but fun does not, though it makes it MORE fun :)
Focus on him not able to keep the erection, or her not getting wet, and you are doomed.

If you only focus on the sex, you are pretty much done when he has his orgasm, but "fun" can last for DAYS...  
And then to the fun:

To take away the performance issue of him not satisfying the woman, I would suggest looking into other means of pleasuring the woman, other than with an erect penis. There are SO many ways to do this, for the open minded.

STUDY... No man is born with the skill to build a house, as no man is born with the skill to satisfy a woman (or be a race driver, which most men also think they are born as) :)
There are thousands of books on woman anatomy, oral, pleasure, exercises  (for both partners, as women is also not born with the skill). If you keep an open mind, there will ALWAYS be things to learn, and you should both spend the time/energy on this study, as you know it is important in a relationship. (or you would not be here)
(at least it should be more important to learn more about oral sex (or whatever you would like to study) than reading the latest gossip magazine)


TALK.. about it, not when you are about to have sex or right after, as it (a negative thing) will be associated with the act..
Most mental issues are enhanced by never talking about it, so the mind brews up a world of wars, that comes up every time. (men and women)


PHYSICAL
Then there is the other 10% that is a physical problem, though a small percentage, it will make it easier to get and keep the erection. There are tons of suggestions out there (long live the internet)
Some of those being repeated over and over is:
- Pelvic Exercises (both men and women) also known as Kegels
- Not be overweight (converts testosterone into estrogen = not good)
- Exercise the pump, get your heart pumping.
And then the usual: eat healthy, don't smoke, eat dark fruits (eg. blackberry), eat dark chocolate etc.


And as a footnote I would like to say: if you are not willing to spend the time, energy and make the effort, on solving ANY problem with your partner (male or female, not only sexual), you are better of moving on and setting them free to be happy with someone else.
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Avatar_f_tn
Any guys out there having this problem taking any medicine on a regular basis? I don't mean taking meds for the problem I mean other meds. I was with a man for 5 years who started having a problem with ejaculating too quickly. Once we realized that the problem started after a med change, he went to his doctor and they put him on something else. He no longer has that problem. Check side effects of any meds you may be taking.
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Avatar_f_tn
I'm 18 and from time to time nerves do get the better of us guys. Like last night my gf wasn't feeling pretty, so she wanted to have sex so I could make her feel pretty. Well I was so scared of losing my erection that I couldn't focus, and guess what, I lost it. Now she is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen let alone been with, and she takes it so personally, that we end up not talking for hours. Which I already know is going to affect me next time. Any ideas to help me keep my head on straight? I can't lose this girl, I love her.
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Avatar_m_tn
Hey I'm 20 and I've got the same problem(not staying hard) ..when we get intimate I can feel my hard boner throbbing away but when it gets down to the main event my boner shrinks shamelessly and it really pisses me off!! I've got the girl of my dreams who is sexually active and this problem occurs...My self-confidence just plummets down to the floor..and my girl would start feeling frustrated and feeling down(thinking she is the cause of the problem).. I always tell her that its not her its me who has a problem...It really gets me frustrated because all I want to do at this point is satisfy her sexually but I am kinda scared I will fail..again..but i sort of promised myself that I will let her go the next time this happens...but the mind being 90% and physical being 10% which causes erection I truly believe is the truth....
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Avatar_f_tn
Thank you so much for this advice and reassurance but the thing is, I have already done all of these things and the "playing" instead of sex thing is a good idea except he can't stay hard even when I go down on him. I'm not going to claim that I'm an expert in bed but we have been together for nearly a year and before this became a problem I was defiantly satisfying him and vice-versa. I really really am trying to be sexy and everything without putting on pressure for sex but it is really hard to know what to do when he says he doesn't know what has changed either.
We have talked about it but he says that he has no idea what the matter is and that he is not worrying about not being able to get hard before we start getting intimate so I'm not sure if the mental barrier theory is right either but at the same time he is fairly healthy and we are 19 so I doubt its a physical problem. Anyway, I was wondering if you had any other advice as your last post was very helpful and reassuring. Thanks.
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Avatar_f_tn
I am so frustrated I have been with my boyfriend for three years and all of a sudden the past 6 months he does'nt get hard and if he does its semi hard. I just don't know what to do anymore...I have tried everything I could but he seems not to stay hard longer that 3 minutes....so finally lastnite we tried and a few minutes into sex he was soft again and he blamed it on me.... I cried myself to sleep... I don't think I can deal with this anymore...
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Avatar_f_tn
Will masturbating often make male's penis sleep during sex?
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Avatar_f_tn
Well okay, i was going down on this girl the other day and we were messing around and i was fully erect for a while until she wanted to actually do the deed. Im a 20 year old male and ever since that day i havent been able to get fully erect. I have been very stressed and have read up in a bunch of things. And its never hapenned before. It was just wierd cause the whole time we were just messing around, foreplay and such, i was totally ready. Just when it came down to it i lost it and was so embarrased. Im thinking maybe its just stress... Thats what im hoping atleast....  
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Avatar_n_tn
avoid him for some time !!
den try 2 arouse him by a *******
diz wil surely work
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Avatar_f_tn
i need help im 23 and my husbands 24 sex has always been ok, but just ok. now fot the last year we only do 'it' maybe once a month and 90% of the time he loses his erection. im starting to feel like he doesnt find me attractive anymore and its making me have real confidence issues. iv asked him about it and he said ita because he finds sex boring and too samey but when i have tried to spice things up or take control he loses it anyway and its made me not want to try, kinda like im scared of rejection. he told me i need to dress up for him to keep him interested to make my body look nicer. it hurts that i cant just be myself and that be enough for him, im a size 10-12 and i know other ppl find me attractive. i  dont understand whats going on with him, does anyone have any advice?
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Avatar_f_tn
i need help im 23 and my husbands 24 sex has always been ok, but just ok. now fot the last year we only do 'it' maybe once a month and 90% of the time he loses his erection. im starting to feel like he doesnt find me attractive anymore and its making me have real confidence issues. iv asked him about it and he said ita because he finds sex boring and too samey but when i have tried to spice things up or take control he loses it anyway and its made me not want to try, kinda like im scared of rejection. he told me i need to dress up for him to keep him interested to make my body look nicer. it hurts that i cant just be myself and that be enough for him, im a size 10-12 and i know other ppl find me attractive. i  dont understand whats going on with him, does anyone have any advice?
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Avatar_f_tn
First of all, he's an a** for blaming it on you. Second, the same thing is happening to me. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years now. The first time this erectile disfunction occured was a couple years ago. And he was having stomach problems also. He went to the doctor and it turned out being stomach ulcers. After they took care of it, we began having sex again and he stayed hard every time. But just in the past week it started happening again. I asked him if he was stressed or if he had any health problems. He said no. I told him he should go get it checked out because I think it might be ulcers again but he's so stubborn he doesnt want to go. But every time this happens now, I always have a feeling that it's my fault. I feel like he doesn't find me attractive anymore. He says he does, but it still hurts my confidence a little that he cant stay hard for me.
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Avatar_f_tn
I'm 25 and my husband is 28 we have been together for 8 year but we just got married back in June. We have never had any problems making love until recently, he's hared when I give him oral like a rock and we start having sex then when he pulls out so we can do anothe position he goes limp there also a Time where he came but he wasn't fully hared he more to the limp side it's the 4th time it has happend and the other day he went down on me and got hared but only wanted to please me because he's scared to do it now cause of what happend he before he's assured me that it's not me but I feel hopeless and scared also I miss the passion we had as a couple and I feel like I'm alone. We were trying to have a baby and he also is the boss at his work and carriers a lot of stress and I asked him if it was because of trying for a baby he said no and he did tell me work has been stressing him out but he can't put his figure on it, so now he's on vitamin b12 we haven't tryed since he started the vitamin because he keeps thinking about it but he told me that he would go to a doctor if that wasn't the problem. Also he only wants to talk about when he wants too so it's hared to get him to have a decent conversation about it. I'm worried scared and feel extremely bad for him he has told me he doesn't feel like a man but I'm affaird if he keeps putting it in his head all the time that it's never going to happen again :(  I love him so much we have been thru a lot together but this is so scarey to me from being great and then it just came out of nowhere I miss our connection so much and I told him my feelings about it and he said he understands so can someone shed some light for me as I'm crying while typing this from my iPhone thanks it feels good to let it all out!
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Avatar_f_tn
So update I know not everyone wants to know this but we just made love and it was like nothing ever happend! And it was amazing maybe it was the stress from work. I don't want to get to excited just incase.
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Avatar_f_tn
Im 25, I have tried everything in my power to get it hard, I really like this girl she has a great body and all. But my penis couldnt get hard even tho if its orally or a sex it wont get up at all. And I dont feel scared or anything but I couldnt get it hard WHEN I WANT TO!!! When we do nothing and out of blue its hard as rock? Ive never had this experience before. Its my first time it happen. Please tell me how it will work again....
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did that work?
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Avatar_m_tn
I am having similar problems to a lot of the guys here. This is kind of a long story but i feel some explanation is necessary.
I am a 20 year old male and when i was 18 i got into a relationship with a girl who has herpes. I stupidly thought it was going to last forever and 6 months in the relationship we had a scare and thought i had contracted herpes even though i was using a condom and being safe, so we stopped using condoms. The sex in that relationship was great but everything else stopped being great after about a year, so we finally broke up a year and 6 months in. It's been 6 months since then and my life has been really great. Everythings been going well other than the fact that i have herpes now. For a while i wasnt really trying to sleep with anyone so the herpes wasnt much of a problem. it stayed dormant and doesnt bother me, the only thing i found bad about it was the thought of having to tell some girl or guy that i wanted to sleep with that i have herpes, which can be really scary. but recently i've met this girl and she's everything and more than i ever could have hoped for. she didnt get scared away by the herpes (which hasnt actually happened yet with anyone i've approached) and she's really in to me. she's really attractive physically, sexually, and in terms of personality. in just a short time i've come to care about her a lot...
which is why im terrified of giving her herpes. the fear is really present in my mind and as much as im dying to have sex with her over and over again, i cant keep myself hard. during foreplay i get really hard but as soon as i think of having to reach over and get a condom out and put it on so that i dont give her herpes my erection dies and my soldier goes to sleep for the rest of the night. on top of that, during the interim time after the breakup and before i met this new girl, i got used to the idea of being alone and watched a lot of porn and masturbated one or two times daily, pretty much just to get myself off. im going to try the 4 week regimen that smilingbobsuncle suggested and ill post my results here afterward.

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Avatar_m_tn
Dont think so negative about the situation i know its hard but i just turned 30 and iv starting to have erection problems as well . I do drink and 420 friendly. My wife is a sexy model turns males and females heads every time she steps out the house  .When this first started happening she started thinking it was her fault or i was cheating on her and it only made things worse because now i wanted to satisfy her but i over stressed the situation scared everytime it was going to happen again .Once we sat down and talked about it she bacame really cool and understanding so when i would go soft or couldnt perform she would tell me its ok babe go down give me oral and stroke me to completion then if she was really horny she would mount my face and u know the rest , ever since she started being so cool about it i have been able to get hard erections and perform great . I have also found out that drinking ginger ale instead of other sodas help light exercise helps me as well , 15 minute jog 2 days a week  . Good stretching .drinking a lot of 100% juice and i do not drink alcohol or smoke as much as i use to . Hope this helps
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Avatar_m_tn
Try having sex everyday try not to  be scared of rejection its only gonna stress you out . try to be really cool about the situation dont stress him out . oral sex is good even if it seems like he's not getting hard keep going dont stop once u get him hard and if he goes soft again hope right off and give him oral once more if u feel like u need some motivation turn around and put your P****** right on his mouth riding his face same time just keep doing things like this all the time more frequent its he needs blood rushed to his penis more often and the more often that gets done it the vessels in the penis gets stronger more durable . if this continues to happen after u tried this over a period of time , there is a strap on device that goes on over the penis just tell him to wear it and go to work. that will never get soft . just some ideas .  
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Avatar_m_tn
The only advice i have is try to be cool and calm about the situation like it dosent even bother you , and if he does go soft and u go down to give him oral do not be dissapointed its taking a while just keep going eventually your going to get his full attention back . he's losing focus and is starting to think all kinds of crap from she's going to be upset if i go soft to what the hell is wrong with me then its all over more blood is rushing to his brain then his penis because he is getting so nervous .Hope things work out
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Avatar_f_tn
After reading all of these comments, yours stood out the most to me and my heart breaks to read that your husband has expressed that he is not satisfied with you. Honestly, I'm all for a little dress up time, but if he is saying that it's too "samey" and that you need to dress up like someone else to satisfy him, it sounds like he's too focused on an unrealistic fantasy life.

I don't know what your communication in marriage is like with him, but I would ask him if he is watching porn or regularly engaging in self gratification (I'd be surprised if he's not). As you can see from a lot of comments here, that can really, negatively affect intimacy. I have read testimonies of men who didn't feel satisfied with their wife's body. But it was because they were constantly filling their mind with air brushed, plastic, unrealistic images of women. And once they took the steps to give up that addiction, they began to find their wife irresistible because they were connecting in the moment with HER and not fantasizing about someone else, or comparing her to other women.

From what you've mentioned, it honestly doesn't sound like you're the problem. Also you've mentioned that the sex has always just been "okay." Maybe that's because when it does work, he's focusing on himself and not on serving you. In my experience, a very important key to having an incredible sex life is to be committed to serving each other. If both aim to satisfy the other (with actions and words of encouragement & enthusiasm), then both have a much greater experience and feel even closer to each other each time.

As many have said here, it is a mind thing. It sounds like your hubby might need a cleansing of the mind to get rid of all unrealistic expectations of intimacy and to focus on embracing you in all of your natural beauty and glory! It also sounds like he needs a lesson in cherishing you. You seem to want to serve him and please him. That alone reveals that you are gift to him. If he's willing and humble enough, maybe counseling with help. (It definitely helped me and my husband to grow in intimacy.)
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Avatar_f_tn
I am having the same type of problem. I just lost my virginity on my 19th birthday and I want able to become fully hard. We were and still are into each other but I have a major problem keeping or even getting an erection. We used a condom the first time but I had no feeling and we just tried no protection and I felt everything but I could not penetrate because there was no lubrication. I feel like she is kind of the same way because she has trouble getting wet even though we are both really into it when we try having sex. Can any one give me any ideas or pointers?
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Avatar_m_tn
I am a 30 old married person. I get fully aroused during intimate times; however, ejaculate in seconds after foreplay is over. After the first round, it takes me about 5 minutes to get the erection again. When I was a teenage boy of 16 years I had anal sex with a female during which I got my penis hurt. The ligament or the membrane on the middle of penis glans (glands) that connects the forskin to the penis shaft was broken and blood came out. I felt a shock at that time and extreme pleasure plus some pain. After a week when I masturbated I ejaculated in few seconds and without much pleasure. After that incident I have never been able to feel pleasure as I did when my penis was alright (before injury). I still feel bad as I am not able to enjoy my sex life properly. It has become a machine kind of job where I feel a little pleasure only when I ejaculate and that too in quite early (few seconds) Please advise.
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Avatar_m_tn
To everyone here,
Im 16 and began to have this same problem. At first, we would bang a few times a week, maybe 3 times a day, and i could get and stay hard. Then recently, my problem started. It started after taking Nitric Oxide while broken up with my girlfriend. I masturbated to porn up to 3 or 4 times a day, and the Nitric Oxide allowed me to do so because of the blood flow. I went off the Nitric Oxide, and between the mental desensitization (from porn) and physical (from masturbation), I had serious problems keeping it going with my girl in bed. As of today, we broke up. It wasent a nerves issue because I was with her for almost 2 years, and even our 1st time (both of us were virgins) I was rock hard. I firmly believe that the excessive masturbation and porn caused my situation, and many of your's as well (after reading this whole blog). Tips:
- For the nerves: Gain self confidence by working out, and also, keep your mind from wandering. Focus on how hot your girl is and how badly you want to **** the **** out of her like a man and how thats exactly what you'll do. That always solved any fleeting nerve issue for me.
-For the people with condom issues (i.e finding that condoms feel weird). If you have the money to buy them, practice with them. Get hard, maintain the hard-on (without stimulation), and put on the condom, then continue to maintain it. Easier said then done I know, but being able to do that will prepare you for long foreplay. Also, Trojan Ecstasy condoms feel amazing...so much better than the others...I HIGHLY recommend them.
-Finally, for mental/physical desensitization. This is what I'm starting now. NO masturbation what so ever for 4 weeks. Avoid all synthetic sexual stimulation (i.e. get hard via your brain or seeing women in real life ONLY). Keep sexual urges at bay by running or other rigorous exercise.

Most of you probably don't need to see a doctor. Your body is very resilient, and will recover itself. I'm already seeing results and I haven't even started the "real" regimen yet. My mental sex drive is rising and I've started to be able to get hard to the thought of women I don't even consider much more than a 5 or 6 (out of 10). Yes, my nerves will be worse now that this has happened, but get confidence back. If your single, boost your ego by flirting with beautiful girls (without being a jerk), get used to being around any given girl, not just your girl, because your screwed if she leaves you and you were only comfortable around her. Do NOT smoke anything, and if you want to take off a nervous edge, get a little buzz, but no more or it will have adverse effects. During the 4 week period, find a goal to take your mind off it. Personally, I'm training for both football and the Navy Seals, so I can find any excuse to work out. Find your own goal. Don't go on any weird diets, but eat healthy enough. Were all in this together. Good-luck to you all, and keep posting!
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Avatar_f_tn
Am 23 my wife is 37 she's fat and her belly jus hang over its a big turn off for me and I want our relation ship 2 work, we use 2 have good sex but it all stop. We r in different country and when she visit like di last time I only did oral because after awhile my penis jus would stand. I need help she's fillin for devorse I want 2 save our marrage plz any advice out their?
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Avatar_m_tn
(25, male, fit) i had this exact same problem. its most likely a combination of performance anxiety and a change in sensation. erection loss due to psychological factors can be complex but its usually a fear that poor performance will lead to emotional rejection. this kind of pressure can make a man feel objectified, helpless, that his entire future hinges on the sexual performance at hand..which then creates the self fulfilling prophecy and a continuing negative cycle. being patient, loving and supportive is the only way around this, it may take months, even a year to get over and will likely be re occuring if issues such as self esteem etc arise through his life. the other issue that can cause erection loss is sensation change, men who masturbate regularly get used to the feeling and technique of their hand. just switching quickly to vaginal intercourse can get our subconscious confused and cause our little buddy to deflate in response. i suggest mutual masturbation, learn to enjoy sexual behaviour outside of sex itself, then have him transition, first with his hand on himself, then eventually penetration. if you find the process frusterating or time consuming then there may be deeper issues, sex should always be an expression of love, bonding, sharing, acceptance etc. i also recommend both of you stay away from porn, it sets an unrealistic standard that does not reflect the genuine human experience.
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2127016_tn?1337667463
Im not a doctor  But maybe he might have a penis problem if it hurts r it just wont stay hard   Maybe he thinks he is to small  Maybe he might not be into you  Maybe he gay whatever the reason talk to him and tell him to be totally honest with you  If he is in love with you which i hope he is  Make him see a doctor  it might be a problem that can get worse over time r while yall makeing love  Good luck girl i know it been awhile since you wrote it  But i just recently found med help and really bored untill my hubby gets off work.
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Avatar_m_tn
HI I HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM I HAVE 1 KID 1 ON THE WAY I UNDERSTAND WHERE UR COMING FROM, ITS LIKE 1 EXTREME TO ANOTHER FOR ME WITH SOMEONE NEW AFTER SUFFERING ABUSE AND A MAN ON HEAT CONSTANTLY TO SOMEONE I REALLY LIKE/LOVE HAVING TROUBLE GETTING AN ERECTION.VERY CONFUSING TO MYSELF ETC
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Avatar_m_tn
Ok all i see is the problems could some one give a sollution??
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Avatar_m_tn
yeah we need solutions!
so what i read it was, that before sex you should just suck and lick, and advice to man, suck and lick your partner after you ***, feel relaxed. put that ***** in your mouth, finger it, make your partner scream, and u feel she is liking it, it will comfort you and brings courage. you should like it too when doing all this. so, when u ***, dont give up, keep going, licking, and when u feel its gettin second raund, before REMOVING your undewears clean your little man, and let girl play with it, enjoy first your good atmosphere before sex. so after, when its hard(you might finish when she is ** you, but she should keep it too to help you for the 3rd round hard).
and you should be ready to enjoy sex
i had my first sex at age of 23, (month ago), i always were with girls sucking and lickin i was afraid to have sex, i thought i will dissapoint my partner, and girls always wanted to have sex, and i just tried to say no, making soma fake reasons, and then my first sex, i was very angry and upset, and when i did what i read, its super cool
dont worry about size, my size is big, and i was unable to work, just give pleasure
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Avatar_m_tn
Me and my boyfriend have been together for over a year now and I truly love him we work great together, its like we were made together. We do so much things that a regular couple does not do and that makes me really happy until I think about the fact that he is scared to have sex with me. I've slept over many times we even took a vacation together just us and still nothing. And its like he has no problem getting it up when were making out and playing with eachother but as soon as our cloths come off he shuts down. We've also tried starting off naked to and still nothing. I dont know what to do anymore I even went to blaming myself but I never had this problem before. When we took a break I even took a chance with my ex to see and there was no problem. Now I just think he has performance anxiety  and I have no idea what else I can do. Can someone give me advice?
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Avatar_m_tn
Okay,

So reading all the above, confirms what I always thought...that its % 100 normal. It happens to ppl all over the world, all ages...young and younger too. I'll tell you my story:

I'm a 30 yr old male. Was married for 4 years. During that time, never once did I have a problem getting it up, or keeping it up. Maybe even the opposite problem with wanting it too much. lol Although I did love my wife...physically, and sexually, I was not attracted to her as I am with my new gf.

Thats right, we divorced and I'm now with a woman who I call "the girl of my dreams". I love this girl more than anyone other woman I've ever met. Sexually, I am so attracted to her fine body, I just want to **** her all the time. So we been together for 2 months now...during the first couple weeks...never really had a problem...well, I did...but here's where the next important piece of info comes in...I've been on prescription pain killers for a few years now. In case you didn't know...that stuff messes with your junk...so it was easy to attribute it to that. I decded that my junk is more important than the meds...so I quit...

Been clean for a week, and within the first few days...its like my penis was superman on extacy. lol Never felt it so hard. But then this past weekend...we were folling around, take our clothes off, start doing the do...and it fades like a Kobe jump shot. lol

I know whats wrong. Since there have been numerous times where this "fail" has happened...subconciously (or even consciously) we start thinking "OMG, penis don't fail me this time" before we even take off our boxers...sure enough, what happens ? Your focus becomes your reality. It cripples you. Then she thinks its her...and you have that akward few moments where you're both getting dressed and thinking FML !! lol

Whats important is this....IT WILL CHANGE !! It might take a few weeks, it might take a few months...maybe more. But if you love the person you're with....and are down to be patient until the mental block is overcome, one step at a time...then stick it out...b/c really, sex is only a small piece of a healthy relationship.

With my own situation, I have no doubt the drugs have desensitized my junk, where the brain isn't used to balancing out the naturla endorphins and dopamine that come along with sex...its still crazving the dopamine release from doing the drugs...I'm going to give it time. I've spoken with her, and she's really cool about it. She thinks she's not enough for me, and here I am thinking "oh great, now I've dissappointed her and she's going to go elsewhere"...thats B.S...neither of us really feel the way the other person thinks, and we're both just too focused on pleasing the other person.

Will let you know how it goes ;) But I'm pretty confident this will change. And pls do not resort to the blue pill...do it naturally. Believe it or not, take a teaspoon of honey, eat a banana half an hour before...and also eat watermelon...see if that helps ;)
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3132028_tn?1342543952
My boyfriend and I wnet through this. He would get hard and foreplay would be great but once it came time for actual sex, he couldnt keep it up. Natually it bothered me and because of that, I stopped want ing to have sex. Finally we alked about it and it turns out sex is painful for him. He is 25 and in good shape but when he was in the navy he crushed his arm and injured his back. The pain and the pain killers made it hard to continue. I would reccomend talking, especially if he look like he's in pain. You may learn something.
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Avatar_m_tn
Hi

Im RIcardo, I am a divorced male for the past 7 months and I met this girl now, Im in love with her and like to cuddle with her but my only problem now it seems I can't keep an erection to continue sexual activity with her. That really bothers me. I love her to death. She seems very understanding and willing to help me. She is sooooooooooooo sexy and i can't understand what's going on with me. Please help. I don't know if it's because it's been a while i don't have sex for the past 7 months or it's a mental thing. I want to please my girl, I love her.
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Avatar_m_tn
Hey everyone i'm 20 years old and i'm with my girlfriend (also 20) for almost 2 moths now... We wanted to have sex and i was the one to make the move all the time. We've tried 5 different times now and only had actual sex once.
i can get an erection with her easily but sometimes it seems as though she keeps arousing me for too long and i get tired and my erection starts to fade away. The time we had sex, she performed oral sex on me and worked out fine, but last night when i asked her to do it again she said "NO" because she thinks i can't get it up without oral and i guess she feels rejected. I really want to be with her but maybe i feel performance pressure, or confidence issues. Before we started beeing BF and GF we we're friends for almost 2 years. Maybe that has anything to do with it? Or should we just try talk this out and get over it and stay together?... I kinda lost over here xD
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Avatar_m_tn
Stop regurgitating the same ******* story over and over again with minor variations. this here is an actual contribution to you all based on my own reflections that i hope helps.  

In general all these young kids with erectile disfunction have it because of their over-masturbation which has been rampant in society since the introduction of internet porn. Its almost impossible to avoid this over-masturbation while going through adolescence and experiencing all the hormones and sex drive during that stage.

In this stage of adolescence (13-18), what happens is us boys beat the **** out of our dicks while staring at impossibly glamorous and erotic images on computer screens. Sometimes we bust 5 loads a day. Sometimes we go through 20 carefully selected clips before we tailor the perfect sensation for ourselves to strategically place our orgasm.

We wire our brains to be stimulated by images, rather than to physical contact.
Then, to make it worse, we have such a variety of porn at our hands that we have the privilege to become picky with what types of perfect models we want to see, and in what positions, etc...
Because of all this, our brain is then constructed, to have the actual neuro-transition passageways that concern the visual perception of arousal to completely override the inter-human physical contact neuro-passageways.

So when the pants come off and were in the bed with a girl, theres a lot of pressure from our brains to recreate what we now know as sex. Wether it be banging the perfect-yet fake- girl, or watching from another angle, it just cant happen.

Solutions? Stop watching porn. Period. From now on, if you masturbate, which you should do once every 2 days, do it with nothing more than your hand, staring at the roof. If you want to try and rewire your brain for actualy sex, try humping your hand instead of letting your hand do all the work. this way the motion of humping will be  now associated with producing an orgasm and your brain will slowly repair itself.

Have I researched a single thing about this? No. Does it sound exactly right? yes. because it has to be. Do I have this problem? yes. Have I tried this solution? nope, the forbidden fruit gets riper every day that it stays out there in the sun...anyways good ******* luck guys. I know Im still struggling...Im 19 and Ive used erection pills for  the pathetically low 3 times ive had sex this year and that turns out alright... egh, Im ashamed with what a little f porn junkie i was when i was little lol :'(
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Avatar_m_tn
I'm 27 years old and have the same problem. I get an erection from holding hands, kissing, going down...etc but when I start to have sex or even put on a condom, it immediately goes limp. I attributed it to being tired or stressed, but a major part of it is likely performance-based anxiety. I was with a beautiful girl last week, and performed poorly again. She agreed to have sex a couple more times, but just in case I bought a 5 pack of viagra. I tried it tonight, and it works very well so hopefully I can have sex the next time (if she actually comes over this weekend).

I'll try to limit my masturbating, drink less coffee, and stop watching porn. When I masturbate, I'll try to do it slower (like sex), and with less force even if it takes awhile longer. As for physical remedies, I'm considering a **** ring to prevent blood from flowing back into my body from my penis, and also considering purchasing the active chemical in viagra (sildenafil citrate) from an overseas supplier and using my lab equipment to do a chemical analysis for purity. This, because viagra is around $25-$30 per single pill.

I hope that many women are reading these posts as well, and taking note of recurring comments like "he might be cheating on me", "I'm not attractive to him anymore"...etc, or the amount of women who are getting angry. Those concerns you have are exactly the same concerns we think you have! This only feeds our anxiety. I know it's frustrating, but give us a break. As others said, a vagina only dries up and a simple lube can fix that problem. It's tougher to deal with a penis in this particular instance. Reassure yourself that poor performance in your boyfriend or husband is NOT your fault, THEN reassure us by letting us know that you're not hurt by it. It's absolutely critical for us to know that you don't blame yourself. If you get pissy after a poor performance or yell at us with no plan to do what I and others have suggested in terms of reassurance, then you might as well break up right now.
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Avatar_m_tn
I should point out that I tried viagra just on my own, to see if it would work. My erection came in 10 minutes without doing anything, and lasted 40 minutes until orgasm.
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Avatar_m_tn
It seems to be the same for me.  At first I was very much aroused by my gf, but after a while the arousal wore off.  That's it.  We're in a day and age where sex is slammed in our face, either online, movies, tv shows, reality tv, etc.  We can't help but to see different women expressing themselves provocatively with minimal attire.  Meanwhile, back in real life, my gf, who I adore and love with all my heart, doesn't turn me on as much like she used to.  So I'm looking into taking some type of male enhancement just to satisfy her, cause it's a two way street.  Hope this helps. ;)
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Avatar_m_tn
has this problem resolved itself?? I am having the exact same problem and cant seem to fix it
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4377914_tn?1353677997
Thanks, I'm suffering the same problem with my boyfriend of 11 months. We have tried talking throught it and that has helped a little. It may be due to the fact he watches porn alot but we will try the 4 week plan and see what happens, thanks for the help. :)
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Avatar_m_tn
Hello - it helped to read your comment.  I am going through the same thing with my bf now.  Our chemistry is amazing - when we're together you can feel the love and caring we have for one another.  We are both divorced: both of our ex spouses cheated on us and it has been a journey to pull ourselves out of something so hurtful.  While my bf and I both enjoy sex, he cannot maintain his erection when we're intimate. I try to reassure him but my confidence has taken a bit of a hit.  I have never had this problem with a man before but I absolutely love and adore him.  I'm sure whatever he's going through (psycholigical) is manifesting itself sexually - but reading what you wrote about loving your gf despite the issue is encouraging.  It would be a shame to lose what my bf and I have over something like this.  Thanks!
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Avatar_m_tn
I am 20 year old male and I recently had the same problem. I could get the erection no problem but maintaining it was another story. The problem, which is possibly the same for you, is that once I'm in sign after the initial penetration I couldn't feel anything. After reading a few post throughout my search I discover a remedy that worked like a charm for me. It was my masturbation technique. Instead of the "stationary stroke" where I just grip my penis and tug until I got off, I deferred to a stroke that more simulated the act of sex. Instead of just gripping my penis (which no vagina is tight enough to match) I actually stroked/rubbed my penis. The problem with the stationary stroke is that after so long you desensitize your penis. because of the amount of pressure you place on that one spot. If you actually stroke up and down your penis from the bottom from the tip you'll be able more simulate a woman's vagina. At first difficult to actually get an erection like this let alone ejaculate but once that becomes your habitual style of masturbation you'll be able to get off like normal and the feel of a woman will be times better than what it had been in the past
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Avatar_m_tn
I'm 26 years old and also can't usually maintain an erection during sex. I can get an erection with intimate contact (kissing, touching, and foreplay, and oral) but cannot maintain it during full intercourse. The blame for this problem lies in many different places but blame only helps prevention, not recovery.

I believe the majority of my specific problem is due to trained behaviors/habits, psychological problems (stresses), and is not due to ED. I had my long-term girlfriend check my penis while I was sleeping several times and she said I held an erections easy for 30+ minutes while sleeping. Holding an erection while you're asleep is supposedly one good way to determine if it's erectile dysfunction or not. If while you're asleep you have an erection and maintain it, then there are probably some other factors causing the problem.

Here are the lifestyle changes I'm adopting first instead of resorting to the pill. Some of these items may be useful to other people. I'm not saying it's easy (it *****, a lot) but in the long run I feel it will pay off. The other option (a frustrating sex life) is worse than everything below combined, trust me:

1. Porn. I'm reducing the amount of porn I watch and only watching videos that are realistic now. These videos are shot from angles that guys can actually see while having sex. I found a personal trend towards certain angles you can't really see while having sex in the porn I liked to watched. I believe cutting porn out entirely is probably a bad move though I now masturbate 2 or so times a week without porn. Linking a familiar visual stimulation, I think, should ultimately help during real sex. Also, I'm not watching the same videos over and over every time as 'go-to-videos.' I have a feeling I've trained myself to ejaculate to certain videos so mix it up!

2. Masturbation frequency. The porn reduction is primarily due to masturbation reduction. I was masturbating way too much (2-3 times a day). I've cut back to once 4-6 times a week now (hey, it's progress!) and intend to get down to 3-4 times a week. I will not cut out masturbation entirely since it is actually good for your prostate health and as a stress reducer.

3. Masturbation technique.

   a) Speed. I was moving my hand way too fast in an almost jack-rabbit like motion. I don't care how much cardio you do, this motion is not possible to replicate in real life by thrusting, even with two people, especially not for an extended time. I'm now stroking much slower and trying to match a reasonable speed I can maintain thrusting motion with bursts and still achieve orgasm.

   b) Grip. I was holding me penis too tightly and in a fashion that was difficult for someone else to replicate with a hand, nor less a vagina. I am now using a much looser hold that feels similar to a vagina. I don't always achieve orgasm but this is slowly changing with continued practice. I also purchased a masturbation sleeve (rubber tube) to use as well which to me, feels like the real thing once you add lube. I occasionally hold it stationary and thrust with my body instead of using my hands. This forces me to find the appropriate speed and the relevant sensation for that speed. It's difficult but I can now orgasm this way within 20 minutes (instead of the 100+ minutes it initially took).

   c)  Friction. Lube, lube, lots and lots of lube. Before I used to use a little spit or sometimes even do it dry. Terrible terrible idea, I can't say this enough. This can desensitize your penis over time and you won't even realize it (it doesn't hurt at all). I do not allow myself to ever masturbate without lube anymore. The wet feeling is also much more realistic than spit.

   d) Timing. I do not masturbate to morning wood anymore. Orgasm is far too easy and is around the peak of your testosterone cycle. I have moved my times to mid-late days when it's more likely I'll have sex. I figure in the future, if a nice morning after follows, it shouldn't be a problem ;)

   e) Focus. I'm moving the focus away from orgasm to pleasure and putting less focus on the head and more to the entire penis. I had only been stroking mainly the head but now I'm including the entire penis shaft, sometimes even avoiding the head all together. I figure less contact will make it even more sensitive over time, allowing the tissue to soften up some.

   f) Condoms. I've been occasionally using condoms when I masturbate with my hand or the sleeve. It might seem stupid (and yes, somewhat expensive) since it's not the intended purpose but I'd been having sex with my gf without condoms due to the pill plus my erection problem (removing condoms from the picture helped a lot, but didn't do it all). Condoms reduce the sensation and force me to focus on other aspects going on, helping me increase my ability to orgasm. At first, it took over an hour to ejaculate with a condom, now I can do it in around 25 minutes without falling into my old habits.


3. Exercise. I've been exercising more for multiple reasons, but to increase my overall stamina and blood flood for sex/erection, I've been jogging/running and I've been able to move from ~1 mile to 4-5 miles in 30-40 minutes 3-4 times a week. I've found that the more cardio I can endure, the longer I can last when thrusting my masturbation sleeve and the stronger my erection is (though other stuff is also contributing I'm sure).

4. Boxers. I got in a habit of sleeping naked. It turns out my sheets are slightly rougher than my boxers. Also, moving around in the bed gives me frequent unneeded stimulation every night whereas in boxers, additional sensation due to motion is reduced. I'm also buying more silky/smooth boxers to help speed the process up for the time being. I intend on slowly moving back to smooth cotton once the issue is manageable.

5. Creams. I have been using a light dermatological recommended moisturizing cream designed for other sensitive skin areas and I recently started applying some to my penis, especially the head. The cream is designed to keep sensitive skin from drying and also soften the skin, increasing sensitivity over time. I actually was prescribed this for a different reason but I count making me aware of this cream as fate. It seems to be helping.


There are other factors that are more difficult to control and adapt to which are psychological.

*When having sex, I worry about performance due to past failures and as others have said, this snowballs.
*You also worry making your girl feel self-conscience thinking it's their appearance (when it's probably not!).
*Other problems are focusing on achieving orgasm for your girl instead of enjoying the sex, and it becomes stressful and feels like a job to complete instead of sex.
*Ironically once you're at this point, you've probably abandoned condoms to get better sensation and now you're stressed about a potential accidental pregnancy (even using the pill), compounding the issue.

None of this helps the physical/physiological issues at all, believe me. It only makes the guy feel down right depressed though he may or may not share that with you depending on how close you are and how comfortable he is talking about it. It takes quite awhile to be comfortable talking about it even with someone close, at least it did for me. For many, this is the 'essence' of your masculinity, after all... and it's not working properly, think about that.

Needless to say, with all of this sexual reduction, I feel like I'm pumping with testosterone. The more that builds up though, the easier it seems to be to keep an erection and orgasm. It ***** growing up in the internet porn generation, it's definitely caused me a lot of frustration :( I hope some of this helps some other sap sucked into this practice out there, I've lost someone I really cared about because she couldn't take it anymore (and I can't blame her). Hopefully this works and hopefully it helps someone else!
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Avatar_m_tn
First reason:when guys jerk off a LOT (like me 3-5 times a day) it cuz serious mental problems (from my experience)
Second reason: I tried to stay Hard by washing my pe..s with a cold shower. It helped me only during 3 weeks. after besides of eraction problems I began to get and pee problems. Any way, STOP JERKING OFF or you will never stay hard and TRUST IT EXTREMELY DRIVES GIRLS CRAZY IF U *** OF DON'T STAY HARD DURING THE SEX.
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Avatar_m_tn
First reason:when guys jerk off a LOT (like me 3-5 times a day) it cuz serious mental problems (from my experience)
Second reason: I tried to stay Hard by washing my pe..s with a cold shower. It helped me only during 3 weeks. after besides of eraction problems I began to get and pee problems. Any way, STOP JERKING OFF or you will never stay hard and TRUST IT EXTREMELY DRIVES GIRLS CRAZY IF U *** OF DON'T STAY HARD DURING THE SEX.
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi I am 24baby years old. I just returned from Afghanistan a little over a month ago. At first when I got home the sex was great. I have been on leave for almost a month now basically sitting on my *** on the couch. Lately I am having a problem getting and maintaining an erection. My wife thinks it is her but I know that it is not. I only thought about her the entire year ago I was gone. Not only that but I'm moody, feel tired all the time with no energy and just want to sleep. I love my wife to death and don't want to see her hurt anymore. Thank you
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Avatar_f_tn
My personal experience through my byfriend is that, watching  porn and masturbating while watching porn, makes the brain move away from reality. Brain is the first and foremost  sexual organ, then comes rest. Most ED problems are because of brain. Avoid alcohol by all means, Avoid too much computer & TV, Have healthy foods that are rich in zinc, Regular exercises and Prescribed ED drugs in less frequent intervals would improve the body re coupe its original vital. In general during cold winters, the blood flow to all parts of the body would be less, it is better to have regular exercises especially during winter. Last and important, the intercourse would be different every time so do not expect to be like in porn. Believe it or not most porn is engineered not true.
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Avatar_f_tn
I know the feeling. I am 21 and my boyfrien is 35. we have tried so many times but he just can't keep an erection long enough. He has been able to get off twice so far but thats after less than a minute. which means none for me. he does great orally. But it's not enough. he can't keep it up because he is thinking about other things.. But never says what..  he is divorced ou of a 15 year marriage.. I worry I'm not good enough and that he's still thinking about the ex. it really breaks my heart.
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Avatar_m_tn
Hi Everyone

I am a 22 year old guy. Till last week, me and my girlfriend used to have mind blowing sex. We use condom, do foreplay and nothing went wrong. But, last week we were doing the same, I fingered her v*****, somehow my nails did hurt her walls. Afterwards, I put a condom on me and inserted in her. She told me that she needs to pee as something was hurting inside her. After those 2 minutes, she came back and we were ready for it, but immediately my erection went off and I was limp and flaccid. Don't know why. We stopped the intercourse session and diverted our minds from that.
Today, we tried again this time. I was great and erect to heights in foreplay but when it comes to penetration, I put a condom on and it got flaccid again.

Do anyone know what is the problem. I am really worried about it as this has happened for first time in my sex life.

Thanks
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