Curious about surgery on vaginal lips

[alittleshy]

I have large vaginal lips that i have always been very self conscious about.  My boyfriend likes them but I am not comfortable.  I have never heard of surgery to reduce them but there's surgery for everything else and I was wondering if that was an option.  I don't see it as a big risk on nervers or anything else because it is only the lips.  If you have any information on a possible operation I would appreciate it.  Thank you so much.

[greenpixie]

How do you know they are unusually big?  Did your boyfriend say so?  Personally, I would not have surgery.  Who sees it anyway?  Is it interfering with your day to day living some how?

[alittleshy]

I sometimes feel a bit nervous in a swim suit because I think it is very noticeable.  The first time I had a sexual act with someone, they commented on my large lips and I guess it's just stuck with me since then.  The only interference I notice is when I go to the bathroom there is no seperation so I sometimes have to hold my lips open to avoid urine on my skin.  My boyfriend doesn't really want me to do anything about it but says I should if it really bothers me that much.

[greenpixie]

Do you see a gyno?  Have they ever said anything about it?  If it really is a problem then you should talk to a DR about it.

[alittleshy]

I am having my first Pap next week because of chronic yeast infections that are starting to worry me and beginning to be extremely uncomfortable so I guess I will bring that to their attention and see what they think about it.  Thanx so much.

[corykis okay]

I agree with green pixie unless for some medical reason i wouldnt worry about it If you looked at any man or women down there NOTHING is pleasant looking really. We would all love to change something about ourselves, dont let one comment make you do something drastic.Talk to your doctor about options  if you wish,but unless it was a medical problem I would leave things alone!

[JoAnnaRF]

The guy you were with that made the rude comment had probably very littel experience and was basing his opinion on pictures in magazines or something. Some men can be so ignorant.. The one you are with now sounds like the one you should be listening to. All women are different. This makes us all special. There is not one conformity of what a woman is SUPPOSED to look like. Your face doesn't look like the neighbors or the bank tellers right? Well neither does anything else. If you are not in pain or having physical problems, and your man is obviously happy with everything then why spend the money and go thru the pain? You are the way you are for a reason. Try to be happy with YOU.
Good luck!--J

[monkeyflower]

Wow, I really like Joanna's analogy: you don't expect to have a face just like your neighbor's, so why would you expect to have a vulva just like hers? I also agree that your ex was likely very inexperienced, because all women are *completely* different. I've been one of several vulva models at different sex workshops, and even very experienced folks are startled at how truly different our vulvas are when looked at up close and clinically.

Really, I'm just so not a fan of labiaplasty. I don't like cookie cutter body parts, and I think this surgery in particular plays upon people's deepest insecurities. Part of the problem I think lies in the fact that unless you're a gyn, you just don't see very many women's vulvas. And when you don't really know what other women look like, you have to rely on your imagination, what you might see in porn, and what your equally inexperienced partners tell you. Unfortunately, many people don't compare themselves favorably in any respect, even when it's just imaginary.

Anyway, among other things, I lead sex workshops. One deals at length with this very subject, because invariably at least half the women think their vulvas are ugly. I encourage women to check themselves and each other out, because I think you'll see that not only are all people different, but all people are beautiful. My workshops are experiential, but you don't have to do this in person. I would pick up a copy of "Femalia", by Joani Blank - it's tons of photos of all different vulvas. I'd also encourage you to check out www.bettydodson.com, because not only does she have great illustrations and photos of different vulvas, but she has such a sex-positive, affirming message I think all women and men need to hear.

Paraphrasing a great quote (I think from Betty Dodson): Vulvas are like snowflakes - all are different, and all are beautiful :-)

[Jenni6485]

I have that SAME problem! And I too are VERY self consious about them. Since I was a little girl I looked at them and thought they were weird. I've looked at pictures of other women and their lips are small, mine are long and stick togather like a shield protecting my vagina. I was dating a guy a long time ago, and when it came down to the deed, he went down and got all freaked out... and that was that... Totally devistating to my self esteem. But I agree with JoAnna, some men just dont know what women are supposed to look like. They see those pictures and they dont put in the fact that there are real women out there with different bodies and anatomys. My boyfriend loves them, he was a bit weird at first, but he realizes that they add more feeling in sex, for the both of us.
Ive thought of surgery too, just a snip and patch, and there I go... I wouldnt miss them, Id feel better about myself just knowing that I dont have to be emerissed when sex comes around. But God made me who I am. We all have imperfections, and it takes a big decision to fix them. Its totally up to you, it's a simple procedure that takes a few months to fully heal.  
Try to block that negative comment out. It hurts deep down, and you'll always remimber how you felt when he said it, but you need to realize that what he says isnt going to change anything. You are who you are. Inside and out, and if he dosnt like it, well fine, he dosnt have to, buhb bye, you'll find someone who appreciates your body and what it entails.
:-)

[Jenni6485]

It's called labia reduction surgery. There is plastic surgery that defines your vagina, it sculpts and reshapes your lips, changes the color pigmentation if they're purple or whatnot.. and then there is what the gyno does.. They trim, or ampitutate excess skin that can leave scaring and an unnatural appearance.
Go to your search engine and type in 'labia reduction surgery' and you'll find one in your area.
Talk to some specialists and get a run down of the procedure from both a gyno and plastic surgion.
Hope that helps
Jen

[JoAnnaRF]

Just wanted to point out what Jenni said.. "Like a shield protecting my vagina." Yep that is EXACTLY what they are there for. I beleive that women with smaller lips have smaller, well everything they are covering up.. And if you make them smaller, you will be leaving the parts they are protecting exposed and less protected. Your eyelids are a certain size, When you blink they cover and protect the entire eye. Would you reduce the size of them leaving your eyes exposed? I know it's not exactly the same thing but the only analogy I could come up with at the moment. LOL You get my point..

[alittleshy]

Thank you so much girls you helped a lot.

[oceans3]

you didnt say what you decided or how you feel about it all now? details, girl, details!

[alittleshy]

Well i did decide that I am who I am and if it doesnt pose any major problems then avoiding the procedure would be best.  It's expensive and involves a lot of pain that in the end would only be seen by my boyfriend (who is happy with how I am) and myself.  So for now I have decided to stay with my large lips which my boyfriend actually told me the other day felt better during sex!

[oceans3]

you go girl! thanks for posting back.

[arikira]

Actually, there are a ton of men out there who LOVE women with full lips (some guys are into labia majora, others are into labia minora). I would even say that most men like fuller labia - just like most men like women with full lips on their faces. Do a google search for "met art" or "hegre archives" and you will see all the gorgeous models there, some of whom have very full, healthy-looking lips. Also check out penthouse model "andie valentino", for example.

Full lips give the sense that your partner is excited, because when this happens, the genitalia (male and female) become somewhat enlarged. There is really nothing more exciting to most normal men than when his lover is (or seems) excited. This is why, some women report to faking orgasms -- the ones who do this understand the dynamic of making their lover feel capable of providing extreme pleasure.

It would be a shame to maim the petals of your flower -- these petals can provide you with so much pleasure -- if you are willing to teach your loving partner how to deal with them properly. The sad fact is that most men and women are very uninformed about how to please their partners -- mostly due to "shyness". There is no reason to be shy about what you want/like and what you don't want/like, because the person you are with really does want to please you (unless he/she does not, in which case its time to move on).

Educate yourself as to the pros and cons of this surgery, but know this - you will be changing yourself in order to conform to an imaginary standard that some plastic surgeons and other financially motivated individuals are attempting to impose upon us, not due to any real standard of "beauty". Beauty is found in nature, not in crude, Frankenstin-like modifications of our natural, beautiful bodies. Take care of your body, don't wound it!!!

[Londonerette]

Thank you so much for your words and references to met art and other sites. I have been doing so much research in the last few weeks in order to reassure myself that I am okay. It has left me feeling really confused, and I had already booked in to see a plastic surgeon for a consultation on labioplasty this week.

However, when I looked at the photos of Andi Valentino and others with larger labia, I was so amazed, that someone so beautiful could also have a vulva with fuller labia. There is so much secrecy surrounding this subject and unless you are a doctor or a man, you have no idea the variation in form. Wow. Simply amazing. Women need to talk more and compare more...

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[weirdedout]

I guess it would be easy for people to say that you should just be happy with your body, when you don't have vaginal lips. It is really embarrassing to be in a swimsuit and what if you don't have a boyfriend. I would know, and I don't want to even try to get another guy to even look at me. It is really nerve racking and it's really hard because i feel like they always get caught in my underwear and it really hurts. What should I do about that? I am really confused, please someone help me. I don't have the money and my mother will refuse to back me up on this. It's just really hard for me to go about everyday things.

[confused75]

i nevr realyy had these lips i started to develpo them when i was 1 or 12 but i never realyy talke to my mother about it i realyy dont mind them but i wonder if when i have a bogriend how ill explain to him plus ive never realyy had sex before and the thought of it scares me so i dont realyy know what to do it looks very disgusting like i have a penis or something i dont really know what to do !

[pseudonamehere]

It's incredibly embarassing and feels like it can be seen when I'm in a swimsuit or underwear and can be uncomfortable and VERY annoying. Some guy even started a rumor that I had balls! I'm embarrased and unconfident.

[rubylemon]

While I definitely agree that surgery is unnecessary for aesthetics, I do think that for reasons of discomfort it is an option to consider.    I never noticed that my lips were actually larger than usual until my gyno pointed it out (real sensitive woman she was! geez). They have never really bothered me too much on a day to day basis, but maybe that's because I've never known them any other way.  In general, I think choices like this should be about comfort and health.  If you cannot be physically comfortable, you will not be able to be comfortable psychologically either.  For me, boyfriends I've had have always liked my large lips, and at this point anyone who would have a problem with them would not be sexually open enough for my liking. It's taken a long time of thinking and forums like this to get it through my head that my body is beautiful the way that it is.  Also helpful for me was reading up on forced female genital mutilation in other cultures, which made me appreciate what I have.  Keep up the good discussion ladies, i think it is helpful for so many women.  And...lets honor our bodies and the fact that we are not forced at a young age to have them scarred!

[curious000]

just recently i have noticed that my lips have grown larger. i have frequent sex with my boyfriend. my question is will they get larger do to constant sex or is it just something that grows on its own.

[curious000]

To: anyone
just recently i have noticed that my lips have grown larger. i have frequent sex with my boyfriend. my question is will they get larger do to constant sex or is it just something that grows on its own.

[Boop21]

Hi I've been having the same problem and I'm only 21 and I don't want to have surgery done. I just started thinking about if there was another way to reduce without surgery. I don't want it to change anything else sexual wise. If anyone can let me know some suggestions please comment