You shouldnt freak out because your making yourself sicker. Go shopping, get a new sweater, or new *shoes*, buy something neat for the house... Shopping has always eased my pain. I used to be hospitalized for malnutrition all the time in highschool. I was anorexic, and often lost consiousness in school, but after I got out of the hospital, we went shopping, and made us both feel better.
I know that you have a bigger issue than I did, but if you keep your mind off it, and concentrate on something else.. Maybe finding the *perfect* pair of jeans, or those shoes you've always wanted... Or going to lunch with a family member, or a best friend.. and talking about things that make you happy, and staying away from the things that make you sad.
So, put on a cute outfit, curl your hair, put on that favorite shade of eyeshadow and go out for the day. It feels so nice to be in public. It's real hard to have a panic attack when you're feeling good about yourself, and doing something you enjoy right?
Just get out of the house, the home is the easiest place to dwell, and that's not what you want.
Good luck hun,
<3 Jen
Why would you think you need endoscoped just bec you need an upper GI? I had an upper GI, it's really not that bad. I know about 4 or 5 people that were endocoped, and they said it wasn't that bad either. It sounds like your anxiety is making your situation much worse. Is there anything you can do to take your mind off the situation or a way to relax?