Decisions, decisions...

[undecided00]

I am having a huge dilemma. I'll be including lots of background info, so sorry if I start to ramble! i found out 2 days ago that i was very unexpectedly pregnant, while using condoms and rhythm method. I don't think I am any further along than possibly 3.5-4 weeks. I've been married to dh for 12 years.he just started a residency program after med school and finances are more than tight. we have two children 8 and 5. my 8 year old has moderate functioning autism, my 5 year old is normal. with my 8 year old, i was put on bedrest  at 29 weeks for preterm labor, and with my 5 year old i was pre-eclamptic(toxemia) (had to be induced because my bp went sky high, and remained high for a week after birth). Obviously it's only been 2 days since we found out, but I am confused as hell. We didn't plan on having more kids for several years, if at all. dh doesn't want to risk my health with the pregnancy, which is a very valid point I really need to be there for both of my kids. I am just absolutely undecided. we are talking about terminating, but again, had not made a concrete decision. we could make a good home for it. but the risk of autism is greater with each birth. i am 35. risk of pre-eclampsia is greater with subsequent pregnancies. input desired.

[undecided00]

bump

[nicole179]

wow, that sounds like a hard decision.  i know the feelings associated with an unexpected pregnancy, i am 6 mos pregnant now myself with my first, completely unplanned, and unwanted in the beginning.  i considered termination because i never wanted children, but my boyfriend of 5 years really wanted the baby.  now i am very happy with the decision i made and can't wait until our son is born!  But then again i did not have any major health concerns either.  I wish you the best in your health and decision, my suggestion would be to speak with your doctor about your health concerns and then do what is best for you.  

[msniki412]

Hmmmm, thats a tough decision. Personally, I don't beleive in having an abortion....but I'm not against someone having it done. It's you choice and only you and your DH can choose that. Have you talked to any doctors about your pregnancy and see what there ideas were? Maybe you wouldn't have any complications with the pregnancy, or if any of it can be prevented? I don't know much about pregnancy (never been pregnant), so I'm probably not much of help. IMO, I could probably never ever terminate a pregnancy even with knowing something could be wrong with the baby. BUT, if your health is in question then I have to say it would probably be the right choice. On the other hand, you and DH were talking about having more kids down the line, wouldn't the risks be higher at that point with your age? I know you say your 35 now, at what age were you planning on more kids?